Iridescent

Chapter 41 : Cocoa

Prism Joy

oh?! that's all he has to say? 'Oh.'

I stared back at him, trying to read his blank expression. I was hoping to see a glimmer of anything that would tell me what he was feeling, but his face held taut.  I can't believe that I resorted to telling him about my date with Kevin, just to see how he'll react. He obviously didn't care I was going out on a date with Kevin, which made his actions even more confusing.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked perplexed.

"Well, you said you love heights and I just wanted to show this place. " He shrugged as he twisted the thermos open ,poured the hot cocoa in a mug and offered it to me.

"I don't understand." I whispered as I accepted the mug.

"What do you mean?"

"This. why are you doing this?" I motioned with my hand across the expanse of the valley. Didn't he see that everything he did screamed romance?! Or am I just reading too much into this. I can feel tears starting to form in my eye, so I looked away and blinked them away.

I didn't need Jason to see me emotional again.

"Uh...this was where I originally planned to take you after the boat disaster...but, logistics wise, it would be hard for me to get here with a cast on..." he said casually. "I just thought I'd show it to you now."

I turned to look back at him and smiled, hoping that my face showed no evidence of my almost tears. "Oh. okay."  I grabbed a sandwich and slowly bit into it and stared back at the valley. My mouth was so dry I had a hard time swallowing my food. The PBJ sandwich was stuck on the roof of my mouth.

I felt like a complete fool. Here I was hoping for some form of explanation or confession, when all along, this was just one of his spontaneous outings. If this wasn't a sign for me to just move on, I don't know what is. This was truly becoming embarrassing and uncomfortable.

"I need to go." I blurted out and turned away, afraid of the tears that was once again threatening to fall.

"What?" He asked.

I re wrapped my sandwich and placed down my mug beside me. "I need to go. now." I repeated and stood up brushing off my behind.

I heard a scuffle beside me as I saw Jason quickly standing up. "Wait, why?" He said as he reached out for me.

I slyly stepped away, pretending to fix my coat.

"Safari, why do you need to go?"  He quietly asked. "I thought you were enjoying this--the view and all.." he mumbled. "I don't understand..."

His words just did it and tears just started to fall from my eyes. "That's just it, YOU don't understand." I croaked as I hastily tried to wipe away my tears.

Taking a step closer, he reached out for me. "Why are you crying?---please..don't cry."

"I'm not crying, it's just that I got some dirt in my eye..."

"Don't lie to me, Safari..." he murmured softly as he squeezed my arm.

I took a step back and shook my head. "Please take me home." I answered. "Please."

I watched Jason's face fall in defeat as he nodded his head. "Okay. Just please...don't cry anymore, I can't stand to see you cry." His blue eyes searched mine and I fell even deeper.