One Weekend Of Giving In

Chapter 34

I picked up the stick and the word "PREGNANT" was the only thing I saw. The other two had a smiley face with a plus sign and a "Yes"on the other. I didn't have to worry about finding out for sure, because the answer was clear enough. 

"What am I going to do?" I pulled the comforter over my head and curled myself into a tight ball. Carly pulled the comforter back and held my chin to look at her, tears streaming down my face. 

"What we are going to do is tell mom," She said. I started to refuse but she continued, "She won't get mad at you. She's been through what you are going through right now, she'll understand." I never knew Katherine got pregnant at seventeen. They looked young but I never would have thought that. 

"Really?" 

"Yes, trust me Mac she'll understand. We will set up an appointment for you and after that you'll have to figure out a way to tell Spencer." She sighed and ran her fingers through my hair,"He's a great guy Mac, he'll take care of you and your baby."

A new round of sobs shook my body "I cant. Tell Spence. He's not. He's not. Carls I didn't. I didn't lie to you."

She looked at me, confused and waited for me to explain further on. 

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't lie to you Carls, I never had sex with Spencer."

"What? You cheated on Spencer!?" She gasped "With who?"

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sleep with him." 

She scrambled off the bed and stared at me in horror "You slept with my BOYFRIEND?!" 

Oh crap. "No no no! I swear I didn't! I would never do that to you Carls."

Huffing, she held onto her chest and forced herself to sit back down, "Well there's no other person I would hate you for sleeping with. But i'm sorry I thought that. I should have known you wouldn't do that to me."

"Don't be. But Carls, I never meant to hurt Spencer, I swear. I truly love him."

"So why did you do it?"

"Because I loved the other guy too. He's asked me to leave Spencer before but I could never do it." I choked on the last words. 

"How could I not know about this? You're always with me and Spence, it just doesn't make sense." She mentally tried to put the pieces together and when she couldn't she asked "Wait, since you're ALWAYS with Spencer and I, when did this happen?"

"The day you all went to San Francisco." I replied softly

"I thought you were sick." I looked at her and saw that she was mad that i'd lied to her once again. 

"I lied. I just wanted to be alone and think until,he was there."

"Where?"

"Here."

"At the house? You invited him here?"

"I didn't have to." I watched her confused face and after a few minutes, I could practically see her put the pieces together and see the light bulb click on. 

"Oh shit." She breathed "You and Jace?"

I didn't respond, I just waited for her to start screaming and yelling at me, but it never happened. 

"Why didn't you tell me Mackenzie?" Her face was filled with hurt and disappointment. 

"I don't know. I hated myself for betraying Spencer. I could barely deal with it myself, I didn't know how to tell you or anyone else. I wanted to tell you sooo badly but I figured, since he's your brother you wouldn't be okay with it."

"Does he know about you're feelings for him?"

Nodding I tried to speak around the lump in my throat

"He loves me too Carls."

After a few silent moments she finally spoke up "It all makes sense now." I looked at her, confused as she continued, "We've all been worried about him over the last few months. He's been rude, and distant. Now that I realized it, I can't believe we never saw that he was only ever happy when he was with you." She paused for a second, "What did he say to you last night?"

"He wanted me to choose between him or Spence. The day we slept together, I asked him for space to think."

"And i'm guessing you chose Spencer?"

"Yeah." It was barely a whisper "If Spencer was never in the picture, I still couldn't be with your brother. I love him but we both know he would eventually leave me. Whenever he gets mad or upset, he bolts out and avoids me for a few weeks, sometimes even a month. But Spencer IS in the picture, and I can't imagine him not being in it." I laughed to add some humor but it just sounded off "All I wanted was to avoid hurting him and now this? this is going to kill him Carls. He'll hate me."

"Maybe a little." She tried to laugh, "But you HAVE to tell him. Actually, you have to tell them both."

"I know. Even if I don't, Spencer would still figure it out. I've never slept with him and Jace knows i've only slept with him. They'll both put the pieces together." My body felt like ice. "Oh my god Carly, I'm going to have a baby!. I'm going to be a mom. I don't know how to do that! I cant be  a mom. I'm only seventeen!" I was at the point of hyperventilating, "I can't do this. I can't do this. I'd be a horrible mom!"

"No you wont! Calm down. You're going to be a great mom Mac, no one has a bigger heart than you do." She gripped my wrists and waited for me to calm down again, "And it may be hard to believe, but Jace would actually make a good dad. All of our baby cousins love him and he has experience through babysitting. With you two as parents? This baby is going to be loved and of course Mom, Dad and I will be there to give it's unconditional love to him or her to no end."

I laughed "I really hope you're right. I'm glad to have you by my side Carls. Your'e like my sister and I am extremely sorry for not telling you earlier."

She waved my apology off "Its cool. I just find it hard to believe that dumb ass didn't use a fucking condom."

"Um, that's kinda my fault. He wanted to stop because he didn't have any but I begged him to do it anyway. And the second tim-"

"Woah! Hold up! There was a second time?"

"Well kinda. It was the same day, different time. Anyway that time I don't think either of us thought about it. We just found out you and Spence were coming home and it just happened." 

"Ugh. Okay.. Let's not get into details. He is still my brother!"

We heard a knock on the door and seconds later, Mom peaked her head through the door, 

"Hey, I just got back from the store and I saw your car parked in the driveway. Shouldn't you two be in class by now?"

"Uh... Hey mom?"

Her face changed into a worried expression as she saw my horrible state "Oh Mac honey, what's wrong? Have you been crying?"

Carly squeezed my hand and gave me a reassuring nod and we both sat up on the bed.

"Mom, there's something we have to tell you...."