The Desired Effect ~ Cameron Liddell

Chapter 13. "Too Close For Comfort"

"Can I speak to you?" Ricky mouthed from across the bus, where everyone was drinking except Josh, Chris, and Ricky. I stood as slowly as slowly as necessary when the entire room was spinning. I stumbled straight into Ben. "Can I steal a cigarette?" I said, trying not to sound as drunk as I was. We hot boxed the back lounge before inviting everyone over for an after show party. He nodded and brushed me off. I picked a cigarette from the back in his back pocket and put it between my lips. After a minute of trying to put the pack back in his pocket he just grabbed it from my hands and put it in himself without missing a beat. I nodded slightly and shuffled to the front of the bus. Ricky helped me down the stairs before closing the bus door.

"You good?" He raised and eyebrow as I attempted to light my cigarette. It took me a while, but I got it. I sat down on the ground abruptly. The paved lot was warm on the back of my thighs and with no breeze I still felt the lingering heat of the day. It was better than all that body heat in the stuff bus. Ricky chuckled before sitting on the ground in front of me, and lighting his own Marlboro.

"I could have given you a cigarette." He offered after a moment of silence.

"I wanted one of Ben's."

"Look I wanted to ask you about him. Well, all of the band. And you." I stood up too fast and grabbed the mirror on the side of the bus for stability. "Wait, Nomes please." Ricky looked up at me desperately. I gave him a weird look and he scratched the back of his neck. "Naomi. Sorry." I sat back down so I wouldn't fall first. "What's going on with you and Danny? Making you chug the bottle and pushing you down. Everyone can hear your screaming from buses away. What's going on with you guys?"

"It doesn't matter." I said before burping. "Sorry. It doesn't matter what I do. Because if I'm Normal Naomi than I'm boring, and no one likes boring girls. So I made myself weird, and now Sam doesn't like me and I can't tell if Danny likes me more or less. Sometimes he's nice, sometimes not."

"I thought you were with Cameron?"

"I am."

"So why do you care what anyone else thinks of you?"

"Because." I said. "What are you, a cop or a cop writing a book?"

"I'm just worried is all. Everyone is." I hung my cigarettes between my lips to fix my hair and push my cheeks up into a smile. "You looked exhausted." I rolled my eyes and waved him off, leaning into the side of the bus.

"No time to sleep. Gotta party." I threw my hands up to make him laugh but he clearly was not in the mood. "

"What have they made you into? Why do you let them do that to you?" He reached out to touch my hand but I slapped him off.

"No one is doing anything to me. You don't know shit about me. You don't know shit about them." I got up slowly and walked back on the bus. "If you have something you want to say about my friends you can say it in front of them. Go fuck yourself." I flicked my cigarette, it mostly just fell out of my hand, and threw open the bus door before I even got up. "If Cameron hears you talking like this..."

"Naomi." Ricky said as he followed me onto the bus. God just get away from me.

Cameron's POV

"Are you sure."

"Just fucking do it." I sighed. Danny flicked the end of a needle, a drop falling from the tip. He nodded hesitantly. He carefully jabbed the needle into my vein and pressed the plunger slowly. Instantly my arm was glowing. I held Naomi's hand tightly as she looked at me, horrified.

"See, I'm fine baby." I smiled and kissed her. "Just do it. For me." She shook her head no. She watched my arm curiously until the blue went away. Almost thirty seconds after Danny gave me the shot, my head was in the clouds. Everything looked like it was spinning, but I seemed to be okay with it. I couldn't feel my arms around Naomi so I held her tighter. When Ben came in, he did it himself. Then James, whom had Ben do it while he squished up his face and looked away. James hated needles. Sam was the last one. He was hesitant at first, but quickly convinced. He sat on the floor and just stared at his hands for a while. Naomi whispered in my ear.