Erin (book 1 of Erin Series)

forty-four

Once I am washed up, my wound is dressed and covered, I head to the dining hall. I wear, yet another dress, this time with a fur shawl that covers my shoulders and my wound. When I enter the room, I stop at the door and give my father a curtsy. He motions for me to sit down, and I do. Mother sits across from me, pleased with how I entered.
We eat in almost all silence, and it's obvious something is bothering father. I want to ask, but I fear mother will hit me for talking out of place. I think about being here, how I can't speak my mind, or wear what I want. I missed wearing my pants, and boots, they are so much more comfortable than these ugly shoes they are making me wear. The more I think about being here, the more my anger begins to steep.
I push my food around with my fork, having lost my appetite.
"You two really are related." Mother breaks the silence in the room.
I look up at her. Apparently so did father. I glance at his plate, and it's barely touched, just like mine.
"What are you talking about?" Father almost hatefully bites into a chunk of meat.
"You two were quite lost in thought. Pushing your food around on your plate instead of eating it. I almost wonder if you two were thinking about the same thing." Mother sets her napkin down on the table, next to her empty plate.
Father stands up, slamming down his napkin.
"Finish your dinner. Then meet with me in my office." He commands and leaves the room.
I now know where I get my anger from. Though, I wonder what he wants to talk about. Did I do something wrong? Did he find out about my sword fight today?
"You better hurry. He has no patience." Mother suggests.
I then set my napkin down, not caring to finish my food. "I'm done anyways." I stand up and leave the room. When I enter the hall, I am surprised mother didn't try to stop me, and tell me to fix something. Maybe she is upset too? I continue down the halls, into a few different corridors until I find father's office. I knock twice.
"Come in." Father's voice rumbles from inside the room.
I enter the room, and am about to curtsy again but he lifts his hand up to stop me.
"You are my daughter, you don't need to do that when you enter my office. So as long as your mother doesn't see it." He runs his hand through his hair.
I walk up to the desk, examining the papers thrown everywhere. There are a few maps.
"What is it you needed, father?" I ask, turning my gaze to him.
"Sit down." I do as I'm told. "These uh.. pandoreos men.. you ran into them once, is that correct?"
"Yes."
"Did they look any different than humans?"
I think about it. "Well, no. I didn't know they were different, until Keir told us what they really were. I am told that only the leader looks different."
He sighs.
"What's going on?" I ask.
"We may be heading into a war, sooner than we thought." He looks at me for a long moment. "Your mother is not going to like this, but I need your strength in my guard. I understand you are my daughter, and a princess, but I barely know you. And what I do know, you have fought your whole life."
I stand up faster than he could finish. "Of course! I'll do it!" I say excited to be fighting again. "I can't stand wearing these godawful dresses!"
He almost chuckles. "Darling, you will still be learning to become a princess, but your day will be filled with even more, now. You will train with my men every day after all of your lessons, and when you wake up." His facial expression darkens. "Do not think that I am sending you to your death, for I am not and this training will keep you alive. We will start tomorrow morning. First thing."
I nod. "Thank you so much, father!" I rush around the desk and give him a large hug. I am not normally one to give hugs, but he just made everything so much better. I can tell he is surprised by the hug, but eventually returns the embrace.

