The End of Your Song

Chapter 10 - Wavering Heart

"Guess who", pabulong kong tanong nang tinakpan ko ang mga mata ni Matthew.  He's wearing a gray sweatshirt, his back on me, nakaupo siya sa may terrace overlooking the Taal Lake.  I got up earlier than my other friends, medyo late na kami natapos sa kuwentuhan kagabi.

I know that Matthew is an early riser, and when I saw him from the bedroom window, watching the magnificent view, I went to greet him good morning.  I immediately made myself decent, toothbrush muna, then hilamos lang at suklay, change to a warmer clothing dahil may konti pang fog outside.  Nakikita na naman niya akong bagong gising when he comes to our house on Sunday mornings para mag-simba kami together.  There were times when I'm still asleep pagdating niya dahil he's earlier than our agreed time, so sanay na siya sa bagong-gising look ko.

"I don't think it's me you want", biglang bawi ko ng kamay ko, daig ko pa ang nakuryente.  It's not Matthew, it's Lance, hindi naman niya hinawakan ang kamay ko when he replied to me, pero para pa din akong napaso.  Nabigla lang ako sa boses, at saka sa pagka-pahiya, arte mo kasi, sabi ko sa sarili ko, pa-guess-who-guess-who ka pa.

"Sorry, akala ko si Matthew, magka-mukha kasi kayo...ng likod", wala na akong magagawa sa namumula kong mukha.  Buti naka-ngiti naman si Lance nang lingunin ako, "maputi si Tito sa akin".  "May parang ganyan ding sweatshirt ang Tito mo", lie, di ko naman nare-remember ang mga sweatshirts ni Matthew, saka he's more of a jacket person.  Honestly, hindi ko sinadya ha, I was mistaken.  Well, you can't blame me, they have the same effect on me...

"Kamukha ko ang likod ni Tito?, that's funny", tipid niyang ngiti.  There goes that intense gaze again, this is exactly the reason why I can't totally figure him out.  Yung mga titig niya will make you feel conscious, you will wonder what he is seeing in you.

"Actually, pare-pareho kayong magti-tito kapag nakatalikod, di agad ma-a-identify kung sino ang sino", that's a fact I'm saying.  "Hindi ko naman mapagkaka-malian si Stephen, or si Jasper, iba naman ang tindig nila kesa sa inyo", mabilis kong pagpa-paliwanag.  "Tulog pa ba si Matthew?"

"Naliligo na, kahit maginaw, para daw pag magising ka na, ready na siya to face you", is that a twinkle in  your eyes I'm seeing?  Marunong ka naman palang magbiro?   I sat on the chair, I consciously left a vacant chair between us".

"Good for him, kaya niyang maligo ng ganito ka-aga.  Naninigas pa nga ang mga tuhod ko sa lamig", I stretched my legs on the other chair, I was wearing jogging pants and a sneakers (wala naman akong intensyon na mag-jogging, so okay na yung sneakers ko).  I looked into the lake, a bit farther, you can see some part of the volcano, but most is still covered by the fog.

"Tulog pa ang mga boys?", tanong ko sa kanya, I kept my eyes on the view.  "Si Jasper, parang nakita ko, magja-jogging ata, si Stephen di ko pa nakita, si Pat, nagja-jogging sa kama", aren't you in a joker mood this morning?, di ka naman pala ganung ka-intense, except your eyes, of course. I laughed at his attempt to be funny.

"What about the girls?", tanong niya, I glanced at him but he's also looking into the lake.  I guess it's okay not to look at each other, the view here is definitely post-card perfect, mas deserving ng atensyon namin.  "Ayun, tumba pa lahat, pa-puyatan ang chicka-han, alam mo naman ang mga girls",

"Yeah, I have two sisters, ang tagal din nilang mag-kwentuhang dalawa, pero mas matagal pa silang makipag-kwentuhan sa mga friends nila sa phone.  One time, they even fought 'cause the other one is taking too long, di makasingit iyong isa.  Ginawa ni Mom, hinugot ang linya ng phone, tiis silang walang landline for weeks", he looks relaxed and enjoying his anecdote.  I laughed, I can relate to his sisters, for me din kasi, the landline is a lifeline.

May dumaang anghel, ang tagal naming tahimik pareho.  Napahikab ako.  "Ina-antok ka pa?, magbalik- tulog ka kaya muna", this time, on my peripheral vision, I saw him glanced at me.  "Hihintayin ko na lang si Matthew, is he coming?", I looked at him quickly.  This time, he didn't look back at the scenery, his eyes onto me.  "Yeah, matatapos na siguro yun.  Saka pag nakita ka niyang nasa labas na, pupunta agad yun dito.  He loves to spend every moment with you".