One Weekend Of Giving In

Chapter 52

After a few minutes, I walked downstairs and my cheeks immediately heated at the sight of him. He smiled softly and gestured for me to join him at the table where he was playing cards with Cory and Carly.

"Morning Best friend."

"Morning baby girl."

"Hey, good morning guys." I rubbed my stomach and sat down next to Spencer, when the other two went back to their conversation, I leaned over to his side and grabbed his hand, "Please don't be mad at me. Please understand why I can't be with you."

He rubbed his thumb over the top of my hand, squeezed it and let it go.

"I understand. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself that I can't stop making you uncomfortable, or I can't seem to control myself."

If only you knew how much I wanted you to kiss me I said to myself.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. Let's just go back to how we were, okay?"

"Yeah." He attempted a smile and tried to peak at my cards. "Thank god were not playing with money, you would be broke by now."

"That bad?" I grimaced but was glad for his change of subject and mood.

"More like terrible. Mac, you don't even have a pair, of course it's bad." He smiled wider and that favorite dimple of mine, flashed at me.

My breath caught. If I was smart and selfless, I would ask him to leave right now and not come back. But I was the opposite of both, I needed him more than i was willing to admit myself. I wanted him here even though I'm to stubborn to tell him about my feelings. I don't know why I'm overthinking this, I'm the one trying to ignore that "something" between Spencer and I. I'm the one pushing him to stay as friends. But yet I mentally begging for him to kiss me. If only he knew how much this effected me as well, if only he knew how much my love for him is growing.

*****1 MONTH LATER

The hardest parts over the next month had been clearing Jace's desk at the shop, and packing up his room at both houses. I found the ring he had been planning on proposing with, but I couldn't bring myself to open the black box. Once I laid eyes on it, i handed it off to Carly who immediately left the room to look in it. Mom and Carly put it in a safe since we all agreed to keep it even though I still refuse to look at it. Other than that time, our hearts were all in the process of healing and growing stronger, right along with my baby gummy bear. He and my stomach were both measuring bigger than the thirty weeks I was, as of today, and Dr.Homer was now positive I wouldn't make it the full forty weeks. Carly even put a basketball in her shirt to compare my bump to hers, and I was still bigger than her. I frowned when I saw the picture, but everyone laughed and said I was the cutest tiny pregnant woman they'd seen. My legs and arms hadn't changed a bit, my hips were not even a fraction of an inch wider, the only difference was my chest and stomach. To prove their point,they took a picture of my back, for a second I looked like normal Mackenzie... Until I turned to the side or faced front. We all sat around making bets on when the baby would be born. Mom said August twentieth, Dad and I said September third, which was Labor Day.. It was supposed to be a joke, Carly and Cory thought I would go all the way sticking to my actual due date which was October second, and Spencer said September eighteen. The majority of our time together was spent with at least one person's hands on my bump since my baby gummy bear was constantly practicing his karate lessons in my belly.

Mom and dad were taking a lot of weekend trips lately, and Carly and Cory spent every single day together. They were practically inseparable. Though we were all healing and fully back into our normal lives, everyone was still aware of how fragile life was, and were always trying to spend their days with their family or their significant other. With that in mind, each one of us, including Cory and Spencer, had tried contacting coach in some way and tried to convince him to let me back into his life and hopefully accept his grandson. Not one of us had gotten through or heard back from him. After another week of trying, I had finally given up. I told everyone to just stop because it wasn't worth it. Coach was stubborn and he wasn't going to change just because six people left him voicemails and emails for a few weeks. I finally accepted the fact that he won't come back for me. He won't accept my decisions, and he will never accept me. That's how he has always been, and I was done trying to persuade him to love me.

Mom and Carly took me out shopping to help get my mind off of my anger with coach. I didn't know "shopping" meant picking out clothes and, nursery items for my baby along with more maternity clothes. I was like their own personal life size doll. I didn't complain though, it was fun and it made them happy and made me happy as well so I continued to go along with everything.

