TRITTANY: Finally Noticed

Looking for Answers

BRITTANY

5 Months Earlier...

FaceTime with Trevor hadn't gone exactly how I had planned. Then again, I hadn't really known what to expect, so I guess no matter how it went, it wouldn't have been according to plan. I wasn't sure what had made me FaceTime him. I guess my conversation with Victoria had left me with a lot of questions. Ones that she couldn't answer - or if she could - she hadn't done so. Part of me was curious to see what Trevor would be like. Somehow I didn't think that a phone call would be enough to tell - so I video chatted him instead.

Seeing him there, on the screen in front of me caused a load of nerves to suddenly kick in. I wasn't so sure how I was supposed to approach this subject. I didn't even really know anything about it. All I did know was that Victoria had been saying that Trevor had been really down in the dumps since I had gone and her sudden outburst when she said that she thought the only reason Trevor and I weren't dating was because we worked together. Once that can of worms had been opened, the conversation I had with Vic took a dive. She became stuttering and hesitant - and I knew then that there was something she wasn't telling me. I guess I thought that going on FaceTime with Trevor may have given me the answer.

But it hadn't. It had just left me with a bunch of more questions.

Despite this, talking with him had been fun. It felt like I wasn't as far away as I actually was. In a way, I had to remember that Trevor was back in Canada and I was in Sydney, as opposed to us both being on the set in different rooms. We had filmed a lot of FaceTime scenes in the past season's shooting, due to the storyline that had James in London and Riley at home in the Studio.

I didn't realise how fitting the storyline was to what we were actually going through in real life. Me here, him - I mean, them - there. It all got very heavy if you thought about it too hard. So far, I had been too busy to contemplate it too much, and being on FaceTime with Trevor had felt like we were super close together again. Even when my heart was racing because I was sure I had blown my super cool and collected act when I hunted for Trevor to tell me anything he may have wanted too and things took a turn for awkward. It didn't matter that I could see it was broad daylight on Trev's side and pitch dark on mine, because for a minute time difference didn't exist. We were kind of in the same place - even if that wasn't possible in the slightest.

But then the FaceTime call ended and it all came rushing back, ten times harder than it had ever been before. I had placed my phone down on the kitchen tabletop, gripping my coffee mug until my knuckles turned white and feeling like there was a weight on my chest. Like an emptiness had now filled the space in which my joy had been during the FaceTime call.

"Two weeks, Britt," I whispered. "Two weeks."

Those two weeks dragged in, no matter how busy I was. I had gone back to work after my couple of days off and finally got some real work done. I went in at seven am, bang on time for the day, wearing my usual dance attire with my hair straightened and a coffee flask in hand. I set up the computer in my office, signing in and responding to emails about both work things and my flights which had already been booked to get home. I didn't allow the documents explaining my trip home to sidetrack me. Laurel stopped by, poking her head inside my door after knocking.

"How you settling, hon?" she asked just as I clicked off of my emails and spun to face her in my chair.

"I'm good," I told her. "All caught up on the admin at least."

"Glad to hear it," she beamed, "because it's about time we get you to choreograph something."

The rest of my day was spent in my own studio space, in front of the mirrors as I worked through some choreography. I had already prepared some in the living room of my apartment; partly to get my mind off of my FaceTime calls with Vic and Trevor and partly to feel prepared for the upcoming season. This first routine wasn't going to be used at all in the show, but apparently there was some sort of profile being made online for the new SYTYCD choreographer. Something about me being the youngest one yet and needing to engage the viewers with the team on the show - especially the ones they are going to be seeing a lot of. I didn't care what the reason for me needing a routine was, I was just happy I was actually finally getting the chance to choreograph one.