Bleed Me Dry

Uneclipse My Heart

"Once upon a time there was light in my life. But now there's only love in the dark." Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler.

Gia

From the outside I must look like a crazy person right now. I'm trying my hardest to keep calm as I call Tanner to tell him I'm pregnant. I close my eyes for a moment remembering our beautiful night together. I remind myself how much I love this baby, how it doesn't matter if Tanner wants nothing to do with me, how I now a have a support system.

It's so great having Andie and Millie around now. We help each other out through thick and thin. Millie and I help Andie out with her emotional breakdowns and panic attacks, Andie and I go with Millie to her treatments and doctor's appointments, and they help me plan my baby's arrival. This afternoon after we get off work they're going with me to see what my baby's gender is. I couldn't ask for better friends.

I manage to dial Tanner's phone number at work. Here goes nothing. The phone rings for a moment.

 Then I hear his beautiful voice pick up, "Gia?" he says surprised to hear from me. Frankly I would be too if I was him.

"Tanner, I knows it's been like 4 months since we've talked but I've been keeping something from you that I think you should know," I tell him, my voice is shakey the whole time I'm speaking.

"Gia whatever it is you can tell me. I'm always here for you."

"You might not still be saying that when I tell you this. I just want you to know that you are in no way obligated to support me. I can do this on my own."

"Gia just get to the point."

"I'm pregnant."

The line is silent for awhile. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

"Please say something," I plead.

"How long have you known?" he asks me.

"For about 3 months."

"Why didn't you tell me."

"I didn't know how."

"Should we get married?"

"What the hell. No!"

"Do you even want me around?"

"Not unless you want to be."

"Well I'm not sure if I do if you are going to keep me out of the loop."

"Well goodbye then," I hang up on him. Tears come to my eyes but I quickly wipe them away. I need to stay strong for my baby I need to teach him/her how to be strong.

I go home after work and I cry for awhile. I feel like lately all I've done is listen to myself cry. I wish Tanner would have said he wanted to be by my side. I don't want to marry him because I'm pregnant. I just want my baby to have a father. I have fallen apart and I need him by my side. I hear I knock on the door, for a brief moment I think it might be him. Then I remember it's Andie and Millie here to take me to my appointment.

I get in the ultrasound room and I almost start crying again. I dream about having Tanner here with me, him holding my hand and rubbing little circles on it telling me everything will be alright. I know that moment will never come, I pushed him away and now my world is dark. My heart is having an eclipse.

Andie and Millie are staring at with concerned looks. I must look like a complete wreck right now. There are tear stains on my eyes and I'm shaking like crazy. Not to mention my legs are being held wide open.

The three of us look like the saddest group of friends anyone will ever meet. Millie is balding and is skinnier than a twig. Andie still has fading bruises all over her face. We all look like pieces of people instead of three individuals.

Without saying anything to me they each grab one of my hands and put their heads on mine. Letting me know we're in this together.

The nurse comes in and checks me. Then she puts that cold stuff on my stomach. This entire process is so uncomfortable. I tell myself it will all be over soon.

All three of us look at the sonogram amazed by it's beauty. Tears come to my eyes again but this time the are tears of joy. Sharing this moment with my two best friends is all I could ever ask for.

"Do you want to know the sex?" the nurse asks.

Before I can answer I hear a "yes" come fromt the doorway. My heart drops when I see his face. I don't what to do and I know I'm looking at his electric green eyes like a scared freak.

The nurse give a heart warming smile and calmly says, "It's a girl."

Tanner holds up a little pink blanket with tears of happiness in his eyes. My heart turns into a full moon.