The Desired Effect ~ Cameron Liddell

Chapter 18. "More Often"

Three years later.

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I had seen every headline about us, about her, over the years. All I did all day was google our names for years. I read every article and watched every video about us. About Naomi, Cameron, and myself. They saw what they saw and I couldn't stop them, but I didn't ever come to them with something I had found. I knew they didn't want to know what people were saying about them, and I knew even better that they couldn't handle it. Naomi's phone hadn't been hacked again, and she stopped getting hurt all the time, so even more of the rumors died down after a while. I wasn't sure if that came with years of trying to cover things up, or if we just grew up and stopped being so rough with her and each other. It was growing impossible to hide her changes though. Naomi lost so much weight she couldn't have been more than 90lbs soaking wet, and she was disgusted with herself because of it. Cameron pretended he didn't notice because it hurt him so deeply to think that maybe we really had been hurting her from the start. Both of them were addicted. It was my fault. We had stopped doing almost all interviews unless we knew they wouldn't ask about Naomi, which was beginning to be impossible, with the new album out. Touring became a struggle, as Naomi wasn't well enough and didn't want any more media attention, and Cameron was worried about leaving her alone. I picked up my phone from the floor beside me where I sat, a bottle in my other hand. I dialed their house number three times before I finally pressed talk and called them. Naomi answered.

"Hi Danny, how are you Danny?"

"I'm- lovely, Naomi. How are you?" She was high.

"Oh I'm so good! I just ate a massive donut Cameron brought home for me. It was so good."

"Oh that's good."

"Yeah. It was so good. We have more here if you wanna come over and have one?" I thought for a moment. She's high. Which means Cameron is probably high. And all Cameron wants to do when he's high is kiss Naomi and cuddle her and love her. I do not want to see that. "Cameron is at James' house."

"You got it." I laughed. "I'll be over in ten."

"Okay Danny bye Danny." She said my name constantly as if she was trying not to forget it. As if she was unsure Danny was still my name and she was saying it to see if I corrected her.

"Goodbye Naomi." I hung up and put on pants before driving over. When I got there I walked in using the key they had given me. I had to check up on both of them when the other one was away, which was a rare occasion. I hoped when we all had our own houses, all of our own permanent living spaces, we would have keys to each other's places for a different reason. As a gesture of friendship, as a welcome wish. I didn't want a key to Cam and Naomi's apartment because I was terrified that every second I turned the handle I might find one of them dead.

"Danny!" Naomi jumped off the couch, tearing right over to me and jumping into a hug. It was like lifting a backpack.

"Hey, Nomes." I kissed her cheek politely and she ran off down the hall. I locked the door behind myself. Their apartment was disgusting. Pizza boxes on the floor in the corner, bottles all over the ground, some smashed, some half full. I kicked a path for myself through the trash as I walked over to the mouth of the hallway. "Nomes?" She ran back out with a pack of cigarettes and ushered me to follow her onto the balcony. I followed and she gave me a cigarette. Like the change had hit her like a ton of bricks, she was stunningly calm the second I closed the balcony door. I scanned her appearance. She had cut her hair short and dyed it blue, but it had grown back to its original length, so half of it was blue and the rest was dark brown. Her skin was pasty and pale, and she looked too skinny to walk, never mind run around the house all day like she did. She lost her cute baby cheeks over the years, like we all did when we grew up, but it continued until she just looked gaunt and hollow like a corpse. You could see all the bones in her face, barely held together with her dry skin. I loved her, so she would always be beautiful to me, but it was not pretty.