The Desired Effect ~ Cameron Liddell

Chapter 4. "NHW + CJL 4EVA"

Though the RV was hot and you couldn't help but sweat with every breath, I still wrapped my entire body around Cameron when we slept. We both woke up a little bit damp every morning. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Good morning my love." I kissed Cameron's nose. No matter what position we slept in we were still comfortable, like our bodies just fit together like mutually moldable puzzle pieces. Cameron kissed my forehead and tightened his arm around me underneath my neck, and stretched his long legs a few inches out of the bunk so he had the space. In my mind, the severity of our feelings towards each other could never have been a honeymoon phase because I could not imagine in all the lifetimes one might have, existing without feeling so strongly about him that it made it hard to breathe sometimes. His presence alone brought me ecstatic bliss.

"All mine." He reached over my back and grabbed a handful of my ass - not much of a feat because I had a small ass and he had big hands. "All mine."

"Come on, get up it's noon." Danny ripped open the curtain of the bunk, exposing my nearly naked body.

"Oh my god!" I screamed, pulling the curtain back.

"Don't sleep naked."

"Don't fucking do that." He just laughed and walked away.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him." Cameron muttered. Cameron covered me with our thin, scratchy blanket. I held up my left hand on his shoulder to see my new ring sparkly in the sliver of sunlight leaking in from the cracked plastic shade behind him. A silver ring with a giant diamond in the center, glimmering every time I moved my hand. Rather than save Cameron's ring to give him later, he put his silver band on when he gave me mine.

"I love it." I smirked to myself.

"What? Danny seeing your-"

"The ring, Cam. I mean the ring."

"Today's the day- wait. What time did Danny say it was?" Both of our eyes went wide as we put on underwear and scrambled out of bed. "Why didn't anyone wake us up?" Cameron screamed as he tore clothes out of his bag.

"I just did." Danny said obviously from his perch, hunched over with his legs dangling out of the bunk. Brandi rushed in.

"I'm helping you or we aren't getting anywhere in time. Get out." Cameron grabbed what he needed and left, but Danny didn't move. "Danny, go away." Brandi repeated while wrapping me in her short, blue fluffy robe that smelled like her sickeningly sweet Playboy perfume. The neck was stiff from hairspray.

"Why? This is my bunk." I walked over and threw his curtain closed before Brandi sent me to the bathroom to freshen up. The water from the sink that was covered in hair and soap scum was ice cold on my tired and warm face. There was no time for me to get into the venue for a shower, so I made due with a pack of baby wipes.

"Here," Cameron said after knocking on the thin, hollow door. "Open up." I unlocked it and opened it just enough for him to stick his hand in, holding a lit cigarette.

"Thank you." The first drag made me nauseous, but the second drag relaxed me and I could confidently hold my razor to shave without turning myself into a cutting board. Someone has to call the church and make sure everything is still ready. Someone has to go set up. Why did no one wake us up earlier? What if my dress doesn't fit anymore? What if I magically gained ten pounds overnight? What if I'm pregnant and today is the day I start showing? I dropped the robe on the floor and stood on my toes to see more of myself in the small mirror above the sink. My body was just as undesirably average as before. I was never especially thin, or big. I had average C cup breasts for a girl my age, no matter how many times my mother tried to tell me how big they were to make herself feel better about being completely flat - a daughter is a mother's worst enemy, and biggest competition, and not a day went by in the presence of Molly Walters that I did not feel scrutinized and judged. Don't eat that, you'll get your grandmother's hips. Well, why aren't you eating that? That's good for you. Oh, Nomi, won't you just relax? We were just having fun. You know, your thighs definitely don't come from my side of the family. You're already a size four at seventeen years old? When I was your age.... When I was your age... if I was your age... if only you... if only... if only...