My Darling ♥

chapter 49

Lizzy's POV.

I'm not even sure if  i'm talking about Josh or Hunter. but i think the problem is... i'm thinkin about both. 

why is everything so confusing? i can't take it anymore!! 

"will you take me away?" i ask. 

he pulls away from me, a little. "what?"

"take me away. i need to get away from everything here. will you take me away? please" i lean forward and take his hands. 

"liz.. i can't" he shakes his head slowly. his eyes betray his words; he is desperate to take me away. 

"i know you want to. it's easy. we just have to get on a plane and never look back. we can go to Ireland, we can buy a house and i could get a job"

"why would you get a job?"

"well, i would have to pay my half" i say. 

he shakes his head. "do you know how much money i make for singing one word? there's no way i'm letting you work for how much you want to pay" 

"but, i have to support myself. i can't ask you for that much money"

"i don't mind donating" he says. i feel touched but also a little insulted. 

"donating?" i've never been called poor before, cause i'm not. but i'm certainly not rich. .. well, technically i am poor because i only work as a babysitter for my aunt. she does give me quite a bit of money, but only because she's gone for like a day or two. my dad works non-stop. i barely ever see him at home. it's mostly just me and alex. 

"no. i didn't mean it like that. i mean like, i don't mind paying for you"

"so you will take me away?" i stand up and he does too. 

"no. i can't. your life is here. i can't take you away from everyone that loves you"

i scoff "not very many people in that department" 

"what do you mean? your friends over there" he looks over at emily, jennifer and amanda "they love you" 

"that's only because we've been friends since preschool. they feel obligated to me" 

"that's not what i see"

"please, i just need to get away. i want to be with you, away from here"

"okay, then we'll get away from here" 

he takes my hand and pulls me toward our group. "is everything okay?" emily turns away from Zayn. 

"yeah. she juts wanted some air" Niall answers for me. 

"have you been crying?" emily wipes at my cheek. "what happened?" 

she pulls me away from Niall and shoots him daggers. "it's not Niall's fault. i was just thinking about... you know who" i say. 

"oh, honey. i know it's hard but you have to forget. i know you loved her so much, we all did. but, thinking about her just makes your need for her grow"

"no, not my mom" 

"then who? josh?" 

i shrug. i'm not even sure who i'm talking about. 

"why are you thinking about josh? is everything okay between you guys?" she says. i shake my head and she pulls me into a hug. "do you want to talk about it? i don't mind missing the first five/ten minutes of the movie"

"i was actually.." i look back at Niall. 

"oh, .. is he ging to be your distraction?" 

"distraction? no" i say. i whisper in her ear, "i actually like him. he's going to take me away from here. he's going to save me". i walk away from her and take Niall's hand. i drag him out of the theater. right befre we exit the doors i hear emily say, "save you from what?".

"wait. where are they going?!" i hear harry say loudly. i look back to see him jogging toward us. "run!" i say and we run the entire way to the parking lot. he's completely out of breath when we reach his car. 

"how.. do .. you ru..n that..far..and not.. be ... out of.. brea.. th" he puffs. 

"i run a lot. and i enjoy it" i say simply. 

"you must be superhuman to be able to run that far and your breathing not change one bit"

"ahh. yes, it's one of my many secrets" 

"oh, so you keep secrets?"

"of course. it's a must in this world. maybe.. just maybe, i won't have to keep secrets in my next life. maybe, i can be a free spirit and won't have to keep anything from anyone"

"you believe in reincarnation?" 

"of course" i lay on the hood of the white Mercedes-Benz CLA. "it's the only way i get through"

"that can't be the only thing"

"it is. it's the only thing that keeps me going. if i wasn't able to count on returning to a new life where everything will be better then i would've been gone already. i need to die naturally in order for the transformation to occur properly. if i kill myself, then i would truely be dead"

"you would kill yourself?"

"yep. i was close once, but then i stopped myself because i knew if i did it myself then i would never come back and my spirit would be gone"

"that's scary. i'm so sorry that you have ever felt the need to kill yourself"

"please. i have heard that exact line from too many people that i have no interest in. please don't be one of those people. right now, i like you. please don't do anything to change that" 

"i'm so-"

"no. don't appologize. just get me outa here" i say with a smile. i hop off the hood and get in the passenger side of the car. 

a shy smile appears on his face. i point to him, then at the front seat. his smile grows. he walks around the car and gets in the front seat. he pulls the keys out of the right pocket of his grey jeans. he puts the keys in the ignition and brings the car to life.