CHAPTER 30
"Honey" I was waken up by a soft hand caressing my face, it was mom. She gave me a small smile and I sat up, "Time for medicines for the baby" she said. Mom used to be a gynecologist, but dad was good at persuading, he persuade her to stop practicing.
Most of the times, she goes to charity houses for women and offer free check up and medicines for the babies.
"I also prepared fruits and veggies for you." She softly said. "Where's dad?" I asked. She sat down beside me, trying to help me with food.
"Outside, talking to the doctors." She simply said. "Do you hate me mom?" I asked, I know I've been so bad at them. She shook her head and tuck the strands of hair behind my ear. " I can never be mad at you honey." She smiled, and looked at my belly.
"You'll be a mother soon, you'll understand that no matter what your little one do, or what they don't, you can't help but love them. A parent's love is eternal, and your dad isn't mad at you too."
"We love you very much to hate you. I felt that you've been hiding something, we never stopped tracking you down, I told your daddy to let you go, I think you needed freedom, but then, we never knew we've been tracking the wrong person all the time. It was Scott who told us where you are, and your condition, if you see, everything you did, fate still made a way for us to find you, to know what happened to you.."
"All of us will be sad if you go... I've been a doctor, I saw mom's leaving their babies, and you know what honey? That's the hardest part of all... Not seeing your baby grow is the hardest part of all."
Tears run through my eyes, with the excruciating pain I am feeling, I do not know if my body will last. All that I'm looking forward to was the time when I will give birth to my little one then let go.
But then, seeing them around, was giving me strength to fight, to never let go. I wanted to live, I wanted to stay.
"We will fight with you honey. Whatever your decision will be, we will respect it, and if the day comes..." she said, tears flowing her eyes as she wipe mine.
"We want to tell you we love you, and we will keep the baby..."
"Mom... I-in...In case I die... And C-connor cannot take seeing the baby... or in case he will hate the little one... Take... Take care of him. Love my little one. Do not ask questions to Connor. Do not let daddy hurt him, take my little one and with a smile on your face, let Connor go..."
"He deserves to live happy, he deserves a second life with a-another woman. He deserves a complete family..."
"Do not burden him... He deserves the best too."
Mom nodded at me and kissed me, "Fight Valerie. Fight for us. Fight for Connor. He will be very sad to see you go."
"I always see his love for you the way your dad loves me, it's eternal, it will hurt him to much to let you go honey, pray. Pray with us, pray that you will stay..."
"But if the pain is too much, even if it hurts, we will understand, we will try to understand." Mom and I hugged each other and cry. Maybe this was the first stage, the sorrow.
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At third month I was feeling less nauseated, my siblings visited me, Vin made me so happy with his crazy stuffs, they stayed for a month, with Connor not leaving my side.
Even though Connor doesn't say it, I know, he's being criticize for staying by my side. Aunt Katherine and Uncle Jeanne also visited me, asking how the baby was.
The four sets of doctors became eight, Aunt and Uncle supported us in keeping the baby, however they wanted the Doctors of Lexumbia to cooperate with the doctors daddy hired.
There will be times that I feel my head aching too much, sometimes I'm trying to control it, because I know they will be sad, however, there will be times that I cannot take it anymore and I just wanted to give up.
At my fifth month I started writing letters again, this time I wrote for my little one. They told me it will be a bouncing baby boy. I wrote one on the day he'll be born, on the day his daddy will hold him, on the day when Connor left him with mom and dad, on his first birthday, first time to crawl, stand, walk, talk, first birthday.
I also wrote letter for the day he will first go to school, I also chose an outfit on his baptism, on the day he'll be born, and on the day of my wake...
I wrote him letters until he will be married, that was the last I am planning to write for him.
We also started having sessions on how to take care of the baby. I am happy about it, and thankful that whenever we are having baby sessions, my sickness is not attacking. I think Connor was loving it too. Unknown to him, most of the sessions I was letting him do the job too...
Just in case it will just be him and I will not be around...
I saw him reading books about pregnancy too, I was thankful the baby loves eating, he doesn't complain about anything.
Today was another session, but this time I am really needed...
It was how to properly breastfeed the baby. Connor seemed to be a little bit shy, and I know it was because it has been ages since we "did" it. I was also a little uncomfortable, knowing there's been a lot of changes in my body now.
"Come on, you guys made that baby, don't tell me you made it with clothes on!" The instructor said, which made us both laugh.
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