Do you even know?

It's Becoming Reality

It's senior. Well more like the middle of it. Everything is about to go one way or another for me. All my hard work will show for what I have to offer. My first audition is for all state band and it's kinda freaking me out. Why? Mainly because I don't want to disappoint my band director. I don't want to see how bad things go. I don't want to fail. It's as simple as that I guess. But there's more. I worry about college. What if no one accepts me? What if I can't pay and have to stop going? What if I'm not good enough to break away from my family's life style? It's scary. Really scary. These past four years have been amazing, and I couldn't of gone to a better school. It might be a private catholic school, but it was the best place for me. The teachers have all been so supportive. They have all been really caring and don't just brush off the students like they can at other schools. The band has been like a second family to me. I've met some amazing people though it. The religious teachings have been helpful for learning how to defend myself and understand the religion that is seen as the most judgmental in America by my generation, even though, I myself am not religious. 

But everything is still so scary, it's all happening so fast. Everytime I blink another thing needs to be done, or it's time to talk to another college rep. I will say though, I'll be relieved when I know that I am accepted to at least one college even if it's not the one's I want to go to.