It Ain't The Speakers |-/ JOSHLER

14.1: yøu ran the race

JØSH'S PØV

"LEAVE ME ALONE" he screamed, tears running down his cheek. He looked back at me one last time, then jumped off the cliff, plunging into the ocean depths.

I stood there, horrified. "TYLER!" My own voice echoed into nothingness, and the only other thing I could hear was the crashing waves far below.

Something heavy dropped from my grasp, falling to the dirt beneath my feet where bunches of grass were struggling to survive. It was a gun.

I tried to run to the edge, but my legs wouldn't move. It felt like they were glued to the ground.

Not again.

Someone gripped my arms, holding me back. "It's too late, Josh..." the low voice whispered into my ear, placing a chill in my spine.

I turned to see a dark, hooded figure. His face was unclear, though he was just inches away from me. It was always like this, and I felt too weak to do anything though I knew I could. All I could do was......

With a loud thud, I fell to the ground, gasping. My heart hammered away in my chest, so hard that it was almost painful. I untangled the blanket from my legs and threw it back onto the bed.

Stupid dreams.

But I guess I was lucky enough to even fall asleep last night. I needed the rest, no matter how bad it was.

I worked with my usual morning routine, just a half an hour earlier than usual. Cereal was left on the dining table as always, and Mom had already left for work. Early mornings at home alone had become a norm since we moved here, and I hated it. I missed Jordan and Ashley, and all the sibling rivalry that came with their presence. Such fun times back in Ohio. 

7am and I was waiting for the school bus for the first time. I crashed into a tree yesterday on my way home because I wasn't paying attention, wrecking my bike. Had just felt too confused and awful about what I had done to Tyler, and couldn't concentrate on anything else.

Pretty sure it was because
your vision turned
blurry from crying...

SHUSH, whatever.

But I guess I was also partially distracted by the lights. Most of them in the trees near my house were red, making me sort of worried because it reminded me of Tracey Street. Pink and gold were a rare sight today.

Excuses.
Go blame it on Pi.

*Sigh*

I fumbled with the blue box in my hand, and took a peek at its contents for the umpteenth time. Hope he forgives me.

The bus finally arrived and I got on. People paid me no mind while I wandered to the back row, looking for a seat. Some familiar looking guy was sitting there alone with his hoodie up and ohhHhHH.

He turned slightly with a confused look, and we locked eyes for a brief moment before he diverted his attention back to the plain scenery on the other side of the window. I hesitantly took the empty seat in front of him, beside some girl with blueish hair, I think she's friends with Debby.

"Is that for Debby?" she asked softly, eyeing the blue box. I heard Tyler stir behind me.

"Uh...no." I quickly said, not wanting to bring up the topic in front of Ty. I didn't need any more misunderstandings.

I started doing random things on my phone just so I would be left alone a while. Wish I could turn around and apologize, but I was just waiting for the right place, right time.

I stood beside him during assembly, as always. He ignored me, for the first time.

I walked past him in the corridor, as always. He ignored me, for the first time.

There wasn't math today, but I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. I wasn't sure if I wanted to get ignored by him again.

Lunch break. With the blue box in hand again, I stood at a distance, watching him with Ray and Gee. He seemed so dismal in contrast to his other frens. Can't believe that I was the reason behind that frown.

Taking a deep breath, I approached them.

"Hey Josh, come sit with us," Gee said. Tyler looked up and I gazed back at him, almost ignoring the other two.

I slid my box towards him and he eyed it, gripping his lunchbox tighter. All five cookies were still in there, but no, I wasn't gonna take anything of his anytime soon, or ever, perhaps. The boxes were the same shade of blue, I realised, and I suddenly forgot what I had planned to say.

"Tyler... Please accept my token of forgiveness."

He looked away, and I left.

It's not like me to let emotions get the best of things, especially when everything is hanging in the air we breathe.

And I just can't believe it has to be this way.

But the truth is the truth. I had pointed the gun at him, without even noticing it. It wasn't just a dream. He was drowning and it was all my fault, no matter if I was sorry or not.

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I'll be overseas for the next 12 days so idk when I'll post Chapter 14.2 even tho I'm already half done whoops but hey stay awesome and happy birthday/unbirthday to everyone reading this :)