Do you even know?

I miss my person

I miss my person
After an amazing night I realize how much I've missed my person. Their smile. Their laugh. Their desire to be closer to me. I've missed this person and now regret the long silence between us. The good times echo in my mind. The bad stay in the back. Hidden but still remembered. The one night after many moons of separation remind me that they are still mine. In what way? A way that isn't romantic but rather a way that is enlightening. Yes, while romance blossoms between us as we are close together, kisses exchanged, I want more. I want more time together. Nights that are unforgettable and cannot be described by words. But a thought popped in my head on this beautiful night. Are they my true person? My true other half? Possible. But only time may tell. We are connected at the heart but separated by the mind. We are going through life on our own paths but they keep crossing. Many people dislike our ups and downs. They tell me this person is not my person. That they are not my one to be. And they may be right but there's also the possibility of them being wrong. And I pray to the gods of wisdom that they are mistaken and cannot see what will become. That these years I've given to them are not a mistake. But rather a story to be told to our friends. A story to be remembered and told showing light in darkness.
Some call it abuse. Others call it manipulation. But I have been used and abused and controlled way too many times. Making me understand what real treachery looks like. What it really looks like from the inside to be controlled and lied to.
People who have called my person unhealthy don't realize the person within. People who are displeased at my desire for this person never got to know how amazing they are. They see what I let them see. And this is my fault. They see the dark times I've came to share but never the light that consumes most of our times. While we have meaningless back and forth a of random exchanges of trends to ease our own boredom, we also talk about the real issues and real feelings within. Me and my person are not just fun and games but also passion and love. Romantic? I wouldn't call it that. But I know that this person will forever be in my mind.
Over the many sun cycles of silence, their presence has never left my mind. When I'm feeling down I remember the bad time, how ever few there were. When I'm happy I remember the amazing person I've seen since day one and have seen grow, even if it's not seen by others. Their inability to tell me how they feel show that they cannot put it into words. Even if they find another they will always be a part of me. I just wish them happiness. Whether with me or another. I will support their growth and spirit as long as I am able to remain in their mind. No long gap of silence will ever change that. If they move on and forget my name, I hope they will forever remember our good times. Ones that I swore saved my life.
If they read this and know it's them I hope they don't feel remorse for their actions but are rather happy that we were together and how much I wish for their fortune in their future.
Again whether I am a part of it or not I will always remember. Never forget. I will wish them the best and send them good energy as that's all I can do when we are apart.
To my person reading this. I believe you are amazing. Do not be angry, for your feelings and desires are valid. You are human and will fall. But you can knock off the dust and keep going on. Passing by the people who laugh at you and eventually hold your head high again as you are meant to. These next few years will be difficult but you will come out on top if you just keep going and remember you are loved. You are loved by me if no other living, breathing life. I will never let you fall but when you do I will reach out to help you to your feet. I will protect you as I protect my own. You are my own and have been since day one in that photo taking free period known as a class. I still keep those pictures and when I revisit them I smile knowing nothing has changed other then our situations. I will never leave you behind if I begin rising towards the stars and will hold you tightly upon my own personal cloud of success. I know if you find success and I find failure that you would do the same no matter how silently.
I now feel like I no longer need to search blindly as I have due to my own loneliness, going from person to person trying to find that connections as I believe I found it years ago,unaware of this fact.
I've struggled and fallen alone because I have turned you away time and time again. But I never want to let go of your hand.
As our hearts are connected, our minds are separated but I hope one day they will live in harmony. Happy for each others company and excited for what the future holds.