It Ain't The Speakers |-/ JOSHLER

QUIET IS VIØLENT

🎵 JØSH'S PØV 💕

I kept the beat for Tyler on the hi-hat while he played chords. It was the simplicity of the tune that really brought out the meaning behind the song. Some people might have said it felt empty, but that just means they weren't really listening.

I ponder of something great
My lungs will fill and then deflate
They fill with fire
Exhale desire
I know it's dire
My time today

Listening. To the voices in our own heads. Everyone hears something different, some say they don't hear anything at all, but they're probably not paying attention, or maybe they're blocking it out on purpose.

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

I hated silence, I don't know how many times I've said this to myself. Many times, I was left in the corner of my class while my classmates talked among themselves and seemed to ignore me. On purpose or whatever, it was these times that my mind takes over.

Sometimes quiet is violent
I find it hard to hide it
My pride is no longer inside
It's on my sleeve
My skin will scream
Reminding me of
Who I killed inside my dream
I hate this car that I'm driving
There's no hiding for me
I'm forced to deal with what I feel
There is no distraction
To mask what is real
I could pull the steering wheel

It was no longer a warm friendly voice that greeted me these days. His voice is deep and monotonous, I don't know who he is or what he wants from me, but it's like his main motive is to bring me down.

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

And the horrible part is, I know he's right, I can't run or hide. I wish he would go away.

Then maybe Pi would come back.

💞 TYLER'S PØV 🎹

It was Josh's turn, I took the chance to catch my breath while all the eyes were finally off me. I closed mine and listened... This might be the last time we play together, after all. Why can't things just stay the same?

I ponder of something terrifying
'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind
I find over the course of our human existence
One thing consists of consistence
And it's that we're all battling fear
Oh dear, I don't know if we know why we're here
Oh my, too deep
Please stop thinking
I liked it better when my car had sound

I don't like change. Maybe I'm just afraid of it, not knowing what to expect. I don't want Josh to leave... But if things didn't change in the first place and the judges had let me go solo like I had planned, I wouldn't have known Josh. Sometimes change can help, I tell myself...Sometimes.

There are things we can do
But from the things that work
There are only two
And from the two
That we choose to do
Peace will win
And fear will lose
There's faith and there's sleep
We need to pick one please because
Faith is to be awake
And to be awake is for us to think
And for us to think is to be alive
And I will try with every rhyme
To come across like I am dying
To let you know you need to try to think

It's only bad if we let it be. In my darker times, I told myself we can make change work in our favor, happen when we want it to, as long as we believe there's always a way out. I told myself that it's really up to us, based on the decisions we make, and there's really no need to be afraid of change... I've already got out of that phase, yet I still have problems trusting myself on this.

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

I still wonder if it's all worth it. Why do I have to deal with my problems and fears just to keep on living and deal with even more problems when we're all going to die in the end?

Supposedly we all have a purpose in living, and I haven't found mine yet.
Here's where my thoughts melt into a blur... I don't know...and I wish I didn't care.

Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa

...Must I figure out everything by myself? I wish God could just tell me the purpose of my existence. It's like I think I'm thinking too much and too little all at once... It just doesn't feel right. Is it right to even think this way? Maybe I should just shut up. Tyler, shut up. Shut. Up. SHUT UP.

🎵 JØSH'S PØV 💕

And then here was my favourite part of the song, where it was no longer so quiet. I felt sorry for my drumset, I think I'm venting on it.

Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa

I thought of the day he came over and the car ride. I didn't understand my own need for human interaction, was I really that hopeless without someone acknowledging my existence?

Whoa
Whoa
And now I just sit in silence
Whoa
And now I just sit in silence
Whoa
And now I just sit

Or perhaps I simply wanted to escape from myself. Was it me? The dreadful voices? Or really, just me?

Whoa
And now I just sit in silence
Whoa
And now I just sit in silence
Whoa
And now I just sit in silence
Whoa
And now I just sit

💞 TYLER'S PØV 🎹

My mind cleared up again and I felt better... But I was still afraid. We can't escape from everything.

"It's not wrong to be afraid, it's perfectly normal," I like to tell myself, but I never take myself as seriously as I hoped. Being afraid is proof that we are living, breathing things that have our own feelings and thoughts. It's just that sometimes I get too absorbed in all the unpleasant memories I wish I could forget, things I've gone through somehow when I'd rather have chosen sleep... for all the pain is only felt when we are awake.

I ponder of something great
My lungs will fill and then deflate
They fill with fire
Exhale desire
I know it's dire
My time today

I repeated the first verse again, knowing I have not been freed from the thoughts in my head holding me captive...nothing has changed.

But there's always a way out, we just have to think. Then maybe things will change... for the better.

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence