One Weekend Of Giving In

Chapter 54

Our lips were still for a brief second before they began moving against each other in perfect unison. His tongue glided against my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to him, allowing us to explore each other for the first time in almost half a year. A wave of heat rushed through my body as I pulled him closer. Spencer moved his mouth down a line along my jaw to my ear and down my throat. He nipped at the hollow base of my neck and a soft moan escaped my mouth. I brought his face back up to mine, but our kisses slowed until he was barely brushing his lips against mine.

"I'll see you tomorrow Mackenzie. Goodnight." He whispered into my mouth before kissing me hard one last time. My hands reached out for him.

"Noo, Stay here. Stay with me."

Heat flashed through his hazel eyes, "Not tonight. I'll give you space to think if this is what you really want." I began to protest, but he stopped me with another mind blowing spectacular breathtaking kiss. When he pulled back, both of us were breathless. "Sleep on it, we'll talk about it tomorrow."

*****

I woke up early the next morning and stayed in bed for almost two hours thinking about what just happened last night. I know what I want, but the problem is, I don't know if I can have it. I think I almost lost the right to have it, and how would the family feel if I were to start dating Spencer again? Would they think I'd never actually cared for Jace? Would they think I stopped loving him? Would they hate me? All of these questions kept popping up and I felt like it would be one big SCREW YOU MACKENZIE from them. I mentally kicked myself for letting myself act on my feelings for Spencer last night as I took a shower and walked downstairs for some breakfast.

"Hey mom." I kissed her cheek and thanked her for the plate of French toast. "Good timing...?"

"I heard you in the shower, figured you'd be down here afterwards. How was yesterday?"

"It was actually nice. Like, oddly nice." Mom tilted her head to the side and gave me a confused look while waiting patiently for me to explain. I told her about the weird conversation with Karen after we'd first gotten there and also told her what we did the rest of the time afterwards. I finished by lamely admitting that I'd kissed Spencer last night before he left. I waited for the screaming to come but was surprised when mom smiled at me and reached for my hand.

"Sweetheart, I know you think you can't, but you can move on in that area of your life if you choose to. In fact, I think it's about time you should. Jace wouldn't want you to raise the baby and live your life alone."

"I won't be alone," I countered "I have you guys."

"You will always have us, but that doesn't mean you should shut love out of your life. Jace would want you to have a husband, he would want the baby to have a father." She wiped a tear from her cheek.

"But isn't it too soon? I'm so lost, it's like when I was fighting my feelings for Jace when I was dating spencer, only now I feel like I'm acting as if Jace didn't matter to me by even considering being in a relationship with Spencer."

"For a lot of people, two and half months is too soon. But your situation is entirely different because of your history between the three of you before. So that doesn't exactly apply to you and Spencer now. If you're worried about us Mac, don't. We all want you to be happy, and if Spencer makes you happy, then go for it. We would have never called him to help you out of your mourning if we weren't aware you would eventually go back to him. If you want to do this on your own, then you should. But, if you want to be with him, don't miss your chance with him again. He's good for you Mackenzie, and though he has every right to be bitter about your baby, he seems to already love him more than we could ever hope a man in your life would." She paused for a minute and leaned back in her chair. "I know that Jace thought of him, and I promise he would be happy with your choice. He knew Spencer would take care of, and love you the way he did. That's why he didn't interfere with your relationship for so long."