I Need You Like You Need Me (Old Version) Being renewed

I need you like......9

Grieving the hardest way

I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to be part of this...I groaned loudly, tossing my hand as I tilted my head back, pressing my eyes close. I leaned against my car, I needed to see him, I needed to. I yanked the door of my car open and got in, driving away. I don't know what I was thinking by missing my father's funeral but I couldn't, I just felt betrayed and left out. I didn't want to be part of that, if I wasn't part of the process.

When driving away, I realized that I shouldn't be doing this. I acted on rage and anger, I wanted to see my father one last time. I turned back around, driving back to the pack where the funeral was being made. I parked my car at the lake where the ceremony was being held, getting out of the car as I closed the door and made my way toward the crowd.

My mother was saying goodbye to him. I slowly pushed my way through and made my way toward my mother, leaning down at my father wrapped in a blanket, his eyes close. I bit down my bottom lip as tears filled my eyes, "I love you dad, you were the best father I could have asked for. Even in your last days, you wanted me happy. You wanted me to be okay while you weren't. You are truly, the definition of kindhearted. You stood by your words till your last breath, and I couldn't be more proud of you. I'll miss you dad."

I kissed down his forehead and stood up, stepping away as they covered my father's face. I looked away, my mother bringing me into a hug but I snubbed her, making my way through the crowd as I made my way toward my car.

I opened my car door and got in, tears blinding my vision as I leaned down in the seat, my hands twisting the steer wheel hard. My shoulders shook as I sobbed heavily, I cried because I had almost missed something so important to me because I was angry, my father meant everything to me, and not seeing him for the last time would have haunted me forever.

I drove away from the lake and headed back to the destination I was heading to before I changed my mind half way, I wanted to see him still, I wanted, no, I needed him. He was the only person that could understand me right now. I needed something to talk too.

I drove toward his house, hoping that he was there instead of the campus. On my way there, I decided to go back home, maybe he wasn't even there. I had rejected his choosing, why did I still needed him more than ever? I turned off the switch, I got out of the car and walked toward the front, my hands brushing my arms as I leaned down on the car hood, crossing my feet.

I stared up at the starred sky, sighing as I placed my hands on the hood, shaking my feet. I felt a hand on mine and turned to look at Slain who leaned on the car hood next to me. My head slowly leaned down on his shoulder as I pulled my sweater closer to my body, my fingers hooked in my sleeves.

We stayed like this, I didn't say anything and he didn't either. Our night went like this, just sitting on the hood of my car as we watched the stars, just enjoying each other's company. When I woke up, I was in his bed and wearing his clothes.

I brought my legs up, my arms around my knees as I stared around the room. The curtains blew, a cold wind brushing against my warm skin, making me shiver. I stood up from the bed, heading toward the balcony to slide the door close and locked it. Where was Slain?

I made my way into his bathroom and looked for a brush to brush my tooth and put some toothpaste on it. When I finished brushing my teeth, I washed my mouth and dried my hands. I went to his closet and threw on a jacket over his shirt, it was cold. I put socks on and made my way out of the room, sliding my hands in the pockets of his jacket.

I made my way into the living room and watched him swim in the pool from the living room. I opened the slide door and made my way outside, the cold wind blowing my hair back. Oh fuck, it was so cold. I trembled slightly as I made my way toward one of the beach chairs and sat down on it, lying down.