Patience ➳ Shawn Mendes

Chapter 13

The drive home was long but not at all awkward as I had thought it would be. It had been silent in the car until we hit the highway. The silence had not been awkward in any kind, it was comforting in a way.

We had both been remembering what happened when I came out of the facility.

I had walked slowly- very slowly- to where he stood against his car. I didn't know what to expect, I did leave him for multiple months without letting him know of anything beforehand after all. Having no idea at all if he was angry at me, I didn't know what to do so I figured if I just took my time so I could take the time to think of what I could do, how I could act.

In the end, he decided for me because it was as if he could sence my presence nearby. The moment the doors closed behind me, he looked up from his phone and a huge smile settled on his face. My pace started to quicken which soon resulted into running when he opened his arms wide for me.

Even with my bag, I jumped into his open arms and breathed in his sent as I pushed my head into his neck. His scent hadn't changed a bit and I had missed it, it was a physical reminder that he was there. The jacket I had kept had lost his scent too soon for my liking and I had lost the physical reassurance I craved but then I had the picture and I had been reassured to an extent.

"Charlotte." He had whispered as he held me close, locked in his arms.

It felt good to be in them, it felt right. There was a warm feeling in my chest, it made me feel complete.

I was complete when I was with him.

He had let me go to get in the car but even in the car, during the silence, we had always kept touching each other. I think it was to remind ourselves that we were in each others presence and we were together in a car.

"Are you okay now?" He broke the silence.

I looked up from my lap. "What? Oh, uh, it wasn't to become 'better' per se. I just needed to go there to learn how not to let my issues rule my life. I'll never be truly better but I'm okay with that. That is another reason as to why I was there."

"Will you ever tell me more about your past?" He asked. I must've looked angry or something because he quickly backtracked. "Uhm, I didn't mean now- I meant someday, when you're ready for it."

"One day." I vowed. "That is a promise, something I don't easily break. I'm just not ready to talk about it openly yet- maybe after a couple of visits to my shrink."

"You call your psychologist a shrink?"

"Sure I do. Why wouldn't I?" I shrugged. "I don't know if other's find it offensive but mine didn't. She is actually the one that started it."

"Oh, well what will you be doing this Fall break?" He asked.

"Uhm, well Dad gave me tickets to go to the Harry Potter Parks in Orlando." I told him excitedly.

A look of dread settled in his eyes. "Oh, when will you go?"

"Well, I got two tickets to go from Wednesday 'till Saturday."

"Who will you be taking?"

"Well, I was thinking- you said if you could go again, you would. Now I'm offering you a chance to go again, will you go again?"

"With you?" The look of dread turned into one of hope.

"Yes."

"Yes! Of course!" He agreed. "I'd gladly go with you."

"Great." I said, leaning back against the seat.

A silence settled in the car again, the only sounds were our breating and the music. For some reason we were listening to Radio Disney. The song changed from Geronimo to one of the man sitting next to me.

Kid In Love started playing and I was the only one that noticed. It was playing silently but since there was no conversation flowing, I could just as well turn the radio up.

He looked at me weirdly as I touched the radio.

"What are you-" He asked but I cut him off by putting a finger on my lips and started swaying to the song.

Still swaying my head to the song, I started singing along. In the past two months, I played his CD on replay multiple times only to hear his voice. By now I knew his lyrics by heart.

"And I know that we just met
And maybe this is dumb
But it feels like there was something
From the moment that we touched
'Cause, it's alright, it's alright
I wanna make you mine
The way you're lightin' up the room
Caught the corner of my eye
We can both sneak out the back door
We don't have to say goodbye
'Cause, it's alright, it's alright
To waste time tonight
Maybe I'm just a kid in love
Maybe I'm just a kid in love
Oh, baby
If this is what it's like falling in love
Then I don't ever wanna grow up
Maybe I'm just a kid in love
Maybe I'm just a kid in love
Oh, baby
It'd be cool if it's the two of us
But I don't ever wanna grow up"

"I didn't know you could sing."

"That's because I can't." I answered.

I knew for a fact that I was not the next Adele or something. My voice was by far not fit to entertain a full arena or something, I was also not interested in being a singer or something.

"You obviously didn't hear what I did then because your voice is amazing. I love your voice, it's better than mine."

I snorted. "Uhm, yeah right! I don't think so, I hate my voice. I just love singing too much to stop doing it."

"You shouldn't stop." He told me. "I love your voice, you should share it with the world."

"Say I would do that, how do you think I should do that?"

"Mhm, good question. Once I think of something, I'll let you know."

He left the highway and soon we turned into my street. For the first time in a long time, I would walk into my home. I was freaking out because I had no idea whether or not I was ready for that.

I felt a hand close over my own, looking down I saw it was Shawn's.

With Shawn by my side, I knew I would be ready for anything.