Erin (book 1 of Erin Series)

fifty-two

I say goodnight to Rune, and then head back to my bedroom. My mind races until I get to the room, only to see Dakota lifting her head and blinking her eyes slowly.
I shut the door behind me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
That is quite alright. She jumps down from the bed and stretches. How did the ball go? I heard some of the commotion about that prince who tried making you his.
I immediately turn to her. "He was an arrogant fool. And because of it, father has decided not to make me marry any time soon." I pause, walking over to the vanity and begin taking down my hair. "I am... glad. But.. I know he won't change his mind about Rune."
Rune is back. Have you told him everything?
"No. Not... Everything." I turn around on the cushioned chair to look at her blue eyes. She sits gracefully a few feet away from me. "I don't even know how to tell him. We.. didn't kiss. He knows who my parents are now of course. He knows that I hate it. He knows that... I've changed."
You have changed. And I would say for the better. Even though you dislike this so much, you have matured. You don't react as much anymore, but instead respond. Your impulses have weakened, therefore making you a greater leader during a fight.
"Yes, but.. I don't know that Rune likes it. He.. seemed distant."
He is probably taking this all in. It is a lot. Remember it was a lot for you to take in when you had first found out. You may have changed a good amount, but you haven't changed who you are inside. Rune will see that.
"I suppose you're right. We will speak more in the morning when he gives father and I the news from queen Eiva." I turn back around, ubraiding my hair, and taking all of the pins out. I then take all of it, pulling it into a high ponytail and tie it off with a silk strap. I stand up, and jump when I hear a knock at the door.
I open it only to see Rune on the other side. "How did you-"
"I asked a few servants." He steps inside and closes the door behind him. He then turns to me once more and quickly steps closer pulling me into his arms and places his lips upon mine passionately.
I close my eyes feeling like I could melt. We stand there kissing for a long moment before he quickly pulls away. "I have been wanting to do that since the moment I saw you. I just.. I couldn't bring myself to, after seeing that crown.."
I look over at the vanity where the small silver crown sits.
"Rune..."
He turns my face toward him once more with two of his fingers.
"I know. I just.. I wanted to at least kiss you one last time."
My heart sinks deeply in my chest.
We both begin speaking at the same time but stop. He nods for me to go on, but I shake my head. He speaks. "It is for the best. You will be happy, I kno-"
"How can I be happy if I can not be with you? You are my world Rune. I.. I love you."
He rests his forehead against mine cupping my cheek. "I know. And I love you. But I am not born of nobility. Your father will never accept me. He wants someone better than me for you."
"There is no one better than you!" I whisper loudly closing my eyes, forcing the tears back. I open them once more to see him still staring into them. They are also glossy. "We could run away. Together. After the war is done."
"Erin... this is not a war that is going to end in peace. Or any time soon. We.. We have to move on. We have to treat each other like soldiers now."
"It's not fair.." I whisper so softly I figure rune would not hear me.
"I know.."
"It's not fair that I was raised like anybody else, I live my life with normal people, fall in love with a normal person. I would have rather just have been raised as a princess... therefore I would never have the pain of losing you."
"It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
I step back from him. "Don't you dare use those words on me. If I have never loved, my heart wouldn't be torn in two right now."
"You will love again."
I glare at him. He sighs and looks down at the ground.
"I will never love anybody like I have loved you." I speak the truth.
He looks back up to me. "And I to you."
I turn away from him, and walk over to my wardrobe, pulling out a night gown. I begin reaching at my back to unbutton all the thousand buttons on this damned dress.
"Let me help you." Rune says from behind me.
"No." I say. "I don't need it."
"Says the one struggling to reach all of the buttons."
I shake my head fighting more tears and continue to reach for the buttons. I suddenly feel warm hands on my own as they push them down. I turn around about to push him back but instead he grabs me, pulling me close to him. By now I can't hold my tears back any longer.
He leans in and kisses me. This time with even more passion than before. He presses my body against the vanity and I lean back to catch my balance. I kiss him back fiercely. He pushes his body onto me more, causing my hand to slip, knocking the crown off the vanity. I ignore it, as I feel his tongue graze across my lips. I almost yelp when I am suddenly lifted by him and carried over to the bed, where he lays me down. I begin to breathe heavily, as he climbs onto the bed with me. I pull him closer to me, feeling the warmth of his chest on mine. We continue to kiss, toss and turn for what seemed an hour until Rune stops, staring at me.
"I will never stop loving you, even when the world decides to end. I want you to know this forever and always. Remember it every time I look at you. If I could change everything, I would, just to be with you. But you and I both know that if we were to try and be together, you would be killed. And you have too much life inside of you to die any time soon."
I look at him for a long moment before I finally nod. He gets up off the bed, pulling me with him. "Let's get you out of that dress now."
This time I let him. He unbuttons it all, but never takes it off.
I turn around, holding the dress up so it doesn't fall off and look at him.
"Goodnight, Erin. I will see you in the morning." With that he leaves the room and Dakota steps back over to me after waiting in the wash room.
Even though my heart still aches, I at least know that he will still love me. Even if we can not be together.