Day after Day

Chapter 13: Everywhere

A/N : Sorry for making you wait too long. I am super, duper busy!!!

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-Peeta's POV-

Haymitch's words are inside my mind for so long. I really don't know what else he told me since that day.

He comes to my house every day now. He only tells me bad news.

"I am sorry boy. She didn't eat today either."

"Today I heard her crying again."

"You have to go find her kid. She won't get any better until she sees you!"

She isn't getting any better but every day, every single day, I tell to myself: She will be alright. Today is the day she will get better!

 And every day... I am wrong.

His words are creeping on me for the next month. I was calling myself coward. I was called coward by the others too. For three whole months.

But I don't care. I know I am.

I was dreading that she might be dead until I go. I was scared, afraid, terrified.

But these are words. And words cannot really describe how I was feeling.

How I am feeling right now

I cried myself to sleep so many times the past month.

Haymitch was telling I was showing the same symptoms as her. I was refusing to eat. To sleep. To talk.

I was just listening. Listening waiting for something to light up my hopes.

But nothing good ever came into my ears.

Only bad things to make me feel even worst.

Memories of her hunting my dreams and thoughts.

I would imagine her laughing, smiling being alive. Happy. Like we used to be before my mutt version make its appearance again. And then her laughter dying in her throat and her body changing. Turning into bones and then disappearing into ash. Flying away from me. Forever.

I was waking up screaming her name on the top of my lungs. The worst? This time not even the thought of her being safe away from me could comfort me.

I need to see her. I need to apologize. I need her.

-Katniss POV-

Sae never gave up on me. For three whole months she was here, begging me to eat, talk and clean up myself but every little movement bring a big wave of pain through my whole body and at the end I give up at the attempts to live. I owe her and Haymitch so much for staying with me when everyone gave up.

When he gave up.

I can't blame Delly or anyone else for not coming to visit me. Actually, I think Haymitch and Sae telling me that they heard some people around the district talking about my absence.

I bury myself more into the blankets at the thought that people actually realized that something is wrong. I don't need people to think of me. I don't need someone to care about me anymore.

My mom called to see how I was doing.

I didn't tell her anything.

Nor about me and Peeta breaking up. Nor about my... state.

I would put Haymitch tell her I was completely fine. That I was... happy.

He refused to do it a couple of times. He said my mom has to know. That he can't lie anymore about something so important.