Erin (book 1 of Erin Series)

forty-seven

My mother, father and I sit at the large table eating our breakfast in silence. I pick at my food, almost too deep in thought to eat. I could talk to my parents now about Rune, but what if they get upset, like Keir has said? I have already been informed of the upcoming ball, my dress fitting will be this afternoon.
"Erin, stop picking at your food and eat it." Mother breaks my train of thought. I shove some potatoes in my mouth in response.
I can feel both of their eyes on me at once. I look up, and they look at each other, then focus once more on their own food. I can't bring myself to speak. I am exhausted from lack of sleep, because of my constant nightmares last night. I wonder if that might be why I haven't spoken yet. I continue to eat what is left on my plate.
"Erin," fathers voice echoes through the large room. "Meet with me in my office, when you are finished." With that, he gets up and leaves the room, not even giving me time to respond.
"I am finished, mother." I say standing up. A servant quickly takes my plate for me, cleaning up the stop where I sat.
"That is fine. Go see your father. Then come to the seamstress and get your fitting." She replies picking at some grapes.
I not and leave the room, heading down the hall and into my father's office. Dakota stays outside the doors, giving my father respect for privacy.
"Father, you called for me." I speak once I've entered the room.
"Sit down, dear." I do as I'm told. "Why were you so quiet at breakfast? That is unlike you." He circles behind his desk and sits down, glancing at all the papers on the desk then focuses he eyes on me.
"Father..." I urge myself to bring courage to my words. "I have recently heard that you want me to be married by next winter. That is less than a years time. I.. I don't know if I am ready to be married off to someone I don't know." I finally say in a respectful manner.
He looks at me, playing with his chin hairs for a moment. Setting his hand down on the desk, he sighs, speaking. "When I met your mother, I hardly knew her. But I knew from the moment I saw her, she was the most beautiful woman in all the world, and I wanted her to be mine. I knew I would take care of her, love her, nurture her. And some day, you will find a man who feels the exact same way toward you."
Does Rune feel this way about me? I think to myself.
"That is why we are having this ball." He continues. "I want all the men in the land to see your beautiful face, and feel the same way I once felt. I will be able to see it on their face, and hope that you choose them. Of course, I am not going to force you to marry someone in particular. Although, if you do not choose anyone, that will be the man I will choose for you."
We look at each other for a long moment. He is waiting for a response, and I finally give one to him.
"And.. what if I have already found someone?"
My father looks intrigued. "Oh? And who might this be?"
"Well, his name is Rune. I have known him for quite a while now. In fact, he is the reason I am here today."
I can not tell what he is thinking by the expression on his face. "Have I met this Rune of yours?"
"Well, no. He's not here." I answer him, hoping he will understand as I continue. "He had to leave because Queen Eiva had called for him to return to her. See, he is a personal assassin for the qu-"
"An assassin?!" Father stands up from his chair. "You mean the man who had been planning out this war with me?"
I open my mouth to speak but am unsure what to say. He has been helping my father? My father does know him?
"You want to marry a blood thirsty man who is in control of an army, and kills people silently for the queen?"
"Aren't you a man in charge of an entire army?" I ask standing up feeling a bit defensive of Rune.
"I am a king! A king is supposed to be in charge of the army!"
"Well Queen Eiva does not have a king any longer, therefore she needs someone to step up and take charge." I backfire.
I can tell father is getting more angry with my defensive attitude.
"You are not marrying an assassin. No one can ever trust an assassin. Not even a queen. The fact that she even has one makes me eerie about siding with her, but we need the reinforcement if we are going to win this war." He is pacing the room now. "Erin, how could you ever fall in love with someone like that? Someone so deceiving, and slick?"
"He's not deceiving father! I trust him with my life!" I shout.
He turns to me. "How can you-"
"He saved my life on multiple occasions father! I had thought I was the best fighter there ever was, my arrogance almost cost me my life when I was faced with a greater force. If he weren't there, I would have died, and you would have never seen me."
He just looks at me for a moment in confusion. "I forbid it. You will never marry him. Not under my rule! Now that is final!" He slams his fist on the table causing a few items to fall, and a sergeant rushes to pick it up, his hands shaking with fear.
I can't even bring words to my mouth, for i am so angry. I turn around and leave the room with out even excusing myself, slamming the door behind me shut.
Dakota is already standing waiting for me. I rush back down the hall, toward my bedroom.
He did not take it easy, I see. Dakota doesn't even question it. I don't answer her.
I remember that I am to get fitted for my dress, and start to turn the direction of the seemstress's room and then stop. Dakota stops with me and just looks at me for a moment.
How can I go get fitted for a dress now? Especially when my father has forbidden me to marry the man that I feel I am actually in love with. I thought he knew what love was! I begin walking again, this time with more purpose, and once I reach my new destination, I slam open the door to see my father sitting at his desk looking up at me.
"How can you tell me not to love someone I am already in love with?!" I shout.
Father stands up, quickly walking over to me and shuts the door behind me.
"This isn't about love anymore. You can not marry someone like that who has absolutely no power over any land. Exactly where do you think you'd rule as queen if you marry an assassin? The alley ways in villages?"
"Why does it always have to be about power? What if I don't want this power! I never asked for this! I never wanted to be a damned princess!!"
Silence breaks through the room. The silence is almost piercing.
"Leave." My father demands the servants in the room. They don't hesitate one second.
"I brought you into this life. I did! It was my choice to have someone take over when I am gone! And then, while we were all sleeping, an assassin came in and took you away from us. Your mother refused to have you replaced. And now that you are back, I refuse to let her down! As her husband and your father, it is my place to make sure that you are safe!" He paces around and begins laughing in a sarcastic manner. "And to think, an assassin is the one you fall in love with." He turns to face me. "Did you make love to this man?!" He steps close enough that I can smell his breath.
"No." I simply say.
He stands there looking at me. The way he stands makes me almost want to back down, but I refuse.
He turns around and starts walking again. "Do you understand why I don't want you marrying him?" He walks back toward me again, cupping my cheek with his calloused hand. "If he ever hurt my baby girl.. I would never forgive him. I couldn't even punish him enough for doing so."
My heart wants to pity him, because now he looks vulnerable. Do I really make him vulnerable?
"You will understand more when you have kids of your own. You will want the absolute best for them."
"Instead, you just refuse me of my happiness." I say a bit harsher than I wanted to.
I can see him clenching his jaw at my words.
"I want you to be happy. And you can be happy, with out him."
"He would never hurt me father." I say.
"I am not arguing any more about this. If you decide that after this ball, he is still the one you want to marry, I will personally execute you from this kingdom."
My eyes widen at his words.
"Because either way, I would never see you again."
Does he really believe that Rune would kill me? So he would have me killed by his own two hands rather than an assassin kill me? Has this argument really come to this?
"Now that I have granted you your freedom of choice, you can leave."
Freedom of choice? He thinks that by threatening to have me killed is a choice of freedom?
I walk out of his office one last time, and head down toward the seemstress's room.
"How does he think that by threatening me with death can be a free choice?" I whisper, not really to anyone as I walk down the hall.
It's the choice to be killed or to stay alive. That was the point he made. You can choose rune, if you have a death wish. Dakota explains.
"That's insane!" I say, still keeping my voice low.
He feels that no matter what, if you chose Rune, you would die either way. And nothing will change his way of thinking.

____________________________________________

I apologise for how long it took for me to finish this chapter. There has been a lot going on, and struggling with writers block did not help with it all. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I will do my best to keep writing until I finish the first book of this series. And yes, I've decided to turn this into a small series of books.
J