Day after Day

Chapter 12: My heart is broken

A/N: *hem hem* sorry.? I guess...? Go listen to "My heart is broken by Evanscence" it will help! :3

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I have to go out for a whole month. The last move I remember myself doing was walking like a walking dead till the bathroom and falling again to my bed, burring myself into the blankets to my, now smelling bad, pyjamas that I wore that day.

That day he broke me

I am not talking either. Haymitch and Sae are barely making me eat a few slices of break every two weeks. I can hear them talking about me.

They say they are afraid I will die.

LET ME DIE THEN!!!!

I can compare myself now to how I was when Peeta was in the Capitol and I thought he was dead.

Maybe he is actually dead for me now.

Sae is begging me to open my lips and talk. But her tries are useless. I disgust myself because I became my worst enemy. I became like the person I was mad at when I was younger. I because like my mother. But I don't have children. I only affect myself. I feel myself getting weaker and weaker every day. But what does really matter?

I am afraid to stay awake because the memories of him are there to hunt me.

I can't bring myself to sleep because the nightmares are there to torture me.

Sweet sleep. My dark angel.

I sleep the most of the day. In the middle I wake up screaming.

The other half of the day, I am staring at the wall curled up into the human ball I've created.

The darkness starts to overtake me. I know.

Life seems useless.

He shouted to me. He was so cold and emotionless. He got the only thing that I had from him and throw it away like it was nothing to him.

Maybe it really is nothing to him.

But somehow it came back to me:

"Here" Haymitch says and places something with big force on my nightstand. I ignored him and he let out a grown in frustration. He doesn't want to see me like that. But sincerely FUCK THAT! When he slams the door behind him I weakly look up at the night stand to meet with the pearl glowing. A tiny smile creeps on my lips and my shaking hand trails and grab the ring. I look at it better and like it's magic, it travels me back where he gave me the pearl. Where he sat on one knee and proposed. Where he got the ring and threw it away...

I hold it as close I can now to get the less amount of comfort I can get from it. I want it to be my only company.

I hear the door opening but I don't make any attempt to look who it is. I already know.

"Here she is. She still hasn't eaten anything nor talk to anyone yet" I hear Sae saying with a worried voice. I hear the door closing and then a few footsteps closer to me.

"How you feel today sweetheart?" I hear Haymitch's voice ringing into my brain waking up some nerves of my body just shot him a glare. The weakest glare in the history of glares.

"Lost your voice again?" he asks trying to make an attempt for a joke but fail. I ignore him. He sighs and clenches his fists tightly trying to keep his temperature.

"Katniss, I am being serious now! You will starve yourself to death. You can' keep going like that!" he says and he finally meets with my eyes that are red from the tears and burning.