Disappear: Into Shadow

- CHAPTER TEN -

Streaming through dusty, ivy wreathed windows sunlight warmed a university library's reading room. Deep oak panels lined the room, a stag's head rested with ceremony above the great grey stone fireplace. Under the heavy Tudor timbers of the ceiling, handfuls of graduate students are hunched about their study tables.

In a reading chair by the fireplace, an old man leant over a large tome. His brown tweed suit was rumpled and worn. Thin, wire framed, half moon glasses perched on the tip of his nose as his fingers traced along the lines of text. He mumbled indecipherable words as he read.

Sitting in a nearby corner, Camael watched Professor Edward Blake. Listening to his thoughts, Camael heard the old man rediscovering Alexandria, the Egyptian city of knowledge founded by Alexander the Great.

A regular patron of the reading room, Camael did not return simply to hear the thoughts of those studying, but for its architecture. The blackened oak inside, the exterior's ivy, the high ceilings and wood panelled walls. Each reminded him of the interior of a long gone highland castle. In the late Middle Ages he had once fallen in love. Even the large stag head was similar to the one hung over that great home's fireplace.

It was the daughter of the castle's lord who had stolen his heart. Beautiful, gracious and strong, she had almost drawn him into temptation. Camael spent night after night watching her as she slept. They spoke to each other in her dreams. They became lovers in her dreams, but never in the walking world. Watchers who crossed that forbidden line before had been cast into Hell for their sin.

We've been cast into Hell for far less, Camael reminded himself.

Though he never gave into temptation, she as became obsessed with him as he with her. She refused offers of marriage, instead choosing to take sleeping draughts. Spending more of her time asleep and with Camael, in a sense together they were destroying her life. Camael knew he was abusing his position and his duties, but what could he do? As much as he loved her, even though he guarded her, he could not stop himself. Neither could he prevent her fate.

One night, a rival clan leader whom the Lord had feuded with came to the castle with his men, setting it ablaze. After taking a powerful draught that night, Camael's love would not wake. Despite the alarms, the smoke and the fire, she burned.

As flames licked their way along the oak beams, her bed became engulfed by the burning timbers of the castle. Camael would have intervened had it not been for the appearance of Azrael and Ozah. When her sheets began to smoke and curl with fire, they came. Reminding him, despite what he believed he felt for her, an Angel was forbidden to interfere in the actions of the world. Ozah had lost the family he had taken on the world, and Camael knew the truth in his pain.

Camael he knew better than most about death, fury and destruction. After all, he had been a destroyer of cities in his time. The consequences did not justify the actions. He was in love with her present incarnation, which was mortal and would die anyways. He must watch her die, he had no choice.

If he had stepped in, the Heavens would have chased him to the ends of the world. Bound and cast into Hell, he would have followed the many others who gave into their temptations before him.

That would have been very disappointing, Camael told himself.

Though he personally escorted her to Heaven when she passed, Camael refused to watch over her again. He was ashamed. It hurt too much and he could never risk losing himself again.