Iridescent

Chapter 32: Brick

Jason

Fuck. I was in deep shit.

I holed up in my studio after I cowardly ran away from Joy. Why couldn't I just have kept my hands and lips to myself?! I ran my hands through my hair as I remembered how soft her lips were and how sweet she tasted. Oh God. I can feel myself harden as her sexy sigh reverberated in my head.

I've wanted to kiss her so many times the past few days,and I've always successfully stopped myself from doing so, but having her in my arms at the grocery store, had me wanting to have something more with her. It felt right, like she belonged with me and I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving me.

I closed my eyes and all I can see was her glistening, swollen lips from my kisses and her bewildered look as I backed away from her. It took all of my strength not to run back to her and just hold her in my arms again, but I knew better. I was no good for her.

I laid back on the chaise lounge and closed my eyes. What am I supposed to do now? How can I possibly fix this? It's not like I can just forget what happened. Maybe I can pretend that nothing happened? I quickly shook my head at the stupidity of that idea.

I was angry at myself for being weak. I've known her for 4 days and she had completely turn my world upside down. I was acting like a complete idiot.

I made my way towards my canvas and sat in front of it and stared at the brown and golden hues. I grabbed the canvas and placed it next to the others. I took another canvas and started painting aimlessly, with every stroke and color, I let my feelings translate into the canvas. I was lost in it, arms flailing about, colors splashed across the white canvas, I didn't know how long I was in that trance like state, creating something primal.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Jason? I've set your dinner out in the dining room. I'm going to bed now, I'm not feeling well." Joy's sweet melodious voice floated through the door.

My heart stopped at the sound of her voice. My hand, poised over the canvas, ready for another stroke, faltered. I was breathing hard from my frantic pace.

I sat there, staring at the door, my voice caught in my throat. I couldn't even answer her. Not even a simple 'yes' or 'no', not even a 'thank you'.

"Jason?... "

I swallowed. "Uh, Thank you." I finally replied, my heart pounding against my ears.

A few moments later, I heard her footsteps walk away until it disappeared.

I set my paintbrush down and slowly made my way towards the door. I stuck my ear against the door, checking for any sounds that she might still be around. Hearing complete silence, I slowly opened the door and peeked through. I was instantly hit by the smell of cheese and my stomach growled its approval. I slowly made my way to the dining area, making sure to make as little to no noise as possible.

I stared at the set table in awe.

She still made me mac and cheese.

I kissed her and ran away from her, yet she still goes and makes me dinner!?

I've never felt so guilty.Ever.

I quietly sat down, and with one bite of her cooking, I was dead.

Of course it was perfect. Just like her.

I didn't realize I was starving until I demolished the mac and cheese. I sat there, staring at my clean plate, wondering how to go about the awkward situation. Tomorrow was Joy's last day, and I highly doubt she'll want to stay on, considering what just happened. A part of me wants to go up to her and apologize but I was afraid that she'll just get angrier with me.