The Desired Effect ~ Cameron Liddell

Chapter 21. "Take Me Back"

"I would come quickly."

"I'm on my way right now, thank you." I hung up. My stomach was in knots. Actually my entire body was in knots. A doctor. From the hospital. I didn't know if it was Cameron or Naomi that time, they stuttered on the M of Mr or Mrs and all I heard was Liddell.. I sped and ran every red light and stop sign I could to get from my house to the emergency unit. I couldn't find it in myself to be surprised that it was Naomi. "Cameron." He was the first and only person there. I sat down beside him and it took a moment for him to look up at me. He instantly started bawling his eyes out. I just hugged him tightly. "What happened?" He tried to speak but anything that came out was impossible to understand. I just let him cry. Slowly but surely the whole band arrived and asked the same question. All Cameron could manage to get out was that she's still alive. And that was enough to sedate everyone until we could get more information. Cameron stopped crying and when I brought him outside for a cigarette he told me that Naomi got high and slipped in the shower. "Her head was bleeding everywhere and I think she broke some more ribs. I really don't know I just- there was lots of blood" he said. I nodded.

"She'll be okay." I said, patting him on the back. "She always is."

"I don't know Danny." Cameron looked at me, dead serious. "I don't know this time." My heart sank. I could do anything, anything, anything but lose Naomi. Not after all that time, the good and the bad, not after how hard I tried to keep her alive, not after giving her my entire life. Anything, anything, anything, but I couldn't lose her. "There was a lot of blood. I call 911 right away. They put her in the ambulance and hooked her up to a million machines before we even got to the hospital. I'm scared, Danny." I put my arm around him.

"Me too, Cameron."

"So you're gay now too?" Myca walked out, lighting a cigarette between her teeth. She did not sound lighthearted.

"Since when are you gay?" I looked at her, taking my arm off Cameron.

"Since like two years?" She said as if it was no big deal. "Well, bisexual." I nodded.

"Oh."

"I don't fucking care" Cameron added. I gave him another cigarette.

"You shouldn't be here." I said. I hated Myca. I hated seeing her face and I hated listening to her talk and I hated that she abandoned Naomi and I hated that she came back. I hated her because we had something special and I left her for someone who didn't love me. I hated her because I was horrible to her for a long time, because I was selfish, and ruthless, and I was exactly as advertised. I hated that there was nothing I could make myself do to be better for her, no matter how many times I tried or what promises I made her. I hated her because of what she said to me the night we broke up for the very last time, and I hated her because she made me angry enough to say what I said to her that night. She was itching for a fight for weeks, maybe months, just so we could both finally say what we had to say and the long, horrible, slow break up would be over. It's worse to realize you can't be together anymore over weeks, months, years, than it is to dust your hands off quickly and walk away.

"Naomi is my friend too, Danny. You don't get to dictate her life."

"If I could I would, Myc. If I could, I would." Cameron put his cigarette in his pocket before pushing past me.

"Shut up, both of you. You're like children. Just shut up." He went inside. Myca and I finished our cigarettes in silence before going back inside. The entire band looked like they were all about to cry, but like they were trying to hide it. Cameron was just sitting on the floor in front of a chair, staring off down a hallway. Myca sat on the chair behind him, one of her legs on either side, and started running her fingers through his hair. She changed between detangling, braiding, and just plain running her fingers through his hair. It seemed to put him at some sort of ease. Myca just needed to keep her hands busy. I sat as far away from her as possible, beside Sam.