I Hate That I Love You (JeffxJane)

7 Things I Hate About You

We all probably know this song by Miley Cyrus. Don't quote me on this but I believe the song is about a  girl who falls in love with a boy. The boy shows different sides, a typical bad boy one (flirty, indifferent, egotistical) and a genuine guy that loves her and shows lots of affection.

Sooo since I really like that song, why not make a Janeffrey oneshot about it?
Enjoy ^_^

(Jane's POV)

I dropped to my knees, feet aching from all the running. Hot tears hitting my clothes but I didn't mind. I weaped and mourned, in front of my parents grave. I faced them in shame. Ashamed of my self... guilt burning inside my soul.

And here comes the rain again, I'm soaking wet and drenched in pain. My body left to drown enveloped in the swarming cold of the storm.

Drowning in hatred
drowning in loneliness,
drowning in betrayal,
drowning in tears,
drowning in confusion.

I hate crying.... but I definitely hate you more.

There's just so many things I hate about you, I don't even know where to start.

1. The fact that you keep bragging of how beautiful you look.

With your white bleached leathery skin, bloody red smile and dark burnt circles around your eyes.

The features that haunt my dreams.

2. The little mind games you keep making me play.

Puzzles, hints and patterns you want me to follow. You left them only for me to find because only I can solve them.

After all, I'm just a playmate to you.

3. The secrets you keep of how you don't want to kill me.

You hesitate and give me the 'I won't have anyone else to play with after you're dead' reason whenever I catch you.
You never felt secure about my safety so you secretly stalk me to make sure. And you protect me from possible threats.

Which is ironic since you're the only real threat to my life.

4. The way you comfort me at the times I'm depressed. You offer your shoulder for me to lean and cry on.

Then you'd tell me a joke and I end up laughing of how bad it was. Instead of the emotionless cold hearted b*tch you always see in front of you, you'd see a broken crying lonely little girl.

You easily break the walls I keep building.

5. The oblivious mind you have. Never noticing that you can comfort me and make me laugh.

Even if you're the reason for the sorrow I felt in the first place.

6. The actions you do that would always leave me confused.

You tell me that you care and that you love me. And yet I keep finding you with another girl after.

You're just never able to make up you're mind. I confront you about it all, you'll apologize and promise to never hurt me again.

But you still and always will.

7. The one thing that I resent the most that you do...

You keep making me love you.

Even though the innocent boy I once loved is now gone in a shell of a murderous maniac.

The feelings I had wouldn't go away.

And my consequence?

Having my heart broken over and over again.

Left alone in misery with no one else to ask for comfort.

I should've known you were this way. I knew you wouldn't care.

You never truly did.

After all, I'm just an average every day girl to you. I'm not special and I'm definitely not worth caring about.

I'm nothing to you.

You never cared about anything else but yourself. You think love is just some mind game you can play.

And I'm just another toy.

Everything nice you did, the kindness you showed, he sweet words you'd tell me. It was all just an act.

They're all just lies to take advantage of my messed up, vulnerable head.

You're nothing but a self centered f*ckboy who toys with girls feelings. You kill people for the sake of seeing their suffering from the pain. You laugh at the thought of their terrified expressions as you inform them of killing their loved ones.

You're a f*cked up man who's done f*cked up things.

But you know what? I did things that are even worse.

I wasted my life in search of you.

I went insane and kill your victims just for the sake of pissing you off.

I tried to do everything for my revenge.

And despite all that.

I learned to forgive you.

I started to trust you.

I thought you actually cared for me.....

I thought we were.....

Damn it!! I fell for you. And I fell hard.

And now, I feel betrayed, forgotten and left behind.

I betrayed my own vow. I left it all and for what?! To be treated like the worthless f*ck that I am...

F*ck it all! And Screw you! And this feeling? The worst thing I could of done? Is the PIECE OF SH*T that I call my heart's fault.

I mean what did I expect? That you're cold blooded heart became warm because of me? That I can somehow change that messed up brain of yours? That maybe... just maybe, there's still traces of the old Jeff I loved and held dear.

You'll never change back... and I just couldn't accept it.

And I still won't.

Not when I still remember what I love about you.

The cold shivering breeze now blocked by warm thick fabric covering my shivering body.

I knew this hoodie anywhere.

You didn't say a word as you gingerly pick me up and take me back home. I stare up at the sky and remind myself of my interrupted thoughts.

1. Your icy blue eyes shone with the same warmth.

2. Your unruly black hair that actually suits you.

3. Your white hoody I gave that you never wanted to take off.

4. Your kisses that will always take me to cloud nine.

5. Your comforting gestures that keep me whole.

6. Your fingers that intertwined with my own. It's grip never wanting to let go.

7. And the one thing you do that will always make me stay.....

Is that I'll still love you no matter what.

You dry me up and gave me new clothes. You cover me with mountains of blankets to keep me warm.

Your body laid next to my embraced figure.

You kiss my forehead and bid me good night.

No more hatred.
No more loneliness.
No more betrayal.
No more tears.
No more confusion

I guess I'll have to bear with both loving and hating you.