green ⇔ shawn mendes

Running low

Shawn soon pulled up to a quaint park.

"I used to come here all the time as a child," Mickey told Shawn.

They got out of the car and wandered aimlessly towards a pond, picking at their muffins.

"Awww, I love ducks! They're so cute," Mickey said happily.

Shawn looked at her happiness and saw the sparkle in her eyes and knew, just knew, he had to let go of her. He was obviously holding her back from going on and doing good in the world and he felt terrible he'd had such a constraint on her for so long. She'd seen other guys over summer and Shawn felt he was holding her back from potential happiness.

Shawn picked a small bit of his muffin and threw it to the nearest duck. It quacked and flew back, before waddling forwards and retrieving the food.

"Wouldn't be so strange having people just coming and throwing stuff at you and thinking they were trying to harm you, only to find out they were trying to help?" Mickey wondered aloud.

Shawn thought back to all his actions and felt terrible. Maybe he'd been treating Mickey like a duck, trying to help but her not having a clue.

"Are you okay?" Mickey asked of Shawn, no longer paying attention to the pond, "you're really quiet."

"Just thinking about ducks and all," Shawn replied absentmindedly.

Mickey looked at him strangely. "I never knew ducks were that in depth," she said, giggling.

Shawn sighed, not really in the mood for jokes. He pushed his hair back from his forehead, his hands quivering as he tried to find words to say.

"I think I owe you an apology," he said, "weeks on end I'm on the road... I start to lose my sense of home. I should've called so many time but I, I just sat next to my phone."

Mickey looked at him, waiting for more.

"Thinking back to every night, I just lay there for a while. I just kinda let it go, and I'm forever sorry for that," Shawn continued, picking at a loose thread on his shirt.

"Shawn where is this going?" Mickey asked.

"Well, I know you'll find someone who gives you the time I didn't give to you, and I guess I just have to accept that now," Shawn said, somber, finally looking up at the girl in front of him.

"Shawn-" Mickey tried to interrupt.

"Just know it takes it from me, I just needed time to, to find my own, but I promise someone will give you all you want, can give you all you need! And you just gotta see, I never meant to hurt you, no..." Shawn continued.

"Shawn," Mickey said, hurt laced through her tone, "when I looked into your eyes I, I never thought I'd say goodbye."

Shawn sat down on the nearby park bench, his head in his hands.
"I know and I'm so sorry about that! I feel like the worst person ever, just taking you on this journey when clearly I was always screwing you over and even last night I just, I just know I will never feel... you gave me something so real!" He said.

"If you're not ready for anything so soon, it's okay... I mean it can wait," Mickey offered.

"It's not that, it's that I'm holding you back from achieving all that you can! You deserve the world and I can't even make you mine," Shawn said, looking away from her again to halt the tears he could feel welling in his eyes. He couldn't understand himself. He knew he had to let go, so why was he so caught up about it? He'd been not concentrating on Mickey for so long it was like this little dose of her was wreaking havoc with his defence systems. He'd forgotten how much power she held over him.

Mickey looked at Shawn in disbelief. "I can't really believe what I'm hearing from you right now," she said.

"I know it's hard but I'm just trying to help, you can do so much better than me screwing everything up all the time. I'm such a rubbish person, I literally cannot hold down a relationship, with anyone. Always goes wrong," Shawn replied, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"I'm sorry, but I've got to go," Mickey said curtly, backing away.

"Oh. I can drop you home now then," Shawn said, quickly standing up, slight woozy, surprised she wanted to leave so soon.

"No thanks," Mickey responded, with a faint smile, "I'm just going to walk."

"Are you sure?" Shawn said, confused, "if you really need to go, it's no hassle, this will get you home quicker."

"Look I just want to be alone right now, okay?" Mickey said sharply.

Shawn understood. "Sorry," he said, "I guess I'll see you around?"

Mickey didn't reply, she just started walking away.

Shawn sat back down on the bench, his hungover headache making an appearance.

He couldn't understand how everything went from so right to so wrong, even though he was trying to fix all his mistakes. He cursed the ducks and their misleading interpretation and then he cursed himself for always screwing things up.

"Shawn Mendes? You okay dude?"

Immediately, Shawn put on his happy face and prepared to meet a fan. Only he was met with not a fan at all, but Lyall.

Shawn thought back to Laur, the prom, the photos on Mickey's phone... Lyall popped up in the middle of all his problems. Shawn's face dropped back into its previous pained position.

"What have you come to do now?!" Shawn asked, exasperated.

Lyall looked taken aback, but proceeded to sit down next to Shawn.
"What's your problem man? I just asked how you are, no need to bite my head off."

"What other part of my life have you come to ruin now? My music career?" Shawn asked bitterly.

"Shawn, bro, I thought you'd be over that by now. You know I was just jealous and hurt right? You lowkey stole my girl off me and even when I got her back she still was after you. Can't blame me for lashing out. Sorry if it cut you man," Lyall explained.

"Well you definitely got your fair share of girls, next time I'll just direct them straight to you."

"What do you mean? I'm lost Shawn." Lyall said, looking at Shawn as if he was out of his mind.

"Mickey. This summer. I saw she was with you." Shawn said, painting it out for him.

"Oh Shawn. Seriously? I live on the same street as her grandparents- I used to chill with her older brother when we were younger. I attended his funeral with my family. Please tell me you didn't flip out over that," Lyall said, shaking his head.

Shawn flushed red. He couldn't believe he overreacted that day about absolutely nothing.

"This isn't good," Shawn groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

"You'll get her back Shawndog, you always do," Lyall said, slapping him on the back.

"Nah, I've really screwed up this one aye," Shawn replied.

"Then you're going to have to make it up real good," Lyall relplied,

"Do something crazy."