Crazy Little Thing Called Love

The End Or How I Will Never Listen To 'Love You Goodbye' Ever Again

Hi guys, I hope you're all doing well. Before I started writing this chapter I googled 'Louis Tomlinson sad' to get a good photo for the chapter and I haven't felt so bad in a while, wow. Anyway, without further ado, here is one of the most heartbreaking things I ever had to write. All the love, Summer xxx

When we returned, a familiar car stood in the drive way and I froze, immediately recognising the blue eyes starring at me from inside the car with a concerned look. "Louis." I managed to squeak quietly and then he opened the door, making my heart sink.   

....

Silently, I watched Louis climb out of his car and barely noticed the reassuring squeeze that my mum gave me before she disappeared into the house, after giving Louis a warm smile. Without saying anything, he closed his car door and then walked over to me. "Hey." he greeted me, his expression unreadable. I gulped and nervously pushed a loose strand out of my face which had been tickling my cheek. "Hi, Lou." I replied quietly, my voice hoarse and shaky. "Can we go for a walk?" he asked me and when I nodded, he walked lead the way towards the beach where he turned left and started walking along the shoreline. 

"How did you figure out where I was?" I asked him after walking next to him for a minute or two. He turned his head and his blue eyes looked down at me, making my stomach flip and unfortunately not in a good way. "Because I know you, Claire." There was a short silence before he spoke up again. "Harry called me." My head snapped up, my heart violently pounding in my chest. "He did?" I managed to squeak and he bit his lip and nodded. I lowered my gaze and let my eyes wander over the sand which seemed to stretch out forever underneath our feet. "Why did you run away like that, Claire? You could have just talked to me." I gulped and finally forced myself to look up at him. 

He stopped and reach out to intertwine our fingers. "Lou, I..." I started off, but my throat was closing up, making it unable to speak, so I closed my mouth again. "He told you that he's in love with you, didn't he?" Louis asked, bitterness and hurt evident in his tone, and I closed my eyes and nodded. When I opened them again, Louis' face was hard and his blue eyes seemed to be even more blue than usual. "Does that change anything for us, Claire?" I looked down at my feet, unable to hold his intense gaze any longer. "Claire? Look at me, love." He gently forced me to lift my chin up and my green eyes met his blue ones. "Does that change anything for us?" he repeated his question. I couldn't help myself anymore; I burst into tears and nodded.

After my nod, I expected a lot of things to happen, mostly Louis pushing me away and walking out of my life for good. What I didn't expect was that he immediately pulled me into a tight hug and just held me close to his chest. "Shhhh, Claire, calm down." I took a few shaky breaths and pulled away from him, just enough so that I could look him in the eyes. "I am so sorry, Lou. I am probably the worst girlfriend in the world. You have been nothing but kind and loving and supportive and just in general so much more than I ever deserve. And here I am, breaking up with you because I am not sure if I have feelings for your best friend." Tears were streaming down my face and even Louis had tears in his eyes. "I really do love you, Louis, but I am just not in love with you. You are this amazing person who deserves so much more than someone like me. I am so sorry, Lou, I am so sorry." I broke down again and he pulled me back against his chest, gently swaying us from one side to another.

"Shhh, Claire, it's okay. It's okay." he tried to soothe me, but that only made me feel even worse. Here I was breaking up with him and he was the one trying to make me feel better. "No, it's not okay!" I wailed and furiously glared up at him. "How the fuck are you so perfect? I am BREAKING UP WITH YOU, for fuck's sake and here you are making ME  feel better!" I hiccuped and he chuckled a bit and gently wiped my cheeks with his sleeve. Then he carefully cupped my face with his hands and forced me to look him in the eyes. "Claire, hey, listen, love. Please stop feeling so guilty. Does this hurt? Yes, I feel like someone just reached down my throat and pulled my heart out, but Claire, hey, listen to me!" I let out a shaky breath and tried to ignore the massive amount of guilt which was making me struggle to breathe. 

"I hate to admit this, but you and Harry have shared a special connection from the start. I never wanted to see it because you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met and the second girl I have ever loved, but it was there right from the start. You guys just clicked, but I was too selfish to let you go without a fight. And Harry being Harry, would of course never do anything to sabotage our relationship so I knew that if I would be just quick enough I would have you all to myself." He gave me a weak smile and his thumb gently caressed my tear-stained cheek. "I was selfish and stupid and now I am paying the price. Being able to call you mine was one of the best things that has ever happened to me, Claire. And even though our relationship wasn't meant to last, I still would do it all over again if I had the chance even if it means getting my heart broken on a beach by you all over again." 

He looked down at me and for the first time ever he let me see him cry. My heart felt like someone was crushing it underneath their feet and all I wanted was to make him feel better, but I couldn't and that was the part that hurt the most. "You are not selfish, Lou." I told him quietly, but he shook his head. "Yes, yes, I am. But selfishness, for once in my life, made me the luckiest man in the world, even if it was just for a couple of weeks." He smiled down at me. It was a sad smile, but it gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, he could be happy again one day with someone else. "Lou, I won't allow you take the full responsibility for this. This is just as much my fault, as it is yours, if not even more my fault than yours. I was attracted to you from the start and I still am and you turned out to not only be insanely attractive, but also this great, funny and loving guy. I have no idea how I even deserved someone so amazing like you in my life and I probably will never understand it." He opened his mouth to say something, but I gently placed a finger over his lips. 

"Harry was an amazing friend to me right from the start but I never allowed myself to feel anything else for him because I was with you and I was happy with you. Even when people kept bringing up how much we acted like a couple, I still tried to push anything I felt for him that wasn't friendship aside. I never wanted this to happen, Lou. I still don't know how I feel about Harry, but I do know that it would be unfair to us, unfair to you, to be in a relationship with you if I am even considering the fact that Harry and I could work out in some way. I am so sorry, Louis." I whispered and gently placed a hand over his hand which was resting on my cheek. "I am sorry, too." he whispered back. 

We stared at each other for a moment, before I leaned in and our lips met for a final kiss. The kiss was very sweet and one of the best we had shared up to this point, full of all the things we hadn't said. When we pulled away, we were both crying. "I think I'm gonna go now." Louis said hoarsely and I nodded and slowly let my hands sink, as he took a step back. "I will miss you, Claire." I gave him a weak smile. "I will miss you, too, Lou." Wiping my cheeks with my sleeve, I nearly missed what he said next. "I think I need some time to myself, but I would love it if we could stay friends somehow. I don't want to lose you over this, Claire." He sounded just as heartbroken as I felt. "I don't want to lose you, either, Lou." I assured him and he gave me a sad smile and raised his hand, before he turned around and started walking back towards the house, leaving me alone at the beach with only the waves and my thoughts to keep my company.

A.N. Okay, I thought writing the funeral was the worst part to write, but this chapter just left me crying into my tea, so I am sorry if I made anyone else shed a tear or two, as well. As an author who loves her characters, this was incredibly difficult to write because I didn't want to see any of them hurt. I added 'Love You Goodbye' at the top, not because they love each other goodbye, but because most of the lyrics seemed to fit the chapter really well and it's a beautiful song. Listening to it after finishing this chapter made me feel even worse, but I am now on a mission to give Louis a happy ending with someone else, no matter what, so maybe it did do some good... :D Thank you for reading my story! xx