The End of Your Song

Chapter 16 - The Tragedy of My Heart

"He sent me to get you, made me promised na tatapusin mo muna ang ceremony", walang tigil sa pagsasalita si Patrick, he seems confused. Pareho kami, some of his words came to me, the rest, parang dumaan lang, walang saysay. "We promised him, we will march sa graduation...on and off ang consciousness niya", on the verge of hysteria na ba si Pat? Hindi ba niya alam that Matthew will be okay.

"Patrick, it's okay, kalma ka lang muna, we will be there soon", kina-kausap siya ni Kuya Alex, nasa likuran namin siya. Pina-upo ako ni Kuya sa tabi niya, nakakatawa, Mommy buckled me up like I'm a little girl, I can't remember if she has ever done that for me. Nagpa-iwan sila ni Lola, magta-taxi na lang daw sila, susunod sa hospital, hahanapin lang nila sina Mandie. Hindi na kami nakapagpa-picture, asan na nga ba sila?

"Patrick, take care of her, magpa-park lang ako", bilin ni Kuya kay Pat. Pareho sila ni Matthew, tower of fortitude, and they always make sure I'm taken care of. I'm going to Matthew, Pat is leading me to him. Somebody hugged me, she's crying, si Ate Marie, mommy ni Lance? Mali, mommy ni Patrick, what's happening to me?, nalilito pa din ako sa names and faces nila samantalang nakakasama ko naman sila.

Ang bilis lang ni Kuya, naka-park agad?, sabi niya palagi daw pahirapan mag-park sa mga hospitals, hindi naman pala. "Nasa loob siya, kasama si Lance, minsan magigising tapos hinahanap kami. Tinatawag na lang ni Lance kung sino ang hinahanap niya", si Kuya Jem, he looks like Matthew, no si Lance ang kamukha niya, syempre anak nya yun. "It's not helpful kapag madami siyang nakikita, he gets confused. Pero kanina ka pa niya hinihintay", is that pity or grief on your face Kuya Jem?

"Dito lang ako sa labas, go inside, I'll wait here", Kuya Alex wiped something from my eyes, umiiyak ba ko? It's an agony to walk towards Matthew, did he get hurt because he was in a hurry to get to me?, is it my fault he had an accident?

I opened the door quietly, I don't want to wake him kung nagpa-pahinga siya, he needs rest, to recover. Nakasubsob ang ulo ni Lance sa mga braso niya, I can't see his face, he didn't see me coming either. "Lance", that was an agonizing sound, si Matthew ba iyon? Bakit parang he's in too much pain? "Andito lang ako Tito", he looked up to his Tito, he's crying.

"Si Ashley...make sure she's okay... promise me", even in pain, ako pa din ang iniisip niya. Marahang idinantay ni Lance ang kamay sa braso ng tito niya, "I promise". Napa-gawi sa akin ang tingin ni Lance, "andito na si Ashley, Tito", he said softly, like any kind of noise will add to Matthew's agony.

Lumapit ako sa kanila, Lance moved towards the door, he's leaving us alone. Umupo ako sa iniwan niyang upuan, to be closer to Matthew. All those emotions I've been trying to hold flooded into me, like a dam being opened. I tried to swallow the pain, para kasing gustong kumawala ng anumang nagpa-pasakit sa puso ko ngayon.

Matthew looks so vulnerable right now, a bandage is wrapped around his head, his face is swollen, I can barely see his smile when he saw me. "Hi beautiful", he's trying to liven up his voice. I hate these tears, it's blurring my vision, I need to see every bit of him. "Hi", I choked a sob, he doesn't need to see me suffering when he's in so much pain like this.

"Did you march?", yung effort ng pagsasalita, parang lalo siyang nahihirapan. "I did", I tried to smile, he needs to see something positive. "Can I see your dress?", he's smiling, there's still some fight in his eyes, I know this man will not give up that easily. Tumayo ako, umikot, he wanted to see my dress. Isn't it nice Matthew?, you should have seen me earlier, when I was all made up. I wanted to tell him that, but it might be too much for him now. He grimaced.

"What is it?, may masakit ba?", I leaned closer to him. "It's my head...sorry, I wasn't too careful", he's struggling to talk now. "Shhh, it's okay, reserve your strength", bulong ko sa kanya. I kissed him lightly on his lips, afraid to cause him more pain. He smiled sweetly, "I love you". "I love you", I whispered to him.