I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

ｓｌｕｍｂｅｒ ｐａｒｔｙ

I walked home after staying over for two days. Frank walked me over, because he wanted to make sure I got home safely. Tomorrow was the 29th and a Monday. So, back to school. Mom didn't want me staying another night, she said it would be best to stay home. I was going to say something like "Me and frank and the guys have a project to work on." But she said she already invited Gwen to stay the night. She said she would let her stay so I could have someone ride me to school, or walk with me to school.

Gwen and I was up in the room, doing each others makeup while we listened to Nirvana play on my record player. My room was vintage styled. An old vintage box tv, record player. Wire black dial phone that was painted seafoam green, four post enchanted bed. I had no posters, but my room was a pastel blue color with paint splatters everywhere. Gwen and I did it up while my mom was at work. She was furious when she came back. That was back when I was younger though. My dad was mad as well.

Gwen and I were face to face while she did my makeup. My room was covered in blankets and pillows made up as a blanket fort and a bed made on the floor. We did this since we were little kids. There were Christmas lights and pillows stacked. We were having the time of our lives.

We would always gossip, or tell secrets or talk about things that was going on with our lives. We would have pillow fights, or do our makeup like clowns. We would pester my parents and pull pranks on my older brother, or climb out my window onto the roof and watch the stars. We would scream at people that would walk by our house or slingshot spit balls at them and hide so they wouldn't see us. We would sneak out at nights and run down the roads screaming cuss words or play truth or dare until one of us went really far, but we would still do it anyways.

We've been close for years. We have never been apart and if we would ever be, we probably wouldn't know what to do. Mom technically adopted her, and I was good with it. Me and her would talk non stop about everything,  but this time, it was different. She was so quiet and had a kind of hidden sad face over a small fake happy face. After we were done with makeup, we climbed up to the roof and laid on our backs, looking at the stars.

Every time we looked at the stars, we would point at one and draw a shape in it, saying "that looks like a monkey" or whatever we saw in the stars. But, it was silent. We laid there for the past two hours, being quiet, except for me telling her about the guys, and what me and her were going to do in the future. Then, I turned to her and sighed.

"you're very quiet. Is everything okay?" I asked, poking her side.

She nodded and looked at me. "Yea, why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know. You just, seem like there's something bad that's going to happen that you're not telling me."

"No, I'm just. I've changed, that's all..." she looked back up at the stars and put her hands behind her head. "plus, I have a headache. That's all..."

I shook my head and sat up, looking down at her. "No that's not it. Either you're not telling me something or you've just been meaning to make me question you and make me feel insane. Gwen, come on. We tell each other everything."

She sat up with me, looking at me with a shrug. "Look, I can't tell you. It's, really not the right time to tell you. I'll talk you tomorrow. I just, want to spend some time with my best friend, okay?" She smiled again, and I could see tears forming. I nodded and she hugged me tightly. I hugged back and I just, I felt like it was something horrible...