Bleed Me Dry

Black and Blue

"Could be high enough to fly. But not low enough to land, no map to show you where to go no fool-proof plan. You can look people in the eye, tell em where to stand, but when it all comes down we're all black and blue." Black and Blue, Carlie de Boer.

Andie

The pain from my hangover is the worst I've ever had. I don't regret getting drunk last night, I can't remember the last time I hung out with friends without Vincent breathing down my back. Millie and Gia are curled up in bed beside me. It's funny how I barely know these people but I don't feel uncomfortable sleeping so close to them. I stare at them for a minute watching them sleep. I'm not trying be a stalker I'm just taking in this moment while it still lasts.

Millie jumps up alert sweating with pain in her eyes. For a second I think she had a bad dream but she's shaking uncontrollably and hasn't recognized that I'm here yet.

"Millie, Millie are you okay?" I ask her. I feel tears welling up in my eyes seeing her like this it reminds me of those nights where I was so scared of Vincent I woke up and thought I would die. Millie's antics wake Gia up and she looks at me with the same fear in her eyes.

"Go away please Andie. Go away. I can't do this in front of you, not now please not now," she stutters to me. She's crying now too.

"Millie do I need to call 911?" Gia says embracing her in her arms.

"No this is supposed to happen. Why was I so stupid I knew this would happen, why was so stupid," Millie repeats over and over.

"Millie you have to tell us what's happening!" I raise my voice out of worry.

"I-I I'm really sick," she said sobbing now.

"What kind of sick Millie," Gia says. We're all three crying now. I've only known Millie for a few weeks but she and Gia are all I have here. I know they know I have problems but neither of them ever push me.

"I have cancer," Millie wails, she's calmer now.

"Oh Millie," I say.

"I don't want to hurt you guys. I'm going to die and I don't want to hurt you because I can't handle myself," she says as she starts to cry again.

"Millie you can't go through this alone. You need us," Gia cries. I never thought I would ever see Gia cry but something tells me she's crying about more than just Millie.

"Gia's right Millie. I don't have any friends other than you and Gia. I need you," I say as I try to pull myself together. I know I need to tell them about my situation with Vincent. If we are going to hold each other up I have to let them in.

The more I sit there and watch Millie get herself under control. I think about Millie's cancer. She told us she didn't have much time. Time scares me, mostly because the more time that goes by I wonder what Vincent's doing. I live with constant fear of him figuring out where I am. The tears down my face because I'm so broken I might only bring Millie and Gia down. Before I can think anymore Gia runs to the bathroom. I hear her puking and I look at the clock. It says 8:52 a.m. I know what this is, I worked in the Nicu when I lived in Florida. Plenty of mothers talked about morning sickness.

I look at Millie who has the same look as me on her face. I can tell she knows what this is. Without speaking we both go in the bathroom. Gia is crying. Millie and I come up behind her and lean over her back as she hunches over the toilet.

"This is why I couldn't drink last night," she says calmly.

"I know," says Millie. "We've worked together for over a year. That's well enough to know you wouldn't pass up shots unless you had a really good reason."

I giggle a little and so does Gia.

"Do you know who the father is?" I ask her.

"Yes, but he doesn't know yet," Gia says.

"Is it Tanner?" asks Millie.

Gia nods her head. I know Tanner is the guy who calls the diner all the time. Millie told me he has been calling for months.

"He'll understand Gia I know he will," says Millie.

"You don't know that," whispers Gia.

I just rub my hand over her back. I don't know Tanner other than telling him Gia's not at work over the phone. He seemed like a nice guy.

"Well we will be here every step of the way," Millie says.

"Andie?" says Gia.

"Yeah," I respond.

"Now that Millie and I have come clean. Why were you at the hospital yesterday?" Gia asks, she's careful not to push me too far.

"I'm on the run," I say, not sure how to tell them this. It's only fair they know the truth.

"From who?" Millie asks.

"My husband," I say with one tear coming down my face.

They both hug me. It's funny how we've taken turns comforting each other through these different battles.

"Where is he now?" asks Gia.

"He's in Tallahassee, Florida. That's where I came from. My last name isn't really Potter and I've had to change my identity just to keep him away," I tell them.

"What's his name? What's your story?" asks Gia.

"You don't have to answer this if you don't want to Andie," adds Millie.

"No, no I need to get this off my chest. I've never told anyone this stuff," I say gathering up all the power inside of me.

I tell them everything about Vincent and I. How we fell in love and how that love turned into a twisted horror. I tell them who I used to be, who he made me, and that I have no idea who I am now. I tell them how Vincent's sick way of loving me has dried me up and turned me into dust.

They understand my story, supporting me every step of the way. We vow to be each other's life boats and that in times of need we will always have the other ones backs. I don't know what to think of this new found friendship but I'm glad it's come to be. I have the sisters I've always wanted, just a group of broken sisters. My bruises may be the only ones on the outside but all three of us are black and blue.

I feel relaxed for the first time in months. It doesn't last long when I get a text from a friend in Florida. I kept one contact down there in case of emergency. When I see the text my whole body gives in.

"Vincent knows you're in Jersey," is all it says.