Erin (book 1 of Erin Series)

forty-five

The next few weeks speed past so fast, I can barely keep a hold onto each day. Though, ever day has been the same. I wake up, practice with the guard before the sun rises. When the sun has risen, I dress, and prepare myself for lessons. Lessons on history, how to dance, still how to eat properly, and many more things to know about becoming a princess. At the end of the day, I would change back into pants and a blouse, and spar with the guard once more. By the time I get to my bed, I am so tired that most nights, I even forget to take my boots off.
Godrik has been overly nice toward me since his offence the night I over heard my parents. I had been ignoring him, for the most part. Dakota has told me not to hold a grudge, and I try not to, but it is hard. By now, I haven't quite forgotten what he said, I am just too tired to care. Every week, my father and I get together and talk about a plan for this war. Some of my ideas he takes in, others he just brushes aside.
On this particular day, I am in the practice room, sparing with Damek until someone enters the room.
"Princess Erin, there has been a letter sent to you." Someone announces.
I stop, and look at the old man. Walking up to him, I take the letter from him, and thank him. He goes on his way delivering other letters.
I glance at the envelope, and read my name, no princess with it. Then I read who it's from. Rune.
Rune! Rune sent me a letter! I almost jump with glee, glance at Damek real fast, then rush out of the room. Dakota quickly follows.
What is it? She asks, as she pants with her tongue sticking out.
I continue running down the hallways, almost running into several servants. I run down a set of stairs and down one more hall, until I reach my room. I let Dakota in, and quickly shut the door.
"Rune sent me a letter!!" I squeak with uncontained joy.
Does he know? She asks.
Her question causes my face to fall. "No. I haven't heard from him, since I found out."
Well, open the letter. See what he has to say.
I do.
Dear Erin,
It has been a few days since I have reached the kingdom. I have told queen Eiva all about you, and she can't wait to meet you. Her and I have talked more about the pandoreos. She has an idea where they plan to start this war. I will find out more information. Will be traveling a lot in the mean time. I hope your stay and the castle is going well. Did you end up getting a job as a guard? Also, have you found out who your parents are? If they are still alive, I can not wait to meet them when I get there. You are in my mind all of the time. Sometimes it does get annoying. I must go, and finish a few more things. I can't wait to hear from you.
Love, Rune.
I chuckle a little bit at the letter, then slowly set it down on my dresser. What am I supposed to say?
I turn to Dakota, but she just stares at me with her blue eyes. She doesn't need to say a word.
I search through my dresser to find some paper and a writing utensil, until I finally find some.
Dearest Rune,
I have found a home in the castle, that is for sure. I also have great news, I have found out who my parents are. They are alive and well, and I can't wait for you to meet them also.
I think for a moment. I've decided not to tell him just yet. I kind of want to surprise him. Though, I don't know how he will react. I continue writing.
The castle feeds me well, and I am training with the guard. The king has me helping him with this war. I wish I knew more about the pandoreos, but Keir seems to know enough. I hope to hear back from you soon. I miss you.
Love Erin.
I finish writing it. I feel like I haven't written enough, although I wasn't sure what else to write. I fold it up, find an envelope, seal it and address it to his return address. I rush out, and find the old man who is still delivering letters, and ask him to send mine out, giving him a silver coin. He happily complies.
I return to the training room, feeling melancholy. I feel happy he sent me a letter, but I feel bad about not telling him about the king and queen. I wonder if he will ever look at me the same. If his views of me might change.
His views on you won't change, unless you change, yourself. Dakota says, as if reading my thoughts.
I turn to her and give her a forced half smile. She has to be right. Right?

Many days go by, and I don't hear from Rune. I've tried distracting myself in my daily duties, but thinking about Rune only has me distracted from my duties. I've been scolded by mother on several occasions.
My lessons end early, when the queen and king are called to a meeting with someone from the kingdom. I am not allowed to go, so I find myself roaming outaide. It's chilly, but winter is coming to an end. There are few patches of snow on the ground, and the grass is becoming greener. I walk around the large garden, and stop when I hear a twig snap in the area.
"Reveal yourself." I say after a moment of silence.
Finally Godrik comes out from behind a tree.
"Milady, I was just..."
"Save it. And don't call me that! You know how much I despise that." I say as he nears me.
"Erin, can we please just talk?" He almost begs.
What does he have to say? Part of me doesn't care to know, but a part of me is just curious. Of course, my curiosity always wins.
"What is it?" I ask.
We walk side by side for a few moments, until we find a stone bench to sit at.
"I understand that your parents have probably been nagging you about this. But the thought is also nagging at my own mind. I have been wondering if you have found anyone yet, to marry." Godrik finally asks.
"That question is ubsurd." I say. Even thinking about Rune, I never thought about marriage.
"Well, you are coming of age. You are going to have to marry someone soon. Whether it be a prince, or a knight. I-"
"I can marry who ever I want to. And as of right now, marriage is not on my mind. I am still learning to become a princess. And that's my first priority." I can't believe I'm saying this.
"There is a ball coming up soon. Your father expects you to make a choice then." He is almost blushing. I don't understand why.
"Father has said none of this to me. I've barely been in the castle for a whole season. I will worry about that when the time comes."
"Erin, you don't understand. The time is coming. You are turning eighteen years of age. You should have been married two years ago." I almost want to slap him. He sighs. "What I am saying, is, you don't have to go off and marry someone you don't know. You can be with someone you trust, someone you've known for a while." He gets down off the bench, kneeling in front of me. What is he doing?
He grabs my hand. "Erin, you can marry me. I will take care of you. Love you. Cherish you forever. Protect you."
I don't even know what to say I am in so much shock. I stand up, he's still holding onto my hand, but stands himself.
"Godrik, this is-"
Before I can say more, he has planted his dry lips onto mine. Forcing the kiss.
I blink a few times, in more shock, then push him away. I find myself slapping him across the face, out of instinct.
His face turns red out of embarrassment.
"How dare you, come onto your princess like that, uninvited?" The words slip off my tongue way too easy. As if I had been talking like that for years. What is happening to me?
"Go. Leave me. I need to be alone." I say sitting down.
I can feel the pain of the rejection floating in the air. It sticks there, even after he is gone. I pick up a rock and throw it hard. I find another one and throw it, releasing some of my anger. When I find a third one, I bring my arm back to throw it.
"Throwing things is not going to help, I hope you know this, Erin."
Keir's low voice booms from behind me. I lower my arm, dropping the rock at my side and turn to him.
"Come. Let's take a walk."
Not another walk...