The Desired Effect ~ Cameron Liddell

Chapter 20. "The Naomi Affect"

I considered myself lucky. Perhaps unfairly. I got to watch everything fall apart from the outside. I stayed tuned to Naomi's Instagram on the Thrash and Burn tour. To all her injuries. Kept up to date with her on the phone. I watched her delete all her social media. I watched her slowly stop coming around. She used to sleep over every Friday night. Girls night with Brandi and Sam. I saw all the headlines. I saw through everything they said. Lying to keep her safe. To keep what was happening to her under wraps. I saw what it was doing to the band, namely Cameron and Danny. Danny. It tore him apart to see his best friend like that. An addict. She used to be so much more. A bright light that lit up every room she entered with just a smile. She could make the whole world laugh. She was gorgeous and everyone who met her fell in love with her - loved her so much they could hardly look at the girl she had become without crying. I was no exception. I called every day for months, even after she stopped answering. It amazed me how no one had stopped her. Thrown her in a rehab center or a hospital. I somehow realized that I could just go over to her house to see how she was. I had to know. I had to know if she was alright. I managed to roll myself out of bed onto my bruised knees, groaning as I stood. I took a shower, forcing myself not to get lost in the feeling of the hot water like I usually did. The drive to the Liddell house was quick - I knew the route by heart. I had driven over many times, but not gone inside. I couldn't convince myself that if she didn't want to see me anymore, that I would be alright with that. I parked where I usually did near where they used to park. The heals of my shoes echoed loudly as I walked through the near empty parking garage. I stopped dead in my tracks as the elevator door opened. "Danny?"

"Myca?" His eyes went wide as he walked out of the elevator hesitantly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how they are. No one seems to answer my fucking calls anymore."

"Did you ever think that maybe that's because no one wants to fucking talk to you?" I sighed and rolled my eyes at his comment. He'd changed so much since I last saw him. But seemingly only in looks.

"Fuck you. How is she?"

"I wouldn't go up there if I were you." I felt myself get nervous.

"W-why not."

"Because." He crossed his arms, not letting me past into the elevator. "I just had to save Naomi's fucking life. She weighs about two pounds now and never leaves the house or really talks to anyone at all unless they come see her or their name is Cameron Liddell. I cracked her ribs trying to restart her heart after she overdosed, and every other week I'm there to make sure she doesn't choke to death on her own vomit because she gets so fucking drunk she can't even move anymore. I am the reason she is alive. And you didn't bother to fucking come see how your best, no, how your only friend was, for three months. She's dying Myca, and you don't even deserve to be around for it." My heart dropped out of my body and to the ground floor of the parking garage as tears welled in my eyes.

"Oh." I choked out.

"All you can say is oh." He shook his head, on the verge of tears himself. "You know what, go upstairs. So you can see the fucking disaster you could have helped avoid."

"I love her Danny." I begged. I didn't want him to be mad at me. I never did.

"Join the fucking club." He walked off to his car. I knew he left me for her, way back then. I suppose waiting around for someone who doesn't love you is better than pretending you love someone else. I couldn't figure that out for a long time, but I understood then. I wiped my face as I walked into the elevator just before the doors shut. I pressed the level of their apartment, mentally preparing myself for whatever I was about to see. For however they were going to react. I walked out and into the hallway, following the old beaten down carpet to the end of the hall. I could smell the cigarette smoke inside from the hallway. I knocked loudly. Nothing for two minutes. I knocked again.