The Desired Effect ~ Cameron Liddell

Chapter 20. "The Naomi Affect"

I considered myself lucky. Perhaps unfairly. I got to watch everything fall apart from the outside. I stayed tuned to Naomi's Instagram on the Thrash and Burn tour. To all her injuries. Kept up to date with her on the phone. I watched her delete all her social media. I watched her slowly stop coming around. She used to sleep over every Friday night. Girls night with Brandi and Sam. I saw all the headlines, I saw through everything they said. Lying to keep her safe. To keep what was happening to her under wraps. I saw what it was doing to the band, namely Cameron and Danny. Danny. Everyone who ever met her fell in love with her, and it was all that more gutting to see her become what she did. A shell, a husk, half the woman she used to be. Though, she was just a girl.

I called every day for months until it got too painful to even hear her voice. I imagined her sick and dying on the other side of the phone and couldn't hold it inside long enough to finish the conversation without crying. It amazed me how no one had stopped them. I had to know. With no new pictures, no new updates, I had to know if she was alright. The drive to the Liddell house was quick - I knew the route by heart. I parked where I usually did near where they used to park. The heels of my shoes echoed loudly as I walked through the near empty parking garage. I stopped dead in my tracks as the elevator door opened. "Danny?"

"Myca?" His eyes went wide as he walked out of the elevator hesitantly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how they are. No one seems to answer my fucking calls anymore."

"Did you ever think that maybe that's because no one wants to fucking talk to you?" I sighed and rolled my eyes at his comment. He'd changed so much since I last saw him, but seemingly only in looks. Our last fight was a bad one. I'd been telling everyone we both said things we didn't mean, but I was giving him too much credit. I forgave him, made excuses for him all that time.

"Fuck you. How is she?"

"I wouldn't go up there if I were you."

"Why not."

"Because." He crossed his arms, not letting me past into the elevator. "I just had to save Naomi's fucking life. We just got back from the hospital because I cracked one of her ribs trying to restart her heart after she overdosed. She weighs about two pounds now and never leaves the house or really talks to anyone at all unless they come see her or their name is Cameron Liddell. Every other week I'm there to make sure she doesn't choke to death on her own vomit because she gets so fucking drunk she can't even move anymore. I am the reason she is alive. And you didn't bother to fucking come see how your best, no, how your only friend was, for months. She's dying Myca, and when I'm planning her funeral, when I'm planning both their funerals because Cameron will not be far fucking behind, you will not be on the list." My heart dropped out of my body and to the ground floor of the parking garage as tears welled in my eyes.

"Oh." I choked out.

"All you can say is oh." He shook his head, on the verge of tears himself. "You know what, go upstairs so you can see the fucking disaster you could have helped avoid. You might have helped, Myca, do you know that?" His shoulders slumped in emotional defeat. "You might have been able to help me stop this. Stop it from getting this bad. She wouldn't see Brandi but she would see you and- if you just tried like-" He swallowed harshly. I had only ever seen Danny cry once before. It was when he realized that I knew he was leaving me for her. He never said it out loud. He didn't have to. I suppose waiting around for someone who doesn't love you is better than pretending you love someone else. I couldn't figure that out for a long time, but I understood then. "If you just tried like I did..."

"I love her." I begged. I didn't want him to be mad at me. I never did. Loving her made me feel disgusted.

"Join the fucking club." He walked off to his car. I wiped my face as I walked into the elevator just before the doors shut. I pressed the level of their apartment, mentally preparing myself for whatever I was about to see. For however they were going to react. I walked out and into the hallway, following the old beaten down carpet to the end of the hall. I could smell the cigarette smoke inside from the hallway. I knocked loudly. Nothing for two minutes. I knocked again.