Bleed Me Dry

Landslide

"Well I've been afraid of changin cause I built my life around you. But time made you bolder even children get older, Oh, I'm getting older too." Landslide, Fleetwood Mac.

Andie

I open my eyes to see that I'm sandwiched between Millie and Gia. I surprisingly feel much better than I did last night. It was my breaking moment but now I am going to put myself back together. I attempt to squeeze myself free but it hard to release yourself from a pregnant woman. I'm forced to lay in bed and go through my head. I was still attached to Vincent without realizing it, I was constantly afraid of him finding me and to cope I took it out on my body. One day I know my scars will heal, one day I'll be normal again. I am going to change starting today. No more being afraid I am removing every part of Vincent and the life I built around him from my heart.

Millie wakes up next, this is the first time in months she has slept through the night without having an episode from her chemo. A small part of me hopes she's getting better but I know it would be impossible. Millie's cancer is currently in it's prime, it grows and grows through Millie's veins making every part of her body hurt.

"How are you feeling?" she asks me.

I tell her, "I'm feeling much better" and that "her health is much more important."

She of course shrugs it off but when Gia wakes up suddenly with morning sickness both of our attention goes to her.

"I'm fine guys. It's just morning sickness," Gia says trying to be tough. Millie and I are a lot better at admitting to pain than Gia.

"Gia do you miss Tanner?" I ask her after she's done puking.

She gives me a look that tells me she doesn't want to answer but she does anyway, "I do, but I just can be around him right now. It's just too hard for me."

"Because you're scared of him leaving?" Millie questions.

"Truth be told I'm scared that if something goes wrong I won't know how what to if we climb this mountain and decide we want to turn around. I'm afraid he'll hurt me and I won't know how to change my life back," Gia states.

I know Gia doesn't mean to but it hurts to hear her say this. Vincent and I's broken marriage has scared Gia from the thought of it. Her fear isn't just affecting her it's affecting both her and Tanner, "Gi you can't let my issues affect your life. 9 times out of 10 it doesn't happen the way it did for Vincent and I."

"I know, I know."

"Guys something hurts," Millie cries out from the kitchen.

Gia and I both run as fast as we can to come help her. With Millie we can't take any moment for granted so we have to be on constant lookout for her. The one time Gia and I leave her alone she is in pain.

We get to the kitchen and Millie is screaming on the floor, "Help, help please make it stop."

Gia calls Millie's doctor while I help her get to the bed and give her some of her pain meds.

"Dr. Gell said the pain increase is normal and that unfortunately things are only going to get worse. He thinks it's time to get out the wheelchair," Gia tells us as she comes in the room.

"I guess he's right," Millie sighs.

"Mil it's for the best," I try to console her. Millie's pain makes mine greater, I hate the thought of her not being here.

Between Gia and her reluctance to love and Millie and her extreme pain I know it's important that I put aside my own feelings, for the good of my friends.

"I thought I was getting better," Millie somberly says.

"The wheelchair won't be so bad Millie. Besides, you're a fighter, we're all fighters and were all going to push through this together. The longer we're together the stronger we'll be. That's why we met each other to help the other fight their battles. We are the strongest people out there," I tell my friends desperately trying to believe my own words.