green ⇔ shawn mendes

Stitches

It was raining. A lot. Shawn peered around, trying to place where he was. He could hear rain, and see rain, but he could not feel the rain. Standing on a quaint brown path, he watched it, as it swirled around his feet.

In front of him was a gravel road. Shawn felt a sudden urge to cross to the other side. He took a couple of steps, then paused. In the distance he saw two yellow beacons. He wondered if he was near the sea and if he was looking at lighthouses. As he wondered the yellow beacons drew closer. Like a moth drawn to a flame he was lured in and could not sense the pain.

"How strange," said Shawn.

The yellow beacons drew closer and closer until Shawn suddenly realised they were not lighthouses at all, but in fact a car. As Shawn turned to run he caught a glimpse of a familiar pair of eyes behind the wheel. They captivated him and Shawn could no longer move. The car hit him at full speed and he was thrust away from the car.

Shawn stumbled, tripping over himself. Shaking, falling onto his knees, Shawn yelled at the car, begging Mickey to come out and help. Blood was everywhere and he was short of breath. "You watch me bleed until I can't breathe! I'm aching, begging you to come help!"

The car made a quick u-turn. It slowed down as it passed Shawn, and Mickey rolled down her window. Her eyes were lifeless.

"Don't want your love," she said, before speeding off into the distance, leaving a wake of water and Shawn seeing red on his own.

"Your words cut deeper than a knife, I need someone to breath me back to life. Now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches..."

Shawn grimaced, the pain becoming overwhelming, especially in his right knee. He got a feeling that he's going under. At first he tried to stop the darkness from creeping in, but for Shawn, what was a world without Mickey?

-

-

-

"Shawn!!"

Shawn jolted awake, to see his mother over his bedside.

"Honey are sure you're okay? Are your stitches okay? You were screaming," she informed him. Shawn's cheeks flushed red.

"Sorry, it was just a bad dream," he apologised. Mickey had haunted him for the first few nights back on tour, so he was pretty happy to have his mother alongside with him.

"I'm becoming rather worried about you Shawn, things with Mickey have really taken a toll on you," she said, concerned.

"Just gotta get her out of my head, I know that I'll make it out alive if I quit calling her my lover, and move on," he said to his mother, as she inspected his knee.

"Alright, sweet dreams now Shawn," she said, kissing him on the forehead.

"See you in the morning," Shawn replied, before slipping into a dreamless slumber.

Shawn awoke late into the morning, which he wasn't happy about. Sleepily stumbling around to find someone, he located his mother.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" He asked, exasperated, in a raspy tone, "I've missed my morning workout!"

"Shawn, hun, you don't look well. You need your sleep," she replied.

Shawn turned and looked in the mirror. She wasn't wrong. He saw eyes that seemed to sink into his paled face, and large purple eye bags protruding underneath. His hair lay flat on his head, echoing the lack of life he currently felt. An unhealthy flush of pink tinged his cheeks.

"I'm taking you to the doctors, I don't think you're going to be able to travel and perform the next couple of days."

"What?" Shawn said, shocked, "I don't even feel that bad, I have to perform! You can't take that away from me."

Angry tears slipped down his cheeks as he was overcome by waves of emotion.

"This is exactly why you can't Shawn, you're so run down you can barely function. Put some warm clothes on and we'll go. The earlier we get the verdict, the more time we'll have to warn people." Shawn's mother placed her hand gently on her sons shoulder, pushing his hair back from his face as she felt his forehead.

Feeling drained once again, Shawn complied with his mothers wishes. In the car to the doctors, he spoke.

"I thought that I'd been hurt before... but no ones ever left me quite this sore."

His mother sighed.

"Life moves on Shawn. Believe it or not, there are other girls out there. I know you really liked Mickey, but you're so young. You have so many places to see and things to experience, there's on use being hung up on a girl who couldn't see the beauty in you," she said comfortingly, embracing Shawn.

Tears fell for a second time that morning down Shawn's cheeks. He didn't want to admit to it being over. It just couldn't be.

The message from the doctor was as expected, Shawn was strongly advised to take a couple of days off performing to properly recover. Shortly, he was back in bed, lowkey drugged up and with a bowl of chicken noodle soup.

He took a quick picture of himself and the soup, adding the dog filter to hide his sickyness and added it to his snap story. "Feel terrible and can't perform for the next few days. So sorry, much love ♡"

His spirits lifted, Shawn snapped another picture of himself, lazily smiling. "Feeling sick. Eating soup. Missing you."

He hit send, letting it take its course to Mickey. Then he proceeded to drink the rest of his soup and fall back into dreamland, not even aware of a new notification.

Hours later, he checked his phone, shocked to see that she had replied. He clumsily clicked into the app, heart pounding in his chest. He tried to calm himself down but couldn't contain his excitement.

The snap was also a selfie, and she was smiling. Her eyes were radiant. She looked happy. "Aw. Get better xx" it read. She looked so happy. So very happy. Not at all like how Shawn felt.

It finally clicked for Shawn. Shawn and Mickey were over. She was happy without Shawn. She was happy. Without needing him. Happy.

He dropped his phone on the beside table, coming to terms with this new revelation. It was time to let it go. Let it all go. She was happy, he was not, but all he wanted was for her to be happy. If she was happy without him, then he was going to have to deal with that, because he saw the sparkle, and that's all he needed to know.

He popped a couple more pills, chasing them down with a cup of orange juice. Lying back, Shawn could still feel them on his tongue,

that aftertaste.