By Fourth of July, the extended family were able to come down so mom planned a surprise early baby shower. The only girls I'd been friends with other than Carly had all graduated at the beginning of June, so there weren't a ton of women at the shower, but we'd all had so much fun and being surrounded by Jace's family was more perfect than I could have ever hoped for. We'd invited Spencer's mom, but she and Avery had flown back to Miami for two weeks to spend time with her family and today would be my first time seeing her since Christmas. Spencer continued to come by every day and despite what we were both so obviously wanting, we always kept it on the friendly side. Not saying that wasn't hard, but it's what we had to do. We hadn't brought up that day at the beach or my bathroom again,and he seemed happy just to be around me even though it's on the friends level. Every time I'd see him, he'd give me a hug, bend down so his face was almost pressed to my swollen belly and greeted my baby. Sometimes he would say "Hey" or "How are you treating your momma today?" And sometimes he would give a full recap of his and Cory's morning surf, and how his day went and it always made my heart warm and my stomach flip, but I couldn't tell him that.

Like I had suspected, Spencer was fighting again, and though I hated it, I kept my mouth shut. It wasn't my place, and he loved what he does, and plus who was I to voice my opinion?. At least he still hadn't lost a fight and thank god hadn't been back to the hospital. That didn't mean there wasn't a new bruise, broken ribs or cut lip every now and then. Avery, Cory, Carly and I went to every fight, I would sit there shaking and cringing until it was over, and after he'd showered and changed, he would let me inspect his new injuries if there were any. Spencer laughed every time but let me do my inspections without complaint.

Carly, mom and I were coming back from another wonderful appointment of seeing my bear and stopping by for boba when my heart rate doubled. Spencer's car was already parked in the driveway, and I couldn't wait to see him and show him the new ultrasound pictures. He was supposed to come by later to pick me up so I could have dinner with his mom and Avery but I was still glad he was here and but yet nervous for later. I'd cheated on Spencer weeks after meeting his mom and I'm sure she didn't like the fact that Spencer and I were friends again. I forced myself to walk slowly to the house, but i know I wasn't fooling mom or Carly. As soon as I walked through the front door, Spencer gave me a huge bear hug and reached for the pictures.

"Look how cute he is! He was asleep but he still looked cute." I exclaimed. Mom and Carly giggled when they passed us. Yeah, not fooling them alright.

He dropped down to a squat and put his hands tenderly on my stomach.

"Hey little man!" Spencer's deep husky voice was warm and melodic whenever he spoke to him. "How could you sleep though the whole appointment huh? Your mom was so excited to see you moving around, maybe next time alright buddy?"

I watched the one sided conversation, biting my lip to keep myself from grinning like an idiot. Spencer would be such a great father. Woah. Back up, where did that come from? I asked myself. Don't go down that road Mac.

Spencer stood back up and absentmindedly began tracing shapes along my stomach. "What did Dr. Homer say?"

"She said everything was great!" That was another thing, he would always ask how I felt and how the appointments went. Even Cory and Dad didn't do that. "I go back in another two weeks. She said he's still big and there's a possibility she's going to put me on bed rest after my next appointment to try to keep him from coming out too early."

"Bed rest?" His hazel eyes looked worried "But didn't she say everything was okay?" I smoothed out his furrowed brow and stared in his eyes.

"I'm fine Spencer, don't worry about it." He still looked nervous "So how about we go see your mom?" After a few moments, all the worry left his eyes and a slow unsure smile spread across his face.

"There's something I have to show you Mackenzie."

"Okay? What is it?" He took my hand and walked me down the hall.

"Promise me if you don't like it, you'll tell me?"

"I'm sure I'll love it... You have it in the nursery?" I asked confused when we stood in front of the door.

"Promise?"

"Okay I promise." I squeezed his hand tight and opened the door to reveal what was in the nursery..