grey days // donny pangilinan

One

As I scroll through my phone, I never thought that tears were spilling out from my eyes. Why am I even crying? He left years ago. It's over. I had nothing to do with it. I can still see his smile. His beautiful eyes. Even his shiny hair. I stopped staring at his picture, because maybe I don't want to get hurt again. Maybe I'm just too tired to cry all over again.

It's been three years since he left the country without saying goodbye. It's been three years since he left me.

"Hey Sof? Are you okay?" Angelina asked worriedly.

"Uhm, yeah. Ofcourse." I said smiling at her.

"I think we probably should get going I'm really hungry na." she said complaining.

"You're always hungry Angie." I said sarcastically.

I was the only one calling Angelina "Angie" because I kinda like it. Not gonna lie, her name Angelina is so pretty. She's even pretty, she's the mixture of her mom and dad. We've been really close even though I only visit Manila when we have school breaks. When I visit Angelina and her sisters, Sam and Chesca, we have this sleepover called "Glam Slumber Party" it sounds lame, but whatever. We make noise around the house, do our make ups, bake cupcakes, watch horror movies and sometimes we go swimming at night.

•••

6:20 pm, Friday

After I had a Starbucks run with Angelina, manong driver picked me up. When I got inside the house, I felt the ambiance of home, but you know nothing's better than my home back in Tacloban. I missed it. Something about it is different. Konting tiis Ai. Makakauwi ka na rin.

"How are you anak?" Mom approached with a welcoming hug.

"I'm good, kind of tired. But I'm going be fine." I said hugging her back.

"Well, I'm really glad that you're happy." Mom said while touching my face.

Dinner was good. My favorite dish is amazing thanks to manang Alice, she never fails me. I went to my room and I felt so tired that I fell asleep.

2:32 am, Saturday

I woke up.

I check my phone. 10 messages - 2 missed calls
I got a text from one of my friends back in Tacloban.

iMESSAGE

Danielle Gomez
11:41 pm, Friday

hey ai! how are u?
i miss u already.
when r u coming back?

2:38 am, Saturday

hi dan ☺ i'm good. U?
Maybe next friday. Imy x

I went back to sleep, because I'm still tired. As always.

•••

6:19 am, Saturday

I woke up. I feel so empty. I watched my pale skin feel the cold atmosphere of my room. Even if it's a bit sunny outside, I can still see the gray skies behind it. I'm scared of it. I've been experiencing it for three years already, from the day he left and never came back. Grey days has been the days I had for three years.

I was about to get up, but Mom came in to my room. "Honey, the Pangilinans had invited us for dinner tonight." she said it excitedly. I smiled at her, I love seeing my mom happy. Her smile has been the band-aid to my pain.