Later in the evening, I find myself wandering the halls of the castle, with Dakota at my side.
You do realize, you could get in a lot of trouble for this, right? She scolds.
Ah, I'm not doing any harm. I'm just walking around. Learning my ways around. I respond to her, with out speaking.
If a wolf could roll their eyes, she most definitely would at me. I understand that I am new at this, but I feel so free, and have been since my father promised to let me fight once again. I just can't sit down and stay still.
As I continue to walk, I hear yelling coming from a room just down the hall. I'm almost positive it's my parents chamber.
"...think it was wise to do that??"
I hear mothers voice and stop nearby the door.
"Do you now see how miserable she is? Especially at dinner, today. She sat there playing with her food, shifting uncomfortably in her dress. You don't see me walking around in one of those things."
"You're not a woman, Cecerion! She is a young lady, and she needs to start acting like one."
I hear father laughing, a sarcastic laugh. "You have spent all this time worrying about her. Trying to find her. And the second we finally find out that she's alive, you immediately want to change her. Is it not obvious that this is not who she is? She was raised differently. She's not going to like this. Don't you want her to be happy?"
"Of course I do! But how is she going to rule a kingdom, if she doesn't even know how to?"
"I'm not saying to stop all of the training, I'm saying to go easy on her. Give her some time. She is a beautiful young lady, any king or prince would take her."
"Not if she continues to act like you!"
I almost choke on my laugh.
You need to control yourself if you're going to eavesdrop! Dakota snaps.
"And yet, you still married me."
There's a short pause.
"Well, if you weren't so damned handsome."
"Exactly. Erin has the face, that even if she is the worst wife ever, no man would leave her. It's obvious that the men she came in with love her. Maybe not in a romantic way, but they will remain loyal to her." He pauses for a moment. "Beatrice, she could possibly be the most powerful queen in history. Her knowledge of war, and battle. She may lack in manners, but honestly, why do we even have them? They are pointless."
"No one wants to follow a queen who's a pig."
"No one wants to follow a queen who doesn't know how to handle war. They don't care, as long as their lives are safe."
I feel so special, listening to my parents. Well, my father. It's the first time someone has ever spoken so highly of me.
You have a guest. Dakota kicks me out of my own thoughts. I look at her, then turn around to see Godrik preparing to scare me.
His shoulders slump when he fails, "How did.."
"Good ears, I guess." I say and start to walk past him.
"Where are you going?" He grabs my arm.
"Back to my room. I've got an early day tomorrow."
"What were you just doing?" His eyes meet mine.
"Well, I was eavesdropping until you interrupted me." I state bluntly.
He turns toward the door then back to me, sighs, and pulls me down the hall.
"What are you going? Let go of me." I demand.
He grumbles something, but I don't understand what he said. Finally he swings a door open and pulls me in the room with him.
"Do you realize how much trouble you could have gotten yourself into for that?!" He says once the door is shut. "If the king or queen had caught you, they could have thrown you in the dungeon for a few days."
"Seriously? You really think I would get in trouble for listening to my own parents?" I glare at him.
"You don't know the king like I do." He growled.
"Excuse me, but he is the one who promised to teach me to fight with his men. And even wants my help planning this war." I retort.
"That means nothing! He has plenty of people helping him. You're no more special than any of them."
Some how his words sent a pang through my chest. I push him away, and leave the room he dragged me into. Dakota greets me outside the door.
"Erin, you know that's now what I meant." Godrik tries to fix what he said.
I ignore him, and keep walking down the hall, until he grabs my arm.
"Erin, ple-"
"Do not touch me." I say slow enough, and through my teeth that he let's go, defeated.
I turn around and head back into my room.
You know he did not mean it. Dakota tries to convince me, as I struggle to take my dress off.
"Honestly, I don't care. His words hurt. I have spent my whole life alone. And he decides to tell me that I really am not special?"
You have to understand that he was just trying to keep you safe. If the king had caught us-
"Then what? We get thrown into the dungeons? Thrown outside on our own? At least if I got thrown out, I could travel to the kingdom Rune is at. Being thrown in a dungeon wouldn't do anything. I haven't lived a horrible life, but by golly, my life hasn't been daisies and roses." My hair falls over my shoulders as I pull out the pins. "If anything, being stuck in a dungeon, not wearing these dresses would be a blessing."
I know what I say is not true. Dakota knows it, too. She doesn't say anything, though.
I finally slip into a silk nightgown and into the bed, where Dakota jumps into, resting at the foot of the bed.
Goodnight, Erin.
"Goodnight, Dakota."