Eyes On Me

Chapter 11

Selena Pov

It was Sunday afternoon and I was sitting on the stool at the island in the middle of the kitchen with a cup of coffee between my hands thinking about yesterday, I can't believe I had my first orgasm. Before knowing Justin orgasms were just dirty things couples did to pleasure each other but with him I felt it was more than that, I felt closer to him I felt a deep connection 

I should feel disgusted but I'm not, It felt so good I'd do it again and again and what worries me the most is that I want to pleasure him too, I want to see his face scrunch from pleasure and I'm dying to know what he tastes like 

The Selena before Justin would never think about sexual things, the Selena before Justin would never think about going near a dick, I don't know what happened in me when he came into my life but he changed everything 

Maybe because he's older I want to show him i'm not just a little girl, I want to show him i'm better than all his hoes, that i'm better than Hailey 

Or maybe i'm just afraid to lose him that I'd do anything to keep him with me, I don't want him to find someone better because I could never find someone better than him, he makes me feel protected, he makes me feel loved, he treats me like a princess and I don't even know if I deserve him 

If I deserve this fairy tale

I never had something so good in my life and now that I have it I never want it to go away. I'm inexperienced with relationships, I'm inexperienced basically with everything human related and i'm scared to do something wrong and ruin everything 

The worst thing is I have no one to talk about it. Mark doesn't talk much to me since I'm with Justin, Liz is the only girl I know at school but I don't know if I can't trust her yet and my mom, I can't talk to her about this without telling her it's our neighbor or her starting to investigate and finding out it's an older boy, I don't know if she would be happy 

My phone vibrated snapping me out of my toughts, I knew it was Justin because I asked him twenty minutes ago what he was doing since I didn't have school and I wanted to be with him 

With Fredo 

I furrowed my eyebrows reading that text, he took twenty minutes to text me he was with Fredo, in the past days that's all he was saying when he wans't with me "I'm with Fredo"

I didn't want to be like those overprotective girlfriends I heard about that didn't trust their boyfriends and had to stalk them to find the truth so I just let it slip, again 

But I couldn't help and feel a little insecure about myself and if he felt the same way about us, Was I falling for him too fast and too deep? Was he playing with me because I was too naive and crazy about him I'd do anything for him? 

Just as my mind was full of questions and doubts I got another text from him that made all those questions vanish 

I can't wait to see you Angel, I miss you 

No, he could never do that to me. I had to trust him 

I miss you too 

I replied to his text smiling "You're always smiling these days" My mom said stanging at the kitchen's door

"I guess" I shrugged sipping my coffee 

"I know something that will make you happier" 

"What?" I asked excited 

"Someone is turning eighteen soon and her Dad is coming to see her" 

"No way, are you serious?" I jumped from the stool I was sitting on and ran to hug my mom "Dad is coming for my birthday?"