Bad Romance(BOOK 2)

Chapter 19-When You Dance With The Devil

It's gonna hurt because it matters...

They all enjoyed their night off before the show. It was a good distraction from the fact that they were going to end the tour in a few weeks.

Anka felt her heart cringe at that thought. She really got used to having those people around and she really got herself attached to them. But good things always came to an end at one point and she had to be well aware of that.

She was sitting in the room's small balcony and looking at the stars. It was a surprisingly bright night and the sky was clear, despite being late November. She threw a quick glance at Jared, who was sound asleep in the bed and then lit herself a cigarette.

It was a bit cold so she curled her legs up to her chest and wrapped the small blanket onto her feet. She couldn't quite let go of what Jared has said a few days ago and even tonight.

He was hinting of starting a family at one point, but she knew all too well she couldn't quite give that to him. Not through natural ways anyway. Doctor Pratt made it quite clear from the very beginning.

"You are completely healthy, your body is perfectly capable of holding a pregnancy, but unfortunately, you can't get pregnant through natural ways. You don't need to despair, or panic. A lot of women after doing what you have done have these problems, it's not really that much of an issue and all the babies conceived in that way are perfectly healthy.", he explained.

"But will it hurt?", she asked with a bit of panic in her voice.

"It will, only a little, but it's a pain worth having."

Anka didn't feel quite comfortable with the idea of her uterus being poked with needles. She barely felt comfortable with the idea of having a period and the pains that followed.

The only good thing about having this problem was that she and Jared never bothered to buy condoms anymore. At one point they did bother, but then, since their relationship became a lot more serious, Jared stopped doing that. It was a pain in the ass to open and unwrap condoms anyway in the heat of the moment.

She also knew that Jared would be petrified by the idea of having a baby. Yes, he loved kids, he was great around them, but he didn't give her the impression he was going to change diapers anytime soon. He barely committed to a serious relationship, let alone face the responsibility of having to change diapers, but car seats, look for day-cares or buy baby food.

True, they still had that joint account in case they had a baby, they never bothered to go through all the legal things that had to be done when they broke up in the first place. They just added each month a certain amount of money to the one that was already there.

Seeing where her career was going and how busy himself was Anka wasn't really expecting another marriage proposal. She had to think about the tour that was coming shortly after New Year, about calling up an opening act and about interviews, award seasons and a lot of other stuff. A child was the least of her priorities right now.

She went next to Jared and he wrapped his arms protectively around her.

"You were out...your feet are cold...", he mumbled through his sleep, holding her even closer to him.

The next day was hectic. Both Anka and The Script had their press conferences, the meet and greets and the actual concert. Anka was hinted that she will be nominated for the EMA's and The Grammys. It was a lot of ground to cover and a lot to take in.

The only thing she was happy about was that the press gave her a rest when it came about asking personal questions about her and Jared. The only time Jared's name was dropped was when she was asked if they were going to do a collaboration.