One Weekend Of Giving In

Chapter 32

"So I'm guessing Jace isn't here again?"

"Yup! I swear, mom and dad must be getting annoyed with him. I mean he's been missing a few family days."

He missed six, not like I was counting or anything. I haven't seen him once since the day I passed out.

"Hey Carls, maybe i shouldn't come to family day. I mean, I might be the reason he doesn't show up."

She looked up from her laptop and narrowed her eyes at me,"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know... Maybe I'm intruding too much. I mean it is FAMILY day after all." My heart ached for Jace and I really wished it didn't. I loved Spencer. When I think about my future, he's the only man I ever saw along with our big and happy family. I needed to say goodbye to Jace once and for all. I just didn't know how or when just yet.

"Trust me! You're not intruding at all." She huffed a laugh and brought her attention back to her screen but continued to speak, "I swear, you're more of a family than he is. He's hardly around. If only I had another brother, I'd hook you two up so you could get married and be my actual sister!" I then choked on the water I was drinking and ran to the kitchen to get myself dried up. I then walked back into the living room and sat down next to Carly on the couch grabbing the bag of chips that were laying on the table.

"You are seriously eating again?"

I paused for a second, then shoved the handful of chips in my mouth "yeah?"

"Mac, you just had two burgers and large fries thirty minutes ago." Carly was looking at me and the bag of chips with disgust "ugh, I've never seen you eat this much!"

"I know," I sighed and returned the bag of chips on the table,"I'm just so freaking hungry lately! Maybe my period is going to start soon?"

"No, that's not it." She said as if she was so sure of herself. "You still have a week."

"Are you sure?" It feels like forever since I had one.

"Positive."

I sat next to her, busy trying to remember when my last one had been. Carly had to be wrong. I had to check my phone for sure, I had a calendar on there where I tracked my periods. My thoughts were interrupted when Carly's voice broke through.

"Well well well, look who decided to finally pay us a visit. By the way, mom and dad are already asleep."

I slowly turned to look at Carly and saw that she was leaning back in her chair, arms folded across her chest, shooting daggers toward the front door. I followed her line of sight and my jaw dropped when I saw him standing there.

"Whatever Carls. I was busy okay? But I didn't come here for you, I came to talk to Mac."

"Uh, me?" I asked

"Yeah."

I glanced back at Carly's annoyed and confused expression before looking back at Jace," Um.. Okay." I stood up and ötook two steps before I had to grip the chair next to me for support.

"Whoa" Crap. Not again!

"Are you okay?" They both asked while rushing to me. I held a hand up to stop them.

"I'm fine, I just got a little dizzy for a second." I took a calming breath and tried to collect myself. I caught a glimpse of Jace and I could tell he was contemplating wether to help me or to back away and not touch me at all.

"How do you feel now?" Carly questioned.

"Fine. That was really odd though."

She turned to Jace and crossed her arms over her chest "Jace, maybe you should just leave. Now isn't a good time."

"Carly don't worry about it. I'm fine. I'll be back in a few minutes." I followed Jace out the front door and stood a few feet away.

"Hi." I said pathetically. How can I ever officially say goodbye to him if I was already struggling not to kiss him.

He blew out through his nose and said "Hi."

"You've been MIA lately...."

"Yeah like I said, I've been busy. Busy with work, classes and surfing."

I nodded my head and looked at my feet "Well you're family misses you..."

"What about you?"

"Of course I do Jace."

"Mackenzie, I've given you more than enough time. I can't take another day away from you anymore. I need to know which one of us you choose."

"Are we seriously going to do this now?! Your sister could be listening from the front door!"

"I don't give a fuck! She can listen all she wants! I just need to know now."

"How can you even ask me to choose between you two?" I hissed through my teeth and met his glare "Jace you left me, just like you always do! You've completely avoided me for a month and you just show up and ask me to choose?"

He threw his arms out "Mac! I was giving you time! That's what you asked for."

"But I didn't want you to avoid me like the plague, I wanted you to fight for me!. To show me that you loved me like you said you did."

"I do love you Mac, that's why I gave you time that you asked for." I didn't say anything. I needed to think about what I say before I speak so instead I just stared into his blue pleading eyes. After a few minutes of silents I finally answered him.

"I'm sorry Jace... I can't do this."

"No no no baby ple-"

"I can't be with you. I love Spencer too much, I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Mackenzie please don't say that. I will fight for you. I'll fight for us!. Please just don't do this to me."

"I will always love you deep down in my heart, but Jace I can't take a chance with you. You'll hurt me and leave me at some point and it would kill me."

"I wouldn't dare!" He reached out for me and I didn't oblige. I needed him to hold me for one last time. I guess this is the goodbye I was never looking forward to.

"Jace, you and I both know you can't stay with a girl for long amount of time. And that's okay, that's just who you are. But I want a relationship that would last forever and it's clear that you can't give me that."

He lifted my face and stared into my eyes. When I saw his it was filled with unshed tears and the sight of it broke my heart into pieces. Not that it already wasn't.

"Mackenzie, I haven't been with anyone but you since that wonderful weekend we had together. I was the happiest man alive that day. I knew ever since the day I laid my eyes on you that you were special and that there would never be anyone else like you. That weekend with you made me realize that I want you in my life and that I can't live a day without you by my side. That was also the day I realized that I was completely in love you with."

I didn't want to believe what he said but I did because it was true. He hasn't been with anyone this past month. But that doesn't change anything. No matter what he says, he would always end up hurting me constantly and end up leaving me.

I gently kissed the corner of his mouth and stepped out of his embrace.

"I love you Jace."

"Baby, don't do this!"

"I have to. I'm sorry. Goodbye Jace."

I began to turn away but he held onto my hand and turned me around. My face was a few inches away from his. Dear lord please help me. I don't think I can control myself from kissing him. I can't kiss him. Heck he can't kiss me!. It'll just make saying goodbye even harder...