Jar of Emotions

Reaching stars and Moon

Twenty-fourth day of december, my feet touches the ground and look at the dark blank sky. I lift my left arm and tiptoed as if I can reach it.

I inhaled some air because of the wariness that I am feeling and looked down in my feet. I started to walk with my head hung low. What's with this day?

The streets are noisy coming from the houses who celebrate christmas eve.

Children shouting and playing, friends that teases each other and laughing, men having drinks. It's so loud.

But for me, it's a deafening silence.

A deafening silence that continues to haunt me and bothers me. Like I would carry it in my shoulders for a lifetime.

Twenty-fifth day of December, raging headache meets me in the morning caused by the whiskey and rhum that I stole. I woke up in my already wrinkled bed and stared at the ceiling with nothingness.

"Why did you wake up?" I whispered.

I just stayed there and consume my hours doing nothing.

Night came, in the dining table where cigarettes are placed as the dinner and a beer.

I stood up and put my sweaters with a hoodie and headed out the apartment. My feet touches once again the cold cement and it feels.... as if it's been with me the whole time.

It felt peace. It felt calming in every way. I started to walk the same path that I did everytime that I go out, every night, same dress, same time and bared feet. I halted on the same spot where I always was and looked at the sky.

Dark blue sky with some stars and the moon.

I lifted my left arm and tiptoed it. I bit my lip to surpress the tears but I can't because I can't reach you. Youre too far. I sobbed and tiptoed more but, no. Useless.

"Ugk." Sobbing so hard but keeping it silent.

"Wait for me." I said in my mind.

"Til I reach you again and feel your hands."

I'll repeat this millions of times til that day comes.