Bleed Me Dry

Drunken Mistakes and Wannabe Memories

"If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never ends." Wannabe, Spice Girls.

Gia

I don't know why I'm getting myself into this, I'm supposed to be a loner. Friends are for children, I am an adult. I tell myself I'm only doing this for work purposes. Deep down I know it's because I need the support. I'm 8 weeks pregnant and I haven't even told Tanner he's the father. I have no parents or siblings to run to so naturally I'm reaching out for some sort of support system. But I barely know Andie and Millie, they could be complete psychopaths. From the little bit of conversation I've had with Andie I wouldn't be surprising if she was.

I put on a very casual outfit. It's just Mexican food and I don't want them to see my slightly protruding belly. It's getting harder to hide it, I was hoping to be one of those women that barely gets a bump but it's clear that I'm not going to be. At two months I'm already struggling to look like I haven't put on weight.

I'm the first one at the restaurant. It looks pretty nice and fairly lowkey. I know alcohol is common at these types of restaurants so I'm just going to tell them I'm a lightweight and it's too dangerous for me. I wish I could drink just to take the edge off but I won't jeopardize my baby's health for one drink. It's hard for me to believe the intense love I already have for this baby. I never want it to get hurt. Most women would have just taken the easy way out of this situation and aborted it. I never believed in abortion and I'm not going to start after I got myself knocked up.

Millie and Andie come in at the same time, both of them were dressed casual so I don't feel bad about the way I dressed. We make small talk like typical work friends. Somehow it doesn't feel like just friends from work having a conversation. I'm not the type of person who feels deep connections with people. I don't like to make up that fluffy love and friendship shit but talking to these two girls I can feel something. Like we all need each other to stay afloat. I can tell they both have hurt before just like I have. I decide to order some drinks, maybe it will help us get to the bottom of this.

"Waiter um can we have to some shots please?" I ask the waiter passing by.

"Si Senorita," she says.

Both Millie and Andie look unsure. Andie looks excited but I can tell she hasn't been drunk in awhile. Millie just looks upset. I know I won't be drinking but watching them get drunk will be fun. The waiter comes back with the shots and both of them grab one.

"Aren't you going to take one?" asks Andie.

"I can't I'm kind of a lightweight. But I don't want you all to miss out on all the fun," I say.

"I haven't had a drink in years," Millie says quietly.

"Me neither!" Andie exclaim.

"Well all the more reason you should take some," I tell them excited to see where this will go.

20 minutes later they are both wasted. Neither of them have really give me what I want but the mood is definitely lighten. We keep laughing at everything. Even though I'm not drunk on tequila I'm drunk on the happiness I can't remember the last time I laughed like this. I know I'll have them home with me. They're both too drunk to go home. Part of me thinks I got them drunk just so I wouldn't have to be alone tonight. I put them in the cab and we get on our way. Most people would dread taking care of two drunk they barely know but for the first time in forever I'm going home knowing I'm still going to like the people I stay with in the morning.

When I get them into my house I put them in my own clothes. I look at them and I know that this will hurt me more when they abandon me like everybody always does. So I close my eyes and remember the moment, pretending they will never leave.