My Darling ♥

chapter 75

Lizzy's POV.

what was i going to say to him?

was he going to listen?

of course not! he just caught me with one of his best friends! how could he?!

..

..

..

will he forgive me?

i sure hope so.

he doesn't deserve this.

he has been good to me. he has been patient. he has been loving and caring and sincere. 

he deserves all that in return.

i tyr to rid of my thoughts as i lightly tap my knuckles againts his door.

"go away" i hear his rasped voice.

was he crying?

"please, Niall. i need to talk to you"

"i have nothing to say to you"

"you don't need to say anything. just listen"

"i'm not listening to anything you have to say"

i sigh and open the door. 

i slowly close it behind me.

i see him curled up on his bed. 

sitting criss-cross. his elbows on his knees. his head in his hands. 

he looks like a small child that just got told he couldn't get ice cream today. 

"i want to apologize" i say softly.

"for what? sleeping with one of my best mates? nah. save your breath. i won't listen anyways" he mumbles.

"i didn't sleep with him"

"not yet"

i sigh and sit next to his limp body on his bed.he scoots away and uncurls himself. he lays on his side and faces away from me.

"just go away. i don't want you here. and you obviously want to be with harry, so just go. be with him. see if i care" he says, hate laced through his voice.

"but that's just the thing. you do care. you love me. you've said it like three times today. you might be telling yourself you don't love me, but your heart knows the truth"

"don't lie. it's not good for innocent girls.. oh wait" he turns to face me for a mere second to finish his sentence while sending me a hateful glare. "i guess that rule doesn't apply to you"

he turns away from me again.

i feel tears glossing my eyes and i hold them back. 

"i don't love you. i never did. never will" 

his words stinging my heart as if someone jabbed their hand through my chest, ripped my heart out, pounded it with a mallot and left it on the floor to rot.

a single tear slips out of my eye and trails down my cheek.

i sniffle while wiping at the water dropplet.

Niall slightly turns his face and i see a guilty and sad little boy. 

but as soon as he knows i saw him soften to me crying, he hardened his face and covered it with a blank expression. 

"never huh?" i ask.

he sighs. "i'm sorry. i didn't mean it" he turns to me. 

he reaches out to wipe away the tears that followed the first, but i swat his hand away.

i get off the bed and walk to the door. i open it and leave it open while i stand there for a second. i turn back to him, "i love you. i do. but.. i loved harry first. i hope one day you will find someone who deserves your kind and loving nature" i wipe at a tear that suddenly slipped out of my left eye. "when i first met you, i thought it would be me. i thought i was actually worthy of you" i shake my head "but i wasn't. and i'll never be"

i look him in the eyes. "but some girl out there will be lucky enough to own your heart one day. and i'm dissapointed that it couldn't have been me. i belong to harry. just as you will belong to some wonderful lady you will meet one day along the road. you will see her and you will fall madly in love" 

"a few months ago, i dreamed about being that girl. i dreamed about being yours. i dreamed about you being mine.. i dreamed that we were the happiest people in the world. no one around us could understand what we were going through. no one could unserstand our love. no one except us. i stole your heart, and you stole mine. we comitted the perfect crime. everyone dreams about something like that in their life time" i shrug. "but a few days ago.. i thought my dream was actually coming true.. but i guess not. since you don't love me.. and you never will" i shrug. 

i see fresh tear stains on his cheeks. "lizzy-"

"no" i shake my head. "dont"

i take a deep breath and walk out of his room.

.. well that wasn't so hard.

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

nevermind.

i break down, sobbing.

why did everything have to get so screwed up?

..

why did i have to be so screwed up?

i came into their lives and screwed everything up.

i am the problem.

i cause all the fights.

i cause all the arguments.

i cause everything.

i never wanted this.

i never wanted any of this to happen.

i just wanted to meet my idols and to become friends with them so i could talk to them and have fun with them and mess with each other.. and just be friends.

honestly, before i met them i had almost no interest in dating them.

i wanted to be friends with them.

i wanted to laugh with them, joke with them, tease each other.. be friends.

..

but nothing i wanted happened.

everything went wrong in every possible way.

..

this could not possibly get any worse.

JINX!

the front door to the appartment opens.

a worried seventeen year old boy standing in the door frame.

his eyes scan the room and then land on me.

"hunter?"