Spice!

Chapter 21

The weekend passed by without incident. Miku tried hard to forget, though she didn't exactly succeed.

Len had messaged her several times, asking if he could see her. She never replied, but she didn't delete his messages, either. What was she supposed to say? Yes? No? She didn't know.

Finally, it was Monday, and she had to go back to school and face him. She knew this was coming - she couldn't run away from him forever, but still...she felt like pretending she was ill, just so she wouldn't have to go.

Over the weekend, Mikuo had been worried about her, asking her if she was okay. Each time, she had smiled up at him and assured him that yes, she was fine, and he hadn't pressed for more, though she knew he was unconvinced.

She trudged to school on Monday morning, dragging her footsteps. She just wanted to go home - to go anywhere, anywhere without having to face Len Kagamine. She closed her eyes and sighed.

''Well, let's get this over and done with, shall we?'' she asked out loud.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Len was already in class when she entered the classroom. His blue eyes flicked over to her, but she ignored his staring, making her way over to where Gakupo and Rin were.

Gakupo shot her a look which made her think that he knew exactly what had happened between her and Len that night. Did Rin tell him...?

''Are you okay, Miku?'' his dark blue eyes were filled with concern. ''I heard...about what happened. What Len did to you.''

Ah. He really did know. Miku found that she wasn't surprised. She shrugged.

''I could be worse,'' she muttered. ''At least he didn't hurt me all that much.'' She glanced back up at Rin and Gakupo, who stared back at her, still looking faintly worried. She smiled. ''I'm fine, really,'' she repeated, more insistently.

''If you say so, Miku,'' Rin finally said, accepting Miku's claim. Miku just continued smiling, though she felt hollow inside.

Her eyes darted over to Len Kagamine. He was looking straight at her, not even bothering to hide his stares now, and quickly she averted her gaze, turning away from him.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

''Miku.''

His voice was familiar, smooth, silky, sensuous. Miku glanced up at the owner of the voice, refusing to react to his nearness.

''What more do you want from me, Len?''

His blue eyes were fixed on the floor as he refused to look at her. ''I guess that you don't want to come by my house anymore?''

Miku hesitated, then shook her head. No, she didn't want to return there...especially not to his room. She shivered, trying to push the bad memory away. He sighed.

''I still need your help, though,'' she added slowly. ''I'm not that good with algebra yet.''

His eyes snapped up to meet hers. ''Where?''

She assumed that he was asking her where she wanted him to teach her, if not at his house. Miku tilted her head and thought.

''My house,'' she finally said. ''Straight away after school.'' He nodded and turned around, walking away from her, and she exhaled.

Though he had done such a thing to her, they could still have a businesslike relationship, couldn't they? One that wouldn't go anywhere beyond tutor to student. She was thankful for that - she didn't think she could handle another blow to her fragile heart.

So much had changed between her and Len Kagamine, and all within the short space of one week. She found herself hoping that all of it was just a mere dream, that she would wake up to find that nothing had changed.

That she was still Miku Hatsune, innocent, naive, the Miku Hatsune who knew nothing of intimacy and pleasure. That Len Kagamine was no one to her but an impossible crush, someone she idolized from afar.

Even though she would miss what she had had with Len, it would be preferable to the confusion and pain she felt over him right now. Anything would be better than this hurt, the hurt that he had caused.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Len didn't know what to do. He had betrayed Miku's trust for him, betrayed her vulnerability. He had taken advantage of her, and he still couldn't forgive himself for that.

She hadn't deserved to be so brutally treated, and he knew it. Felt guilty over it, still. And he didn't know how to go about seeking her forgiveness.

She had ignored the numerous messages he had sent her over the weekend, asking, no, practically begging her to meet him. So that he could explain himself, seek her forgiveness.

Yet, she had ignored him. And she ignored him still. He smiled, a faint ghost of a smile. ''I can't get upset over it,'' he said softly to himself. ''It's no one's fault but my own.''

Rin had warned him, and her words were true - all this were the results of his own despicable actions, and he couldn't blame anyone else for it. Not even Gakupo.

At least she hadn't completely shut him out, though. Later, he would be going to her house, for the first time ever, to tutor her in maths. He hoped that he could apologise properly to her then - hoped that he could somehow manage to convince her that he really was sorry for his actions.

He remembered the way she had looked at him that night, and the way she looked at him now. Her eyes then were filled with hurt, with betrayal, and even now those vivid, forest-green eyes contained traces of pain.

And it's all my fault.

Strange, that I'm tearing myself up over her like this. I've never done this before, not even for Rin.

Do I really, truly have feelings for Miku? Do I lust after her, or do I genuinely care for her?

Len shook his head. It would do him no good to ponder about that issue now - there wasn't any point, when Miku was acting so distant with him.

To be frank, he was surprised that she even bothered to talk to him, to answer his questions. If he were her, he would've just ignored all his questions, made her hate for him obvious.

Does she hate me? He wondered. He glanced down at the floor. It would be expected if she did, but he really hoped that she didn't.

I'm going to her house later, he reminded himself. I'll apologise first, before thinking about other matters.

If she didn't accept his apology, if she didn't forgive him...

Len had no idea what he would do then. Please don't reject me. Please stop pushing me away.