Your All Isn't Good Enough💋🔫

Put The Gun Down

Is there anybody out there reading? Please vote,comment. I have like 20 chapters done already but I'm not sure if anybody even likes the book. Thank you for your time.

I'm exhausted from today all I want to do is go to sleep. I'm happy I ate at the mall.One less thing to worry about. When I get to the room the lights are on. Dropping the bags to the side. Pulling my gun from my back jeans,taking it off safety.  Putting the card in getting the green to open. Walking in I don't see anything or anyone.

Hearing water coming from the bathroom. The doors open. Pulling the curtain back aiming.

"Woah bitch calm down,put the gun down!!!"

"What the fuck Yo-yo?"

"Oh yea heeeey girl"

"Uggghhh"

Rolling my eyes,walking out the bathroom. Guess who's coming through the door at the same fucking time Ace and Zoe.

Hugging Ace,walking past Zoe to get my bags.  But he grabs me by my waist.

"Can we talk?"

"Foooorrrr"

"Stop playing"

"I'm not playing I'm dead serious remove your arm please"

He does what I ask. Pissing me off even more. Why does nobody understood I needed space from everything . I don't even think that I'm going back.

Zoe's giving me a hard stare. Yo-yos on her phone,Ace is watching TV. Yay me

"So why is every body here?"

"We came to check on you"

"I appreciate it, but I really wanted time for my self"

Everybody got quiet.

"We were worried about you."

"No you were worried about me. Ace likes you so he followed. Zoe is a dick,guessing he didn't tell you "

"Enough Cal"

Zoe's vein is popping out his neck. I guest somebody's mad. Big mad orrrr Lil mad?

Standing up to go outside. Yo follows. Pulling out a blunt lighting it up going for a walk.

"What happened with you and Zoe?"

"He called me a selfish bitch,not even asking what's wrong with me. He just assumed shit"

"He was just mad"

"That's an excuse? Yo really you taking his side?"

"I'm not taking any side C"

"Wrong answer your suppose to take my side off rip "

Looking to notice we made it to the pool. Taking my shoes off I take one last puff,then dive in the pool blocking yo-yo ,the world out. Why can't every body just leave me alone for once. I don't want to be bothered is that to much. Apparently it is from the situation I'm in now.

The water is calm. Where nothing can touch me. Not like that, I can see what's going to be thrown at me in here. At all times no surprises.

Going to the deeper end. Coming up once in awhile to breath. Then doing this process all over again.

When I decided to get out Zoe's there waiting with a towel.

No words are spoken,going in to the room not making eye contact with any one. Noticing I'm bleeding down south,the doctor told me it will be on and off for awhile.

Sighing putting on a T-shirt and yoga pants with uggs

Grabbing my keys

"Where you going?"

"Out"

Slipping in the car, going to the CVS up the street,getting what I need going to the restroom to finish my biz

I pay for my stuff. Thinking I'm not ready to go back yet. I seen a park on my way here. I'll stop by there first.

Stopping there, I get out to walk for awhile. Finding a bench half way around. I left my phone so it's just me,myself and I. Feeling a presence sit beside me. Looking up it's fucking Wes. Are you serious right now.

"Please don't run"

Looking at him with puffy eyes. Looks like he's been crying for hours. I've never seen him cry before. Funny right?

He sits down but keeping distance from me.

"I'm sorry,I'm so fucking sorry Cal"

"Sorry isn't always good enough Wes"

"I don't know what I was thinking"

Throwing his head in his hands.

"You were thinking with your wrong head Wes. Not one time did I cross your mind when you decided to step out. You got a big head my nigga. You knew you had a good female at home that has always been faithful to you. What did she have that I wasn't giving you?"

"Nothing,nothing at all I'm sorry. You did nothing it was me all me"

"Then why?"

"I don't know. I was being blind to how I was treating you. I know I fucked up."

"Why didn't you stop. Do you understand you were fucking me raw? That's trust B. You could have giving me a disease. You could have gotten her pregnant. You didn't even think you just did. I gave you my heart better and worse. I tried to stay down even when every fucking sign was in front of me. I thought you would get your head right. But you didn't. You threw me away like I was nothing"

"I know I'm wrong I know I know"

"I lost my baby Wes. And it seems everybody feels that I should be over it. But guess what I'm not. I will never be. I cry myself to sleep,I dream about it. I'm hurting,I'm hurting so bad. Where I don't even want to live anymore. There's so much pain and hurt in me that I can't breath right. I smoke so much just for a moment my problems will be gone. I didn't get to name,hold my baby. I'm a mother Wes. You did this Wes you broke us. You have broken me. You have hurt me to the bone. Nobody has ever hurt me as much as you have. Over and over again. Your stress cost me my baby. You left me to go to her while our baby was dying in me. I still had to give birth. Do you understand how that felt In and out but knowing that once it came out I wouldn't hear a cry. I wouldn't feel that finger grab. Or see those eyes while he looks up at me. I want to hurt you,let you feel how I feel for once.I want to kill you,so I don't ever have to see you again. Do you know how that feels? DO YOU?
Was she worth it Wes ?"

At this point both of us have tears falling. His head is on my lap rocking back and forth. While he repeats over and over he's sorry. His sorry means nothing to me. After I calm down I sigh. I can't give symphony when I can't even give myself any.

"Wes I have love for you. I always will. I forgive you but never will I forget. I hope you are able to pick up your life,get right. You have some issues that you need to work out. I hope you find your happiness one-day"

"Please don't do this. We can get past this, be stronger. I love you baby please don't do this"

"Things will never be the same. Good bye Wes"

Kissing him on his forehead leaving my necklace he gave me in his hand. My past.

Getting in the car. I break down for my baby, Wes, our relationship,my pain,hurt,the lies,the lonely nights,my trust and my heart. Calming down I finally make it back to the hotel. But I sit outside for awhile. I don't want to be bothered lighting up a blunt inhaling deeply. Relaxing

A piece of mind as I blow it out. Taking my mind away from my pain. Just for a little while. I want to be numb I don't want to feel anything.

When will it get better? I hope soon. 15 mins later I feel my body being lifted up. Has to be Zoe. He's whispering everything is going to be ok I promise

"Don't make promises you can't keep"

Drifting off to a land were nothing hurts.

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