Day after Day

Chapter 15: Hopes

A/N: Wow, guys, 100 followers? That's insane!!! I adore you people!!! :3

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-Peeta-

The days were passing by slowly without Katniss. The only sound I had allowed myself to listen was the steady beeping of the machine Katniss was on because it meant she was still alive. It meant that her heart was still beating and that there was still hope she would come back to life. That a day I would see again those grey eyes I so much love.

Although my hopes were dying day after day. She wasn't getting any better.

Mrs. Everdeen was helping Blye around the hospital and with Katniss's situation. She told us that she can be better. That soon she will start communicate. Not with words but at least her body would work somehow more normal than it already was which was an inspiration for me.

Something is better than nothing.

However, Blye kept talking in medical language. She would always tell me that Katniss's situation was worse than most cases of coma. Her brain, heart and muscles had given up on her. Her situation was more difficult. Most cases, the victims would be able to hear what was happening around them.

Katniss could not.

And everything is my fault.

I don't even care. I don't let anything distract me. I am by Katniss's side twenty-four seven and in my intentions there is not leaving.

I left before and did not work. Now I am sticking here, with her. Till the very end.

I only hope that when she wakes up, she will still want me to be with her.

It is a selfish thought but is the best I can do so I can keep going.

"Good morning, Katniss" I mumbled and rubbed my eyes to wake up. I eat quickly what Mrs. Everdeen made for me and then sit down on the chair next to Katniss's bed. I intertwine our fingers. Her hand feels so loose against my strong grip.

"Anything new?" Blye asks while coming in the room.

Every day the same question. Every day the same answer.

"No" then her face gets more serious.

"Peeta, Katniss has been in this state for over two months" she says and I know what she wants to say. She has been telling me that for many days.

To move her to the hospitals of district four so there they can kill her or how Blye wants to state it, 'To unplug her'

"No" I repeat and shake my head. She tries to talk but I glare at her.

I know I probably look really scary due to the fact that I haven't showered or slept well for over two months. The only sun my eyes have seen is coming from the open window.

I only eat what Mrs. Everdeen is making for me or what Haymitch brings sometimes. I am not going to starve myself or try to die. When she wakes up I want to be good.

Healthy.

How she remembered me before the idiotic thing I have done.

Blye seems to have left and I am once again alone with Katniss.

Only I know what day is today.

Seventh of May.

Just one day before Katniss's twentieth birthday.

I hold her hand tightly in mine and make a silent pray to whatever power is upon us. For whatever God might exist. I prey to Him so Katniss will wake up again.

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I don't sleep that night. I keep my head buried against her bed and pretend I am sleeping. I hold her hand against my hair, trying to imagine her gentle touch when she was running her fingers through my hair.

Just like she would do to a wounded animal. Gentle but courageous with the right bit of fear, anxiety and care.

"I love you" I cry silently against the bed and pull away just slightly to bring her hand to my lips, "If... if you don't wake up by tomorrow. I will die, okay? Please wake up Katniss..." A few tears drip to her hand and I wipe them off as soon as I see them glitter.

I look at her pale cheeks and reach up to stroke her cheek.

The clock says '00:00'

It's just her birthday. I look at her and how the silver moonlight picks from the window and lights her face making her look like she is glowing. I reach up to stroke her cheek but she seems too vulnerable and breakable that I only allow myself to press my fingertips on her.

She is too precious for me to harm her again.

I whip off my tears and stand up.

"I'll be back" I whisper to Katniss's senseless body before heading out the room. For the first time since I brought her here. My muscles arch so I stretch out a little but keep going.

I walk out of the office and head to the woods with my hands buried in my pockets. Due to the fact that I haven't left that room for so long, May seems cold.

I make my way to the fence and stare into blankness for a while.

I once went inside once, but bring so many memories back. It looks horrifyingly similar to the woods of the first arena but I finally gather up my emotions and crawl under it.

I keep walking and walking and all I see is darkness, besides the moon that glows above me, giving me the little bit comfort I allow myself to have even though I do not deserve it.

I keep walking and walking and I know I have lost completely my orientation.

I am waiting for a wild animal to attack.

Where are they? Why have not they killed me yet?

"I'm here" I whisper my voice cracking up.

I am an easy prey for every animal even for a harmless squirrel.

I have no weapon skills and the little strength I had gain due to my job at the bakery is now gone.

Gone with her

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I am not sure where I have come but when I stop is because my legs are soaked. I look down at my feet that are inside a pond and rub my eyes, shake my head and hope to daze out.

The water is beginning from an unknown place and stops somewhere I do not know.

I bend down and splash the freezing water on my face making my muscles tense from the coldness. I look around me and take a deep breath. I let my feet for a while in the water before stepping out but just nearby I see something glistering in the moonlight. I walk slowly close to it and pick it up.

A knife

I clean it up in the water and place the straight surface against my palm. It's cols and I am wondering how many year it's here abandoned.

Probably before the rebellion. Maybe Katniss lost it during one of her hunting trips down here. I take the knife and walk to the closest tree. There is already a name engraved on the thick surface of the tree.

'Katniss'

My beautiful Katniss

I walk to the tree and engrave a few lines of a song I had once hard Katniss singing,

"Are you, Are you

Coming to the tree

Where the dead man called out for his love to flee

Strange things did happen here

No stranger would it be

If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree"

And that's when I let myself break down under the light of the stars