My Darling ♥

chapter 37

it was still raining. harder than it was yesterday. 

it's only been a few days and i'm sick of the cold. literally sick. i woke up with such a stuffed up nose i couldn't breath and i had a headache that felt like there was a leprachaun in my head pounding on it. my eyes were watering from my lack of sleep and from the pain in my throat that didn't allow me to swallow. my legs ache from a mixture of the cold and from all the running in the rain. 

i groan and wrap my blanket tighter around myself, trying to get my body heat back. 

the memory of last night comes flooding through my mind. i sigh from how stupid i was.

i get out of my bed and rush to the living room. i check the couch and hunter isn't there. his shirt is gone. the blanket is folded neatly and set on the arm of the couch. the couch pillows are back in place and they still have a little dent.. which means he didn't leave very long ago. 

i rush to the front door and right as i open the door i hear his car door open. "hunter!" i say.

he turns around and looks at me. he looks guilty. i felt tears gather in my eyes. what?! why am i becoming such a softy?!! what has happened to me?! 

"you said you would be there when i woke up. you said you would be right there!" i said. his guilt grew. he walked over to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. 

"i thought i would be. your father asked me to leave. he said it would be best for you. he wants you to focus on your school work and your job. he says you have no time for boys and if i ever come back then.. " he said.

"i dont care. he doesnt know what's going on between us. he doesnt know! no one does! no one knows what's going on between us.. i dont even know! do you?" i say and i fight back the tears desperately but it doesn't work and they slip down my cheeks. 

he puts his hands on my cheeks and wipes at the tears with his thumbs. "Liz.. i really like you. but, if your father isn't okay with it i have to respect that and..."

"what is wrong with me?" i ask out of no where.

"what? nothing. you are absolutely perfect! liz. you are perfec in every way and so many people care about you.. including your dad. that's why he doesnt want me around. he doesnt want you to get hurt and.."

"no. no.. what is wrong with me? why am i always crying? i've never cried once before that night at Emily's.. why now?" i ask more to myself than him. 

"I-I.."

"I'm sorry. that question was more for me than you. i'm sorry. i'm a mess, i should just.." i go to turn around and before he can grab my wrist and talk more i run inside the house and slam the door behind me. i slide down the door and curl up in a ball, muffling my sobs so alex or dad dont come looking for the noise. 

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beep

 

beep

beep

b-

the peircing noise was cut off by me throwing it against the wall. it basically exploded, but without an explosion. that's how hard i threw it.

i'm becoming exactly what i told josh i wasn't. 

a bipolar bitch.

first i'm crying, then hunter sits on the other end of the door until i finally open it and curl up into a ball again. he picked me up and carried me to my bed. he's such a sweetheart and i'm such a bitch.

he's wrong. i'm not perfect.. i'm far from it. i'm anything but perfect.

i dont plan on going to school. i havent been socializing for a couple days. i'm just glad it's friday. 

tomorrow is the one direction concert with emily, amanda, jennifer and emily's mom. emily's mom has to go with us sinse we're under age and we need a supervisor to go back stage.. not realy, she just wants to know exactly where we are and what we're doing and who we're with. emily just told her that we need a supervisor so she would feel better and she would never let us go if she wasn't there. 

i goran and get out of bed. first i go to my bathroom and fix my make up. i brush my hair and put it up in a messy bun. it can look a lot better but i dont care that much about how i look and what people think of me today. .. tomorrow is another story.

i go to my closet and grab an eggshell knitted sweater with a white undershirt and dark wash jeans. i add my peach infinity scarf and black combat boots with white socks that end just above the top of my boots. 

i look good today, surprisingly. i glimpse at my reflection in my full-body mirror and shrug. i grab my black ray bans and my brown book bag and walk out the door and start my long walk to school.

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when i get to school i still have five minutes until school starts so i go to the school cafe and order myself a vanilla mocha with whip cream and a caramel drizzle. 

it's only drizzling outside but i'm still freezing. i think it's going to snow in a couple of days. 

i sip my mocha while walking through the halls and to my first class. i sit in my seat and warm my body from my throat to my stomach by drinking my coffee. hunter walks in but stops once he sees me. i bite my cheek and he looks down and puts his hands in his pockets. 

i put my drink down and stare at my hands. i twist my mom's old wedding ring on my finger. i asked my dad if i could have it as a purity ring. he quickly accepted my request and never brought it up again. my dad was very sensitive when someone brought up mom. he would break down and he wouldnt talk to anyone for hours. it's a sensitive subject to me and alex too. if someone brings up my mom to either of us we go into angry adult male polar bear mode. 

i heard him take a deep breath and walk over to sit in his seat next to me. 

why Mrs. Weatherford insists on a boy-girl-boy-girl seating chart i do not understand. 

we sat there in silence until the bell rang. when the room started filling up with more people the awkwardness became a little less.. but it was still there. 

i dont think anything will ever breeak the awkardness between us. the things that happened that night when hunter spent the nigt.. twice, will forever haunt us both. nothing will change that.

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sorry i havent updated in the last few days. i'm hoping the triple update today will make up for it:) ily all! thank you so much for reading and please vote! it means so much that you like it:)