Bound with fear

Anya's Rant

…………. Sleep didn’t come to me as I lay in my bed hearing the clock strike two am and then three. I got up and walked to the closet and pulled out some pants that Anya had brought for me and pulled them on along with a white shirt, these clothes felt so odd compared to what I was used to wearing as I slipped my feet in to boots, reaching back into the closet for a cloak. I threw it round my shoulders and walked to the door of the apartment. Anya was still peacefully sleeping. I put my hand on the door handle and opened the door.

“Where are you going?” I jumped at the sound of Iagan’s voice from the darkened hallway

“I was going looking for you Guardian” I snapped “I was ready to find your body”

“And why would you find my body?” He got up off of the floor and moved to face me “I’ve been here since you made a few people question what they were drinking when you just disappeared” he gripped my elbow moving me back into the apartment closing the door behind him and locking it. He looked over at Anya and then carried on with me to the bedroom closing the door behind him. “You leave somewhere and I leave that’s how it works” he let go of me and reached his hands up and went for the clip at the front of my cloak I stepped back “You have her scent all over you” I did the fastening myself pulling the cloak from my shoulders.

“And you have his all over you” Iagan tipped his head “We’re even”

“You’re supposed to have my back” I dropped the cloak on the end of the bed and put my hands on my hips his eyes roamed from my head to my feet and then back up again.

“When did I not have it” He barked

“When her hand was in your pants” I stepped closer to him “When Seth turned up because they all sensed my Father in the city… When I wanted you to look at me and give me the reassurance you were there”

‘I’m your Guardian never question me my lady. I saw he was there and I felt what they felt and I saw the way he never even looked at you” He moved closer to me “I can still find a woman to be with me while I have your back He pulled open the top three buttons of my shirt showing the faint scar that seemed to become more pronounced when he was close to me. My breath caught in my throat as his hand pressed to my chest “I feel everything remember mo Bhean as you feel me” his eyes were intense as he stared into mine

“I know I felt your blood boil in me Iagan” I tipped my head “When Brae Kissed me” for the first time his gaze dropped from mine for a split second before coming back.

“That was for the woman I was with don’t get ideas that can’t be Kendra” he stepped back from me “But remember one thing don’t question the whores I am with when you are nothing more than a whore doing your father’s wishes” I got wide eyed at his brazenness. “Go to bed you have to train in the morning to be ready” he walked to the door pausing to look round at me, I was expecting to see the hate in his eyes but instead pain seemed to flash over them before he went to the other room.

I sat on the end of the bed my breath seeming to come in short bursts as the tears ran down my face. I was nothing more to any of them other than a tool to be used to get what they wanted even Iagan looked at me like I was little more than something to be discarded after its usefulness had ended.

Iagan walked to the couch opposite where Anya was lay and sat down looking into the flames his fingers rubbing at his temples.

“Why do you push her away?” Anya opened her eyes and asked quietly, Iagan slowly looked at his sister “The Mistress Iagan… why push her away and say those things to her” she sat up and he got up and walked over to sit with her Pulling her against him and resting his head on the top of hers

“You’re imagining it” he sighed “and you should go back to sleep”

“Iagan I’m not a child” she pulled back and looked at him “Do you not think I know when you are hurting” the worry on her face was heartbreaking “We cannot escape this life but you have the chance to be more to her”

“Anya you do not know what you’re speaking of” he shook his head and leant forward on his arms

“I know you’re blood mixes with hers and hers in you” she got off the couch and knelt at his feet holding his hands He groaned and shook his head “Iagan the things you said to her in her room I heard you”

“Anya you are still a child” he sighed touching her face “There is still so much about what is going on that you cannot possibly understand” She pulled away from him

“I’m not a child I lost my innocence a longtime ago” tears brimming her eyes “Iagan I understand she is scared and alone and so confused right now she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do for the right… What she is doing is what she’s been told to do by her father… the same man the raped me in ways you couldn’t imagine… She has a sense of loyalty if anyone asked me to kill for you I would do it in a heartbeat… but she doesn’t know all of it the entire whole story” Iagan looked at Anya and closed his eyes slowly blinking before taking a deep breath “You were beaten to almost Death as was most of your warriors when he came back after losing his sons he took it out on all of you that his twisted plans had gone wrong and he’d lost the chance to get the one thing he wants”

‘Anya Stop” eh gripped her shoulders and shook her a little “I do not know where you get these ideas” he couldn’t look her in the eye.

“I’m not deaf or dumb Iagan I have ears and I have a brain in my head… Do not let her go she needs you… she needs you to love her’

“Anya” he moaned

“Tell me you don’t love her like you’ve never loved anyone Iagan and I’ll not say a word ever again”

“Go to sleep deirfiúr (sister)” he got up and laid her down “do not worry about my heart” he kissed her cheek “I wonder if I have one left anymore” he looked to my bedroom door “Things must happen for a reason” he murmured more to himself than to Anya “pain is part of the destiny”…………