Dear Diary

05

   "Im sorry..."

   What? Wait Garrison is sorry? He must've hit his head....like hard.

   "W-what," I choked on my own spit. He chuckled and sat on his bed, running a nervous hand through his brown hair.

   "I have not been the best brother. You deserve way more than me and I am sorry," he replied. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. I could feel him breaking into a sweat. 

   "Garrison, I am always here, I just wish you would take my side when I need you too," I said, shaking a little bit. 

   "You're right. I'm so, so sorry about the Alex thing. He's a jerk and you deserve way better than him," he said. I felt heat rush to my cheeks. Gosh I am like a little girl. 

   "Uhm, Garrison--" I started, voice shaky. "Do you wanna just go on a trip? Just me and you?" He smiled from ear-to-ear and nodded. 

   "I would-I would love that, Elle," he responded. 

   "Uhm, how about we go on a drive to our spot," I recommend and he nodded. Our spot is this little place in the woods. Way before he was popular, way before Alex, way before any of it. It's Garrisons and my spot. We go there to talk and to tell secrets that we don't want anyone else to hear. He is my favorite best friend. I stood up and held my hand out, waiting for him to take it. Once he did, I leaded us downstairs. 

   "Mom, me and Elle are going on a road trip. Be back soon," Garrison said just before slamming the door and we laughed. 

   "Great job getting us out of that, Garrison," I said as we walked to mom's Volvo. I got in the driver's seat and Garrison got in the seat next to me. "I really missed you, and you know how I hate getting sappy, but that's all I can do right now. I can only be happy that you are in my life again." 

   "It hurts to even think that I was out of it. I should've been there when everything went on with Alex, not making it worse. You don't deserve me, Elle." 

   "I may not deserve you, but I want you. I want you to be my brother, my other half, my best friend. I just want you there. I want to be able to count on you when someone breaks my heart and I want to know that when I'm scared, when I'm with my brother, I have comfort. I want that again. I want us again. What ever happened, Garrison?" 

   "It's a long story," he mutters. I roll my eyes. 

   "I think I deserve one," I said, sending him a quick glance. 

   "I've always just been afraid of hurting you. I didn't want to hurt you and I knew that I wasn't the best person at the time. I knew that inside. I didn't want you to see me like that, to see me hurting and hurting other people. What I didn't know that, was by leaving, I was hurting you worse than staying--" he paused to wipe his tear before I could. 

   "I could've been there and changed my ways. I could've been a better brother if I stayed than when I left. I could of made you happy and let you know that I was there. But I didn't." 

   We stayed silent for a minute. 

   "I remember you being a little girl, even though we are only one year apart. I told myself that I wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt you, but I broke my own promise because I was the first to break you. I always want to see that smile. The smile that can light up the whole room and send shivers down someone's spine. I want to make up for the lost time, and I want to become a better brother. 

   I know now that I need to stay, that I am just hurting you worse by leaving. I left because I had personal school, friend situations going on and I thought that I would hurt you by trying to take the pain away. You are more important than any pain to me, especially after those years that I have wasted. I have missed you, Elle and I am sorry."

   I was dazed, every memory started flooding back to me. The day he told he hated me, the day he told me we couldn't be siblings. I felt pain. There was agony rushing through my body. I was silently screaming but sobbing. I was having a panic attack from the memories. I tried to stop it; to slow it down, but nothing worked. 

   I felt the steering wheel swerve and everything went black...

***

A/N

   Hey guys, I know I know. Sappy moment an I had to ruin it, I am so sorry but I had to. Don't hate me just yet please. I would never do anything seriously bad to you, :P. Don't worry. Wait for the next chapter. I love you forever and ever and ever, okay? 

Don't forget to share, comment, and vote. 

Much love,

-Alyssa