𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐒. ( 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 ) ✓

xlvii. GRIEVING

[REQUEST]

Today was a bad day. Exactly a year ago today your brother had died serving alongside you as an Avenger during an undercover operation at HYDRA. You weren't one to grieve forever but there were times that really did hurt you. Every so often you would reference one of your old inside jokes and you wouldn't have anyone to turn to. Every time you used your powers; every spark of electricity you let stream from your fingers would remind you of his identical powers. It was this day that combined every intolerable emotion into a whirlwind of heartbreak. And so, you couldn't manage to get out of bed.

You lay there, under your soft, white duvet with your head buried deep in your pillow. Tears were pooling at the heavy bags under your eyes and you could barely muster the effort to raise your hand to wipe your dampened face. Your voice was hoarse; you could tell from the stray sobs that escaped your lips earlier. By now you had gotten past crying. You just laid in your bed, exhausted and an emotional wreck.

A soft knock sounded on your door and you wanted to bury yourself further into your bed than ever before. Unlucky for you, it was Bucky Barnes who opened your door. You immediately squeezed your eyes shut, hoping he would think you were asleep.

"I know you're awake." Your eyes fluttered open to see Bucky crouched by your bed. He lifted his human hand to run his fingers through your tangled hair. The two of you remained like that for a few moments before Bucky stood again and placed a gentle kiss to your forehead. Bucky knew of the pain you felt. Bucky felt guilty. You tried to remind him a while ago that an attack by HYDRA didn't mean an attack by him. HYDRA no longer owned him. Bucky was still hesitant to believe that. HYDRA being responsible for your brother's death and your sorrows made him feel horrible. So you talked it out with him.

That's how the two of you became close; late night conversations when you couldn't sleep blossomed into a wonderful friendship.

Bucky walked towards the door and his hand barely grazed the doorknob before you called out to him. "Stay." Your voice was rugged and nothing over a whisper but somehow it stopped Bucky in his tracks. He walked back over to you.

"Want me to get in?" He gestured to the large, empty space beside you in bed and you nodded. He climbed in next to you, doing his best to move as softly as possible. He was uncomfortable at first. Unsure how to position his hands and as to how much space he should give you. You made things much easier for him by spinning your body around to face him and burying your face in his surprisingly comfortable chest. His head rested on top of yours and he continued to place soft kisses on your skin as he rubbed your back, comfortingly.

"You okay, doll?"

"I am now."